asha odekar??? what a self righteous bitch what a— [trips] [hundreds of thousands of photos of asha spill out of jacket] w-what a fucking asshole these arent mine im just [gathering them up frantically sweating] shit listen fuck im just holding them for matt just lISTEN
I want you to imagine the Saints settling humanity on New Earth, with all the contributions of highly advanced alien technology. Cities and towns and small quaint villages are set up in months. The Boss, as supreme overlord of multiple galaxies, lays down some major ground rules; Abusers of any kind, get shot. Rapists, get shot. Nazis, get shot. People who say Beyoncé is the worst- shot. And then they pass on their role as the leader of the new world, to Keith David.
They find a plot of land, stake a claim- and then take a proper spaceship this time and become true space gangsters. They take whatever Saint is willing to come (the Boss doesn’t go anywhere without Johnny, he makes clear) and they explore the known universe with the knowledge of Boss’ galactic empire. They meet (and bang) new alien species, commit crimes in vastly intricate cities, get drunk and high on white beaches with red seas and violet skies.
And when they have made the Saints known across the galaxy as puckish rogues and the toughest space gang around? The Boss returns to New Earth. They go back to that plot of land, on the cliffside overlooking a beach view to rival the Bahamas, and build a crib- and a home. The Boss, and whoever cannot see themselves living apart from them, spend their twilight years sipping beer, watching sunsets and every so often a minor drive-by accompanied by the continent’s biggest party of the year.
And they are all happy and no one else dies unless they’re old, doing something they love or look awesome doing it.
“I’ve been researching your friend Pierce, are you sure you wish to retrieve him?” “What kind of question is that?!” “An honest one. Historically you spend nearly half your time ridiculing him.” “Yeah, but it’s all in good fun!”
I think we should officially recognize Matt Miller as the most dangerous of all Saints Row villains. He is the only rival gang-leader that has successfully sent the Boss to hell and all he was trying to do was make a birthday party awesome.