I believe in God but not so much in religion. I believe that
God is always with me and he gives me signs to do the right decision. Holding
this faith is sometimes the most challenging part of my life. To believe I am a
success before I begin is a daily test of will. Since I was young I’ve always
had these parents who always emphasized the importance of being independent. To
be no burden to anyone and solve your own problems, this value got deeply
rooted especially when money was low.
When money was low, people change, lifestyles change and in my family it always
turned into a messy affair. As child I felt their safety net, the allowance,
the always food on the table and the big birthdays. As I grew older, I saw the
fights over money and I felt a rebelling feeling rise up. Their safety net then
became a reason to control me, my cage. what I really needed was someone who
can sympathize with me and my adolescent feelings. I was obedient kid but only
to an extent when I want to question their ways that I didn’t agree with or
understood. They were busy people always working and keeping the family
Older and wiser now, I understand they were doing the best
they can with what they knew. I’m grateful for everything, even the safety net.
I now look at the safety net as a big responsibility. It means to me family and
sacrifice. Accepting this privilege is what it means to be an adult. I’m very
grateful to my mother for introducing me to the metaphysical, mystical and self-help
practices. It gave me new perspectives and alternative values to develop. It helped
me believe in something greater than myself helping me.
I believe that God works in mysterious ways. I personally think
he has a very good humor in surprising us when we least expect it. He wants us
to be happy because it makes him happy, holding his miracles from you is one of
When I made the decision to move in with my now husband, 2 years ago, it was
probably the most scariest and more liberating experiences of my life. I found
online freelancing work and it wasn’t the most stable job in the world but I
chugged on through believing in me and our future together. I have a new safety net and it’s impenetrable
one because God made it. It’s because of my faith in him, I can be bold and
I expect big surprises and new skies for me in the future.