It’s nice to be slowly gaining back one’s strength. Sakura is slowly looking healthier as the days go by; less starved, less weakened. It’ll be a while before proper muscle returns, but being able to move about without needing to take a nap every now and again is a small victory.
With her regained energy, she’s been able to spend more time in the tavern. Maybe not as energetic as before, but now and again she makes ventures behind the bar to help handle the till, or just keep up the tidy-work while the others set to the more demanding tasks.
But still, now and again, exhaustion catches up to her. The violet-haired creature-woman can’t help but need to take a break. It’s frustrating, but can’t be helped.
And so here she is. Sitting by the counter, chipped mug of tea in hand. Her back is against the counter, and she keeps lazy watch of the tavern’s doorway and the activity within. Ram horns exposed, pointed ears, the weather’s still too cold for her to go bare-paw… But the tavern itself is warm enough to let the chameleon-tail a bit of freedom.
Quietly, she mutters to herself something about skipping ‘the next two months of recovery’.
Xerves had finally heard that Sakura had acquired a home recently, a little late due to common wanderings around the city and various other tasks. He decided that it was high time for a visit to the place, to see what was becoming of it, and to inform the Admiral that he would most likely be away from the place quite a bit (considering the fact that he was going to take it upon himself to make sure Iris ate and slept and generally kept at least some of her well-being after recent incidents). Either way, he trekked his way over there, dressed in his (as-of-recently usual) second-hand clothing, his ears taped back under the hoodie, but he used the cane he borrowed from her so that he could return it.
He found the place relatively easily, thanks to his wanderings, and knocked upon the door; he didn’t have a key quite yet, since he was a little difficult to pin down these days, couldn’t just walk in. Hopefully, someone was home. With all of the people within, at least one was bound to be, right?
Xerves had been on the streets of the Gotham for a few days now. A few claustrophobic, alien days, but he has managed so far; scrounging around for food and shelter wasn’t so bad, but he certainly missed the luxuries. A hot bath, for one; he’d been nabbing water from the faucets attached to the bigger buildings and using a can with holes in it to get washed, at least. It was like back in the old days, but this time around he didn’t have a tent and there were more than just wild animals out there; crooks, burglars, and even other homeless could have been a threat.
Speaking of luxuries, it was about time to try and get ahold of some, even if they were only around for a few days. He knew that Sakura was working at Tetch’s tea shop, and so now that he had his bearings for the surrounding area, he wanted to finally see a familiar face amongst the other, slightly-more-hostile ones. Not to mention, even if he hated to impose upon her, a roof that he could spend a night or two would be absolutely lovely. And so, he waited outside of the tea shop for some time, getting a bit of shut-eye with a blanket around his shoulders (which was, regretfully, stolen off of a drying line elsewhere in the city).
There’s really nothing like it. I mean, it’s probably one thing to just be an average person your whole life… But to have been someone big, powerful, ruling and all that? I mean, I had people know about my name months before I’d meet them, and folks would flock to me for ideas, orders, help, whatever else. I couldn’t take two steps without three people all requesting to talk to me in private, it just about became a running joke.
I never thought I’d actually miss that. Or, at least, the sense of worth that brought.
I mean, I tried (try?) to keep a level head about things and all, but I guess I’d be lying if I didn’t mention how all that can really affect your psyche. Folks would literally fall apart if I wasn’t there to keep them calm, collected, and guide them to whatever they needed to do. People looked up to me. Hell, I felt confident. “Of course you’re looking up to me, I’m fucking awesome.”
And then one day you wake up and you had all that stripped away. Now I’m just a dude. Dudette. Thing.
… I guess it isn’t so bad though, thinking about it. I mean, I did lose powers, my island, essentially my entire ‘career’, titles, authority, sense of power and being in control and all that shaz but, well, I still have family.
In a sort of terrifying, who-are-you-people kind of way. It’s weird to have family you can no longer give orders to. I mean, my job was to make sure Daine didn’t eat any of the new islanders, Doc doesn’t get too dangerously bored or unhappy, try to keep Lyos from murdering or molesting the other islanders (while he was still alive anyway), and as for everyone else, well, I was just peace-keeper. It worked out well for me, at least I thought it did, at first. I felt important. Turns out I wasn’t as on-top of things as I thought.
But yeah, for all my losses, I did gain, or well, regain family. I feel like I’m starting over from scratch, bottom down and looking up at these towering people all up above me. People that know what they’re doing, people that can only shake their head and remain unimpressed by whatever thing I’m trying to do, or just kind of awkwardly pat my head when I try. I feel about as impressive as a fish flopping out of water.
Ink-grand-dad says he’s proud of me. I imagine my mother is, too. Brings up the question though, am I proud of me?
I’m not sure. I mean, I survived, so…
So I think I can be happy for that. I survived and I didn’t get worse.
I’ll figure out how to feel important or useful again. Needed? Or something like that. More than needed. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know if I even want that again. I remember complaining about how I’d love to see a day where people didn’t need me and could just manage on their own. Careful what you wish for, right? Heh.
…Anyway, this has been a ramble, had to get it out of the system or something, I think.
The road to recovery is slow and tedious, Sakura discovers.
She’s been doing better since being found half-unconscious by Iris. Her walks have been getting longer, and her deteriorated strength is starting to come back. But she still travels the streets with the help of a cane, and not everything is as loose or flexible as it could be. Ever-anxious and impatient, she begins to worry about just how effective recovery can be, when magic stays entirely out of the mix. “Geh…”
Eventually, this worry manifests into her lingering at the front of a clinic. She squints her eyes at the door, sceptical and uneasy. She really could just turn away right now.
But then again, being so tired… So worn out all the time – it would be important to at least make sure everything is healing correctly. Who knows, maybe get a recommendation for physical therapy.
The violet-haired human gives in to a defeat sigh, and pushes her way inside. “Hello?”
It’s kind of silly, kind of insane… But then again, I guess everyone’s kind of insane to start with. We try to fit in and be like others or be normal, and somehow we all made this big secret agreement as to what normal is. And if we don’t fit into that, we’re targeted because of it. Because folks are scared, I think.
They’re scared of being wrong. And nothing’s scarier than thinking you might be wrong, especially if you’re alone on something. But you know what? I don’t think folks are as alone as we tend to think we are…
I mean, I’ve met a lot of folks, been to a lot of lands, met faces of all kinds. It kind of really boils down to just a few things, in the end, that we all kinda want. We all want someone to love us, we want to be cared for (and I mean really cared for in the sense that someone cares about you, you personally,) and we want to do something that makes other people feel happy for us. In the end, we’re all just trying to figure it out.
I think a lot of people forget that.
So back to the obsession thing, before I get sidetracked again. My kinda obsession is, well, kinda embarrassing like I said but, whatever. It’s on heroism.
I’m talking taking something bad and finding a solution for it, that kinda heroism. The kind of heroism where all that was needed is someone to stand up and make the connection, to go to that big bad and tell them what’s up, and figure out a way to fix it. The kind of heroes that fix things without having to kill, that saves everyone including the big bad himself, those heroes get a lot of shit done. That. That’s what I’m all about.
It’s hard, though… What if you’re wrong, when you’re dealing with such high stakes? One wrong move could end lives, hundreds of lives, even, or destroy things that took forever to build or make… I’ve fucked up a few times, that’s for certain. Mis-actions broke a lot of things.
And yet, I can’t really stop. I mean, sure I fucked up but, does that mean I have to look away when I see something that’s just plain wrong? I just can’t. It ain’t even an option in me, or something to consider.
When I made my island, Silverion, it used to just be a place for me and my friends to stay on. We all lost our homes, so I took it into my own hands to make us one. Home of Adventurers. Wasn’t easy leading an island of anarchists, let me tell you.
I think I learned a lot, though. The good and the bad can be found anywhere, in anyone, for one thing. Best heroes I’ve seen could be either demons or angels, worst actions I’ve seen could also come from either. When I showed up here and saw all these humans and the kind of things they do, it’s incredibly easy to file off the whole species as a plague that needs to be cleaned.
But then I had to stop and think again, think back to the first lessons I learned out in the field. Heroes can really come from anywhere, it’s what you do that counts. What you do about the messes you make, the things you hurt, every passing minute is a chance to do something different. Make it a little better, or even just a little less bad.
I think I’m gonna try it again, being a hero. I’m gonna do a bit more than I did before though; I’m gonna find out the best way to be a hero. I used to have this idea that I was the only one that actually knew how to get anything done properly, and turning my back on folks would just leave them to completely wreck everything I worked for. Maybe they did, I don’t know.
Maybe I need to put in a bit more trust in people’s spirits. Given the right inspiration, the right hope and confidence, maybe something really can be done.
Anyway, I’m gonna go see if Savira wants to try sewing something or go exploring or something now, so uh, see you or something.
How do I even finish these writing things? Oh well.