who's fault is it then?

i chose to drop literature at the end of last year because my then-teacher turned me against it. she just made it so boring, i nearly fell asleep in every single class.

this year, i went mainstream and chose english ½. but this teacher is even worse - she’s implanting her own opinions of the novel in our minds! we did a practice essay last week and she gave our entire class an average of C-D because she didn’t agree with our POVs! for mine, she even bracketed an entire passage and just wrote ‘no’. i got a D-, so clearly i wasn’t happy, nearly slapped someone’s shoulder off while trying to get through the year 12 locker area.

today was the actual SAC day. and guess what? i found out AFTER the assessment that we were supposed to use symbolism if we wanted to get high marks. um, thanks miss, for not mentioning this to us in the morning? “use TEEL, that’s all you need.” well then how come all the other classes were told to use TEEEL? i have absolutely no idea what this other E stands for!!!

i’m just grateful these essays will be cross-marked by other teachers. maybe they’ll see how we’re all being forced to agree with our teacher’s biased opinions and take pity on us. and fire her.

i feel like i complain a lot in my personal posts. but i’m really not like that in real life. it’s just that i’d rather share happy moments with my friends than with my computer screen.

life - happy moments = sad moments.


my mum’s fish gave birth to 3 little fishies.

i finished all my chemistry/most of my physics coursework.

created an instagram account.

heard Daehyun’s voice crack XD

oh yeah, and listened to glee music for the first time in two years.

and to my personal bully and insulter…生日快乐!!! now go get your Ls and stop calling me weak O.o


woot graduated on the 16th of october.

gahhhh just had my oral exam for chinese yesterday. fastest 15 minutes of my life i’m not even kidding, except i accidentally slipped a ‘sorry’ in english…please don’t deduct my marks!!! ;(

raaaaahhhhhhhhhhh final english exam in exactly one week. not exactly ready cus i focused all my energy on the oral and my english teacher is completely booked out for the whole week XD

and weeeeehhhhhhhhh it’s been less than a week but i already miss my school friends even though i’ve been away from them for much longer in the past. maybe it’s the feeling that we’ll never have that first day of a new term after holidays ever again…especially when most of us will be going to different universities :(

yep, just needed to get that off my chest. also, i finally told my naturopath my dark secret. cried for the first time in like 5 sessions O.o but i’m all good now. i think. still hate my mum though.

also, having guy issues again (x4) -__- but i’m gonna wait until the end of exams before i confront or try to sort any of them out because OMGOSH can’t a girl be friends with a guy without him falling for her??? i grew up with majority-boys so yes, i’m more comfortable hanging out with guys than girls but if this keeps happening, i will seriously never try to be more than an acquaintance to guys ever again. the hurt and guilt of having to reject close friends is just too much, and now it’s happening wayy too often as well :(

gotta catch 'em all.

i’m currently studying for physics while listening to the pokémon theme song xD


surprisingly, it’s giving me the motivation i need.

intelligence, i choose you~!

today somebody told me that

“there is no such thing as love.

when people talk about love nowadays, they are only talking about a capital S with a vertical lines through it.



i hope i’ll never believe this. the world’s losing its beauty as it is. don’t take away the only magic it has left.

drowning in family drama. patience with noisy drunk people is being tested.

lord please give me extra strength for the next few days.

giving my heart a break ☂

i’ve given myself a few days to soak up L’s dating rumours…and while i don’t consider myself a crazy fangirl, i do have to admit that it’s kinda sad how serious i’m taking this whole situation.

i guess i can sorta understand why fangirls get so depressed when their ‘oppa’ is discovered to be in a relationship. for me, having an immense, you’re-the-one-for-me celebrity crush on L was a way of relocating the embarrassingly strong feelings I had for Sandbox onto someone else, tangible or not. so for there to be no possibility/hope of imagining yourself with 'oppa’ anymore, things can get pretty gloomy in a teenage girl’s non-existent love life, especially if you’ve made a deal with yourself to remain single until graduation -__-

of course, these rumours should be taken with a grain of salt. not all netizens are sherlock holmeses/nancy drews.

no hate on the ulzzang involved here, but i have to agree with some people that she’s being just a little immature in revealing their relationship. but doesn’t she have reasons to be? L’s also been sort of a douche for denying it, if it’s true. *sigh* the jealous tweets rumour is also making me question exactly how i imagined L to be so perfectly my ideal guy.

and so i’m currently struggling to find another person to pack up and move my stupid feelings to. falling for someone at school just seems…too real. as in, it’s not like i’m looking for a relationship to be involved in. i just need someplace to harbour all my romantic feels for now. but celebrity crushes - do you really know who/what you’re falling for?

something to ponder while i sing along to the 'sad love songs’ playlist i made.

ain't it fun.

so my doctor diagnosed me with rosacea two days ago. yay. he told me to stop using the eczema cream i use to keep it under control, but i’m just really scared my left cheek will get all red and weepy again if i do :(

i’ve been on antibiotics for a few weeks now…. but about a week and a half ago, the condition got so bad that i had to go back to using my eczema cream on it. my cheek appears better now, but according to everyone i know (and the internet), i should just really stop using the cream or it’ll make it worse in the long term.

man, i just really wish i had normal skin T.T

but on another note, i was driving home last night and it was dark and raining and this minivan nearly drove right into me. he was trying to cut into the turning-right lane at the last minute and i must’ve been in his black spot because he didn’t see me and kept cutting into the lane until my dad reached over and honked for me. obviously, with the minimal experience i have with accidents, i didn’t know what to do and freaked out when i saw him trying to cut in so i just started braking really slowly like normal to avoid flinging everyone forward if i braked suddenly.

dad wasn’t very happy. the front of the mercedes got a little scratched. but thankfully, after hitting us, the other driver was nice enough to stop on the other side of the road and wait for us (the turn-right light turned red after he hit us and drove off). he admitted that it was his fault for not seeing me at all when he tried to cut in. but i still feel bad. maybe if i’d braked sooner, there wouldn’t have been a collision at all. and they were a nice old korean couple. i was so traumatized after the hit that i was crying in the car while the adults were exchanging details. awks, because the man then came over to our car and apologized to me - which made me feel even worse because i should’ve gotten out of the car as well.

so yeah, seriously, what the freak’s going on with my life?