Okay, remember when I said I wouldn’t talk about 1d anymore? Let me do this last thing.
Okay so literally, the whole stalking culture/wanting to be famous? Okay, let’s talk about another larrie problem: the secret larrie club.
What is the secret larrie club? You know those people in kindergarten forming super exclusive circles of Cool Kids and ruining the fun for everyone else? Yo, now bringing back the kindergarten fun in fandom, we have the amazing Secret Larrie Club (SLC for short, and no, I’m not talking about Salt Lake City, though SLC Punk was a film that shaped my teenage years).
So, what does this club do? Nothing, mostly, except like, inflating each other’s ego in a big circlejerk. They think they’re the ones who have all the supersecret infos, and they stalk or use stalkers to obtain those, and then (this is particularly important, kids, listen up) they make it so that their Opinions are More Right than other people’s opinions.
To get deeper into what the SLC does: they stalk people, or become friends with people with the purpose of obtaining info from them. And this not only makes them not trustworthy by people who have actual info (which, *Alanis Morissette’s voice* isn’t it ironic), but also is totally useless for any purpose that’s not gaining popularity in the Larrie world.
Like, why do you need to know Harry’s plane info? To establish that Larry is real? Well, big fucking deal then, I thought we all knew since, like 2012. No, you need that info to say you’ve got that info to your follower, and subsequently being treated like a queen Bee. Only to say you don’t actually stalk the boys because you don’t go and meet them in the street, when there are actually multiple ways to stalk someone. And boy, do they notice that, I can promise you ;) but I’m digressing.
Anyway, the lack of self-awareness is one of the most ridiculous things, like, we have two different groups of people acting like stalkers, and both denying it. Only, one of the groups has that holier than thou attitude, and publicly denigrates the other group for stalking (and privately is all buddy buddy with them, just like De André sang in La città vecchia: quella che di giorno chiami con disprezzo…)
And after you’ve hurt people you claim to care about (because they do see you stalking and they’re obviously not happy about it) you use those info to gain popularity on your tumblr blog, and to establish yourself as a Trustful Info Source so you’ll gain followers from that.
But you have to be the only Trustful Source (you and your pals), or everything will be lost and you won’t be the queen bee anymore. Hence, the opinions thing.
And from that, it’s just natural that if someone has an opinion differing slightly from the SLC Opinions, they must be cancelled, erased, and sent in the eighth circle of hell (which is where Falsifiers are punished, according to Dante Alighieri our lord and saviour and if you say he wrote a fic I’m decking you). You still think that Larry is real, babygate is fake, but you don’t think that people should stalk? Omg, you’re an anti for sure, let’s send anon hate your way. Or you don’t think that a particular piece of information is valuable? Anti, anti, anti. And also deluded. like, basically they throw around the word anti just like in that queer meme where every thing upsetting you is homophobic.
Of course, this is a perfectly acceptable kindergarten behaviour. Kids are still small and still learning, and adults gotta teach them. And if you consider fandom like kindergarten, good for you. I guess.
But there’s nous autres who don’t really consider fandom like kindergarten, who maybe want to live in a nicer environment where you can express you opinions without being viciously attacked (by “””””your side””””” too, lmao) for it, and who think that stalking is always wrong, and slut-shaming is too :)
And yet. The SLC is ought to get us, unfortunately.
But not this time, SLC, not this time around. This time around you can go stick that sense of self-entitlement up where the sun doesn’t shine (namely your nose, of course, we’re classy people here, I would never wish anal upon anyone). or you can go eat pineapple pizza, which is even worse :)
For any hate you might have, come @ me, my block list is too short.
“Bob was like that, a real asshole when it came to reading into things. He liked to wrap things up in neat little packages that implied the world. See, Shawn, Shawn was fucked up, not the world. The world was just confused, and not the world really, the people in it. Bob was confused and more. Bob was paranoid as fuck.” - SLC Punk! (1998), dir.James Merendino