Ah yes. Saints Row III. The GTA IV of the Saints Row series.
What did they do? Make a mission flowchart and then just randomly cross half of it out?
No I don’t want to take on the Syndicate. I have no fucking idea who they are. You haven’t introduced any of them yet. I have no idea who these people are or why they hate me.
Why do I suddenly have to empty half a SMG clip into someone’s head to get them to die? Their heads aren’t armored. This makes no sense.
Why is the first level of side missions expecting me to earn $150,000 in 3 minutes? Is this loading wrong? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing.
Why did you kill Gat? I’m 60% here for Gat. And you killed him almost immediately, and replaced him with an awkward nerd hacker. Who okayed that?
Why did that Return to Steelport mission last 45 minutes and feature six plot points and four giant gun fights? When was I supposed to buy ammo? And then it ends, and my crib is immediately attacked by a gang, and I’m supposed to stop timed waves of them. I have no ammo and haven’t saved in 45 minutes. Why is half the fucking game this one mission?
Why am I buying property if I auto-own it after I take the district in a mission? What’s the point?
How am I supposed to take down the Hulk monsters with carefully aimed head shots if they’re throwing payphones at me the entire time? And if they’re this hard, why do you keep attacking me with 4 of them at once?
The same people who made Saints Row 2 made this game. How did that happen?
Why did you do a joke about white women turning a black guy into a sex slave? And WHO ARE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE, why are there no cutscenes, what are we doing, why is Shaundi Trinity from The Matrix now? Why? Why? Why??