sak fifth avenue

  • Travis: I'm sorry, but uhm... we just saw your new video. Yea, they had a screening over at Saks Fifth Avenue in the security office
  • Connor: A klept-ho-maniac!
  • Michael: Your mother shops at Saks.
  • Connor: Oh my God. You want to talk about mothers? You wanna talk about mothers! It's mother time, okay! Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a Pap smear! "Something's wrong, Dr Dre! My coochie's doing a beatbox!"
  • Michael: Well yea? Your mother's so stupid she exercises when she could just get like, liposuction or something!
  • Travis: Your mother's so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this:
  • [blows powder from hand]
  • Michael: Your mother is so, like... She's so... Octavian you go
  • Octavian: Your mother is so stupid that she goes to Barney's Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch and orders a niçoise salad and calls it a 'ni-coise' salad. 'Ni-coise' salad, right?
  • Connor: Your mother's ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, "Only in America!"
Balance on the Head of a Pin*

Chapter Five

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x OFC   |   Word Count: 5080

Warnings: Smut and fluff, swearing, Loki being Loki, NSFW 18+


Standing before the mirror in the bathroom, Lauren lifted her shirt and traced her fingers over the golden image now ingrained on her flesh. It caused her to shake a little, trembled all over with how swiftly everything had changed. She’d gone from a farce of a relationship with the God of Mischief, to a deeply intense one with Loki in a heartbeat of time.

It was everything she’d thought she’d never have. She wasn’t quite sure what to do about it now that it had happened.

He was an intense individual. To suddenly become the focus of his piercing gaze was both thrilling and a bit terrifying.

Dropping her shirt, Lauren clenched her fingers into fists, setting them on the grey granite countertop.

He did things to her on a whole new level.

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