sakuraiba skinship

I usually don’t do this but if I don’t share it, maybe I’ll quit definitely.

How can I ship a couple if rumors are that they have girlfriend?
I hate rumors and until they don’t confirm anything, I won’t trust anyone. But it hurts nee? For someone like me, who ships a couple seriously, those simple rumors can break my heart.
I’m thinking to stop of shipping my 2 OTPs, Ohmiya and Sakuraiba.
I love skinship, I love their friendship, I love seeing them happy but… For me, who ships seriously, it’s painful that that’s only their work. And I know that it’s my fault, for believing it, for continuing, for thinking that maybe there’s a chance.

But they have an age and I don’t think they need to marry someone because of that, but in their country it’s very important. Even if my hopes want to believe, all the pain that I suffer in days like today is a shit.

What should I do? I want to be true to myself and I really think that Ohmiya and Sakuraiba were or are something. But I can’t leave them without knowing the truth. What really happen between them. Then I’ll be able to stop.

All of this may be an stupidity. I’m just a teenager, I’m just following a group… But it’s so special… They are fucking special for me… They make my days, my life better, they make me smile. I can’t describe it.
I just want to stop of crying or hoping for something fake which means a lot for me. I’m sorry if I’m being so negative.

If you read all, I’m so grateful, thanks.