sai ing

The headstrong monk becomes Santa

GM: there’s a dwarf currently barricaded in his house, and he refuses to come out. he thinks you’re undead.

Me, Cleric (OOC): i attempt to use diplomacy for him to let us into his house, or to come with us back to the fortified docks. (rolls 12)

GM: the dwarf tells you to beat it, he won’t fall for those tricks

Monk (OOC):  I would like to scale up his house to his roof to look for his chimney.

GM: You find a very large chimney, easy for you to go down

Monk: *climbs into chimney* HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKER

Going Somewhere?

5e, party is a halfling monk, human paladin, and a dragonborn fighter. We have been pursuing the agents of a nefarious secret society in Waterdeep, and have just encountered one unexpectedly while out shopping.

DM: You see Ludvig [the guy we’re after] handing a coin purse to a back alley vendor. He’s looking around to make sure he’s not being watched. As you see him, he sees you and bolts down the street.

Monk (OOC): Hey, [DM]? Be honest with me: is this a chase sequence? City streets, back alleys, rooftops, dodging through crowds?

DM: …Yeah, why?

Monk (OOC): Is there anything especially cool that happens in this chase?

DM: Not really.

Monk (OOC): Perfect. How far away is Ludvig from me?

DM: One hundred feet.

Monk (OOC): Perfect. I’m going to save us all a half hour of dice rolling then.

Monk: I move 35 feet, use a ki point to dash another 70, and use my attack to crane kick Ludvig in the back of the knees with my full momentum. (rolls to hit, succeeds)

DM: *rolls* …Jeeeesus Christ.

DM: …I assume all of you have skinned a knee before?

Party: Yeah.

DM: The rest of the party sees nothing but a blur before Ludvig’s legs are taken out from under him as he’s running full speed. He skins his knees, his hands and arms, and his face on the cobblestone as he skids fifteen feet face-down across the pavement. He is unconscious and bleeding out.

Fighter: I guess I’m gonna go interrogate that back alley dealer.

Paladin: I guess I’m gonna go heal the villain.

although now that Fishy has brought it up, that’s an interesting idea: Old Ben gets cut down, wakes up on Tatooine. The closest town is Mos Espa and he’s short his supplies. Once inside, he finds a very familiar young face on the street…

I believe after the funeral, he went to say, “That’s it — I want nothing to do with you.” Instead of that, he says, “Take that f—ing dress off,” which just came out of his mouth, like somebody trying not to go back to their primary addiction or obsession. Then, they have sex and he starts to see his mother and his mother is basically saying, “No, just realize this isn’t love — this is obsession. And you’re not going to move forward spiritually, because you’re having sex with your sister to punish your father for killing me. So if you see women like that, you might as well be having sex with me.” That shock completely pulls him out. I think he sees the light after that.
— 

Tom Hardy on James Delaney and Zilpha.

“The nature of his relationship with his sister had more to do with obsession than genuine love.”

Fascinating interview with Tom and Steven Knight on the end of Taboo.

yo, @bigbadsnez? I went and saw ‘Logan’ tonight and hohhhhh that sweet, sweet whump and h/c. O//////O I had to check myself to make sure I wasn’t making little cooing noises out loud in the theatre. 

all that coughing. my heart was hurting for him but at the same time… <3__<3 so, so good. 

So, This happened in school on Friday.
  • Me (talking to a friend): I ship Kanera.
  • My friend: But arent they already married? You can't ship them.
  • Me: *slient then deep breath*
  • My other friend: You must be new here. You upset her OTP. RUN, ILL TRY TO BRIBE HER WITH FANFIC PROMPTS. RUN.
  • Me: I STILL SHIP THE F-ING SHIP SHIPPED SHIP HAS EVER SHIP IS THIS SHIP. NOW YOU WILL SIT AND WATCH ALL THE MOMENTS OF THIS SHIP FROM HEAVEN.
  • My Satanist Emo Friend: *whispers* Its from hell, like me.
  • Me: *spins around in rage* WHAT THE F**K DID YOU JUST F-ING SAY!
  • ....SO YEAH....