safety-limit

Tips To Surviving Band Camp

Hey everyone! So as the school year is coming to an end, marching season is beginning. This of course means band camp! Whether you’re a rookie or a returner, it’s always nice to know what you’re getting into and have some reminders.

1. WATER! Drink LOTS of water! This is probably the most important thing. Stay hydrated, drink water every chance you get, because you’re going to be out in the hot sun on the turf all day. Most people bring those big water jugs, make sure you drink AT LEAST one of those in a day, two would be even better. Drink a lot at night too so you’re hydrated in the morning too. 

2. Sleep! You’re gonna be exhausted at the end of each day, so make sure you take care of yourself and get the sleep you need to stay healthy during camp. I know I went to my drum major’s house and fell asleep during dinner break last year XD You want to have the energy you need, which is gonna be a lot, so don’t be staying up till 1 or 2 am watching netflix if you know you have vis block at 7 am.

3. For my trans and nonbinary friends, DO NOT bind during band camp! Trust me, I am in the same boat with this one. As much as I know you want to pass, it’s not safe or healthy to bind in those conditions. You’ll restrict your breathing at a time when it matters most. I know it’s gonna suck, but your health and safety is more important.

4. Don’t blow your chops out! Sometimes you really wanna practice, or over practice, but trust me if this happens you won’t be helping yourself. You wanna be able to come to camp every day ready to play your best, and you won’t be able to do that if you over played the day before. Know you’re limits and recovery time, especially for all you lead trumpets.

5. Eat. Whether you’re in drum corps or a high school band, you all need to eat. This goes along with sleep and water, but you need the energy. If you go jazz running around the field in 100 degrees whether with no food in your stomach, you’re gonna throw up or pass out. Stay healthy and take care of your body and make sure you’re getting the nutrients and protein your body needs for an activity like this.

6. When it comes to health and safety, just know your limits. If you’re not feeling great, sit out. You director will understand. Your health always comes first. And if something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to tell someone. Also, I know a lot of people have injuries. Make sure you don’t push those. Wear the knee brace or the elbow brace, wrap your ankle, do whatever you can to help yourself and sit out if it hurts. Don’t push yourself too far.

7. Now that the health and safety stuff has been addressed, social interaction! A lot of you rookies may go in not knowing people, and I understand how scary that can be. Take it from someone who couldn’t even talk to the two girls marching next to me for the entirety of band camp, it’s so much better if you just talk to them. Talk to other freshmen, talk to your section leaders and drum majors, talk to the upperclassmen! We want to get to know you too, and we know it’s hard at first. Band camp is the beginning of a great journey and you’ll make so many friends, you have nothing to be worried about.

8. DON’T LOSE YOUR DOT SHEETS OR MUSIC!!! Seriously. If you lose them, we have to go to the band room and make copies, then you’re behind because you didn’t have all the materials. It makes it easier on everyone if you keep track of everything. It’s also good to show that you’re responsible.

9. Listen to your techs, section leaders, and drum majors. They know what they’re talking and they were put into their positions for a reason. If they tell you you need to fix something or to stop messing around, listen. They’re doing what’s best for you and the band. You learn so much from them too, take every opportunity you get when they give you tips for improvement.

10. HAVE FUN! Like I said earlier, band camp is just the beginning. Do things with your friends! Go out for lunch or dinner together, get to know everyone, have a little fun with your rehearsals. A lot of schools do games at band camp and get into it! It’s so fun to just relax and goof around with people. Do things with your section, talk to people. Just have a good time! These people are gonna become your family and give you an amazing experience.

Bonus (11). A lot of people are reblogging this and adding SUNSCREEN! I cant believe I forgot that haha but yes! Sunscreen is super important! Even if you don’t burn easily, wear it! Reapply every 1-2 hours if I’m being honest. Getting burned sucks!
the houses

 (a rather abstract description of the houses, what they could look like and things they contain)

first house: You open a giant, dark wooden door. The knob is hot as you touch it but you don’t flinch and enter a even hotter room, you immediately start sweating. The air is burning and the windows are wide open. Bright light is shining trough some kind of living room, full of possessions of the creature living there. You look around and already know who must be the owner. Still,you ask who lives there and the strong Aries enters the room, his aura is radiant, vibrant, lively, present. “I am life”, he speaks clearly. “I am energy, physical appearance,the self, the will and the doing. I show you how you approach the world and open yourself to it.” 

second house: This door is made out of silver, with blue ornaments. It looks beautiful and must be of high value. With a ‘click’ the door opens, but it really is heavy, so you got to put more effort into the act of opening it. The room is rather minimalist, but some of the furniture and paintings must be old and very expensive. The Taurus stands in front of the high windows and looks out of it, the eyes tired, even a bit melancholic. “Is there something I can do for you?”, the Taurus asked, the voice deep and kind of magnetic. “I want to know who you are”, you ask slowly. The Taurus blinks slowly and answers: “I am development, self worth and win and loss, materialistic and emotional safety, setting limits and fighting for protection.” 

third house: As you come closer to the third door you can hear people speaking. Or at least someone who is discussing something with someone. Voices come and voices go, you are wondering how many people might be in there? The door looks asymmetrical and as you enter the room you are not sure if it’s an office or plainly a full room. As you look around you see that there are radios everywhere, from old to new and each of them is turned on. So that must be the voices. Notes over notes are gathered on the floor and walls, between them some  pictures pinned to the wall of different people. Right in the middle is the Gemini, both of them talking in a heat with a coffee in the right and a pencil in the left hand, constantly taking notes. “So, you must be..?”
“The Gemini!”, one answers excited. The other one continues, more thoughtful: “We are communication, the image, the way of thinking, and -”
“..the ability to adjust, the close environment, small adventures, our neighbors as well as-” 
“Siblings!”, the other one finishes the sentence and both of them laugh, clear as a bell.

fourth house: You hold on before opening this door. It’s made out of colored, dark blue wood, the knob is glowing and the night sky is painted on the dark background. As you open the door everything seems quiet, but you hear someone humming a lullaby, quietly. The cancer sits in the middle of the darkened room, old photo albums, books and letters are gathered around her and she looks like she would fall asleep in any second. You see that this is a bedroom, filled with belongings of her and you hear the sound of the waves outside somewhere from the opened window. As you sit quietly next to her and watch her looking through the photos, she smiles softly before answering your unspoken question: “You know what I am? I am emotions and the feeling of true belonging. I am the roots of your inner being, family and home, your psychological identification, the connection of the environment and private life. I am the intimacy, age and the unconsciousness.”

fifth house: This door is not wooden. It is made out of the finest marble you could find here on earth. The knob is long and golden, a Latin phrase is written on the shimmering marble, it says ‘Ab imo pectore‘, from the bottom of my heart. You can hear music playing loudly and with an easy sweep you open the giant. You enter an atelier, the light is glowing golden and the Leo dances in the middle of it. Everything look rather antique, but with such grace and vividness, you cannot stop yourself from smiling. The sudden laugh of the Leo sounds like an imitating roar and he tip toes to his lover on the giant bed next to the window. “You are even more beautiful than my paintings, I could never capture your beauty.” As his lover smiles and takes his hands, they suddenly point in your direction and the Leo turns around, his thick hair shining in the light. “What do you want, stranger?” You answer honestly and the Leo laughs again as you want to know who he is. “I am art, your passions, creativity and individuality. The will for live, joy, children, the partner, sexuality, the wish for admiration and appreciation. “

sixth house: This door seems rather modest, but pretty as well. It seems to be quiet smaller than the rest of the doors you have seen so far. It has small little patterns carved in it. You see a note in the middle of it, it’s telling you to knock before opening and so you do as it told you. “Yes, you may come in.” You enter a cold, neatly tidied up working room, the lights are dimmed but the creature - the Virgo - in front of you is uptight, being busy doing some work - whatever it might be - but still keep a gentle smile on the lips. “Sorry, I’m in a hurry, please don’t mind the mess.” Mess she says, but you cannot even see a bit of dust on the book shelf. “Please, sit down, do you want something to drink? I cannot let you stay for a long time, but I already know what you might want to know, if you don’t mind answering you question.” Surprised you nod. “I a, work and service, as you can see. I am duty, social integration, physic healthiness, one ones limits and the limit of the others. the balance between my own needs and the ones of the environment.”

seventh house: This door is already open. You are surprised and carefully look into the room. There is a comfortable looking bedroom, its furniture is held in warm colors, there is much light shining inside since the windows are very high and there are no curtains. The Libra is walking directly towards you, a soft smile on the lips and a glass of water in the other hand. “Hey, how are you? Just passing by?” You nod and ask if you are allowed to sit down on the sofa, Libra nods and sits down with you. “Sorry, I am just, ahm-” He pauses as he notes down something in a giant book with a dark, cracked leather binding.” You blink  a few times before asking what kind of book Libra is carrying with him. “Oh this? Sometimes I need to note everything down, every person that touched me, I’ve met, you know. You learn so much by being in touch with others.” You nod, it seems right what he says. “You know, I am the development of ones own identity by meeting others. Relationships to others, the You, mental interest, contacts and meetings, harmony, joy and beauty. The partner, the person opposite as my projection surface, cooperation, socialization, coming together and working together.”

eight house: This door seems made out of stone. You are struggling to open it. Are you allowed to open it? The atmosphere is tense and you hear a vibrant sound somewhere. Next to you  in the hallway is a small window, which you look out of. There is the deep, blackness of the night sky, golden stars are adorning it, among them the white, glowing, milky moon, who whispers sweet promises and goodbyes to you. Suddenly the stone door is opening, you jump in shook and your heartbeat raises as you see red glowing eyes watching you from the dark behind it. “Hello. What do you want”, a deep, echoing voice asks you. Your hands are shaking, you are frightened and at the same time deeply hypnotized. “You are Scorpio, right?” The eyes keep on starring. “I am.” You swallow and ask if you may enter. “I am the darkness that you desire, the occult, the interest, I am passion, desire, transformation, the taboo, the darker side and death. Are you sure you want to come in?” You do not hesitate, but nod instantly. “Hmpf.” A pale hand grabs yours, the skin tone seems too pale for something living, but indeed the hand is warm and you feel oddly safe. 

ninth house: You had to climb a long spiral staircase in order to get to this room. Exhausted you breath desperately for air before realizing that you are in a giant tower. This door is slightly opened and you hear music faintly whispering in your ear. “Sorry?”, you ask as you see the Sagittarius twirling around in the room, a couple of maps in the hand. The room is full of possessions, pictures, books, paintings and different furniture from all over the world. Suddenly the Sagittarius stops, his brown eyes vividly laying on you. “Oh hi, didn’t see you there”, he says as he lays down the old maps. You remark the exciting and interesting looking room, it smells like jasmine in here. “You are the urge for more and exploration?”, you ask and the Sagittarius smiles. “I am not only that. I am your conscious mind, always growing, always developing, asking for the meaning of life. I am wanting to expand one’ philosophy, higher norms and values, abstract way of thinking, education and different cultures, explorations and the way of understanding. I am your ideal, your religious and spiritual life.”

tenth house: You knocked almost three times but no one seems to open this door. You are wondering what might happened to the person inside it. You try pushing it as you hear a stricter, cold voice: “Try ringing the bell instead.” It came out of the intercom. “Sorry, I-” 
“It’s alright, I don’t mind. Come in.” The door opens from its own and you are intimidated by the big entry. A woman with a suitcase and silky trouser suit walks towards you, the sound of her shoes echoing from the walls. “Hi, I am Capricorn, Excuse me, but I do not like this knocking, there is a bell for a reason.” You look into her grey eyes and even though her facial expressions seems hard you know she is gentle. You apologize but she laughs it off. “I have a meeting at six, and I know what you want - Virgo already called me -, so I am explaining everything now - oh, here take a seat, coffee and biscuits are here on the table.” You do as she said but are somehow a  bit too nervous to eat. “I am the development and realization of ones goals in life or even destiny. I am the public, ones image, law, order and authority. Honor, responsibility, appeal and the position you take in society.”

eleventh house: “Hi, here do I live”, the shield hanging on the door says. Sadly it does not say who “I” is. You ring the door bell and the bell ringing sounds differently than usual. It is longer and you have never heard this kind of melody as a door bell before. “Come in”, someone says quietly. The light is dimmed, and you see Aquarius in front of his Laptop on his bed. “Sorry, had no time tying up, I am trying to connect to this live broadcast of the speech from this dude here, he’s responsible for this rather extreme party and - ah, it’s not working, damn it.” He closes the Laptop and offers you a seat on his bed. “Nice to meet you, want some coffee?” He offers you a cup but takes it back immediately. “Sorry, paint water in there, not coffee, ha. Nice jacket, you come here often?” You shake your head and smile. He is funny and unusual, you like it. “Actually, I wanted to know who..” 
“I am? Well, I am the development of your goals regarding society. The zeitgeist, friends, communities, reforms, ambitions and change. Emancipation, patronage, rebellion, humanitarian and social ideals, also hopes and desires. 

twelfth house: The last door. Your journey was long but everything has an end and you know that the person behind this door knows this feeling too well - that the circle is closing, ending and repeats itself afterwards. You open the door, knowing you do not have to knock. You step into radiant, glowing, crystal blue water. The water is flowing in circles and Pisces is standing there, the softest smile on the lips, eyes so warm and understanding, the head lightly tilted. You are enchanted by the tingling sensation of the water and as you grab Pisces hands, they are warm and soft. “Do not be afraid. I am endless devotion. Endless devotion without losing ground underneath you feet. I am the other meta-level. Delusional, transparent, drawn to fleeing from fears, but always love deep inside. Come, you can visit the other realm with me now.”

case in point: “bi women have the option of dating/marrying men”

that’s not how attraction works? what are you going to do if a bi woman falls in love with a woman?

if she suppresses that attraction out of fear for her safety and instead limits herself to men are you going to claim that’s a GOOD THING for her??? you’re going to say that terror and compulsory heterosexuality are good for women if the woman has the potential to get a crush that doesn’t have that baggage?

Taken [Chapter 16]

Mafia!AU

Pairing: Suho x Reader

Warnings: Language; may have triggering situations including sexual situations, abuse, violence, etc.

Summary: You were just a normal girl. You were just trying to get by. Until a rather unfortunate relationship brought you to the hands of Suho, the leader of the greatest mafia in the country.


PrologueChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9Chapter 10
Chapter 11Chapter 12Chapter 13Chapter 14Chapter 15
Chapter 16Chapter 17Chapter 18Epilogue



Junmyeon hangs lifelessly by his chained wrists, his body littered with cuts and bruises from torture.

A chuckle bubbles from his lips. “What do you hope to accomplish by keeping me here, Luhan?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How can a man that loves a woman make bruises on her? How can a man that loves her even do such a thing? I don't wanna be hit by no man I want cuddles and kisses and love. What is wrong with women that want to be hurt or beaten? Why do they want him to hit them?? I'm trying to understand why... if he is willing to hit or beat her is he abusive? What's abuse if it's not? Should a woman be okay with this? I'm a little having trouble understanding... I was beaten as a child and never want that.

I am really glad you asked this question, and I would encourage you to examine and process my answer with an open mind.

The thing to understand about BDSM in the first place is that its an adult kink. One in which most (ALL SHOULD) engage in with complete consent and respect for each other. It doesnt always happen that way, but the base and core of the old code dictates that it should. Its much more than leather and whips and chains… its much more than some 50 shades of garbage or terribly made porno would have you believe.

Some of the key elements that go along with what we call “Impact play”, that is what you describe above in loose terms, are things I would invite you to investigate more after you have finished reading this.

Consensual Non Consent

An element in which the parameters of the relationship and the scene (or playtime) is discussed ahead of time between the individuals. Basically what it means in simple terms is that the couple agrees to what will and wont happen and ACT as if the submissive in the relationship has no say in anything, no will, gives up their power, etc. to the Dominant. This should always come with the safe word option, that is.. the word that will bring an end to the activity and cause it to immediately come back to “vanilla” (the plain common worlds way) and then aftercare and such can be administered. This usually only exists during scene play, casual encounters of playtime, and in Master/slave relationships. 

And yes it can be done the wrong way.. just as anything else in our lives and relationships can be. It can cause harm, it can cause mental and emotional damage, it can be abused… but so can anything in vanilla relationships

TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE

No two BDSM relationships are the same.Each has their own ways, rules, etc… but we all share common elements. You may also sometimes see the relationship referred to as D/s (Dominant/submissive) and with that, there are several… flavors we could call them.. of those relationships. The most extreme of which are Master/slave in which the “slave” gives up all and total rights. 

But guess what… she does this willingly and of her own consent and control. These kinds of relationships usually come with preconceived contracts at the start, and clauses within those contracts that also include safe words for extreme situations. When the submissive or slave decides to give up complete power to her Dominant she is expressing that she also has total and complete trust in this person to care for her every need, fill her every desire and give her what she needs to feel whole

What she needs to feel whole is hers and hers alone. That could be anything from a daily spanking, to being tied to the porch and left for 8 hours a day. Thats her kink. her will. her desire… and she places those things in his hands with the trust that he can then reciprocate what it takes to please her.

Kinks can stem from various things

The world of psychology, anthropology and human studies is going to tell you a lot of things in regards to why people act the way they do and like what they like.

Just because a woman enjoys being spanked, doesnt mean she likes being slapped in the face. Just because she likes being slapped in the face doesnt mean she sees it as abuse.

A good portion of littles in the DD/lg and CG/l portion of the kink are the way they are because of things that happened in the past. More often things that happened just after the last time they felt safe and innocent. This is why you will see them talk about having a little age.. or more technically, a regression age.

regression therapy has been used since as long as anyone can remember in therapy and psychology in order to get the root of certain issues in people and then expose them to be able to begin the therapeutic process. Its nothing new, and the kink side of things uses it as many things… for kink, for coping, for safety and security… like I said, no two relationships in this lifestyle are the same. No two submissives, Dominants, slaves, littles, pets, etc are the same either… even if we all share commonalities. 

Part of the kink is whats called IMPACT PLAY

IMPACT PLAY

Impact play in its most simple form is the use of physicality during scene play (playtime, sex, intimate time, etc)

This involves everything from spanking, to paddling, to flogging, slapping, objectification, and more. Basically anything that involves physical interaction in a way that isnt vanilla sex. 

But again, realize this… its something that is talked about, agreed to, worked out and planned in advance. If it isnt, that’s rape. Not to be confused with rape play, which again, is just like impact play in that its agreed upon and worked out ahead of time with safety, limits and a safeword. 

These are playtimes that involve the consent of both (or more) parties involved. And it is in no way shape or form about abuse.

The submissive asks the Dominant to do these things. And he does them because he loves her. He wants to fill her needs, he wants to see her be pleasured. And just because she derives that pleasure from taking a swat with a paddle or having hot wax poured on her… doesnt make her or the action wrong.

You might like to race cars, or eat spaghetti, or build dollhouses or whatever and if someone else doesnt get their pleasure from those things, they still dont have the right to tell you what to enjoy or how to enjoy it.

Just in the same way, no one has the right to tell her that enjoying the paddle or the saint andrews cross is wrong. Because its what she wants. Its what she consented to. Its how she copes, gets pleasure, gets the release she needs from stress of life and so on and so forth.

Taking the paddle is no different than being a quarterback in the NFL

One of the reasons a boxer becomes a boxer is because he enjoys the risk of being punched and hurt. But he also enjoys the rush and the feeling it gives him when said actions occur.

To put things in better perspective: Force = mass x acceleration

A good paddle is made of solid wood. Usually a quarter inch to half inch thick, with at least a 4 inch wide blade, and a 2 foot long paddle face. In the hands of an average built Dom, a paddle will hit the bottom of a submissive with roughly 800 lbs of force, traveling anywhere from 30 to 40 mph before strike at its most powerful swing. The bottom (depending on its size) takes a certain amount of the force and works as a shock absorb-er, rifling the waves of impact down her legs and up her spine and across her body . … and leaves considerable bruising, and gives her a full body experience she cannot get otherwise.

An NFL quarterback who is moving at a rate of about 10 mph away from his aggressor will take a tackle from a 250lb man with an impact of 1000 lbs of force at comparably 6G’s of speed. 

Why do I compare the two?

Because both are consensual. Both are risk. Both have reward. Both are known about before hand, and both are beneficial to the parties involved. Is it wrong for the quarterback to willingly step into an arena where he knows the risk of being tackled and injured by a man much larger than him exists? and without a safe word to tell him to stop.

Then why is it wrong for a consenting woman who is actually in control of her situation to do the same?

HEALTH BENEFITS

Note: This section will contain facts from scientific studies, college courses, medical journals, doctoral papers, and sports medicine. These are things that I learned from college courses and the papers and studies that went into them.


The health benefits of activities that involve placing stress on the body (like high impact excersize and extreme sports) are enormous. In the same way, a good spanking can deliver a parallel  experience to doing the Insanity workout.

Among the fact that the endorphin rush, dopamine enhancement, and feeling of accomplishment just for starters can bring, theres also the growth of cognitive functions in raising the brains awareness of the self.. which improves your executive functions or rather the higher level thinking skills you use.

the neurological growth that occurs through the changing and growth of the chemicals in the brain,  which helps to increase your focus. during high impact situations you become micro aware of your own body and what its going through, which helps to increase self awareness and get in tuned with yourself.

Improving your focus makes you concentrate, which also improves your memory. the stress of the situation makes you think faster, which improves your reasoning and reaction.

Taking a good spanking can actually improve your willpower. Scientific studies show that a persons willpower (their ability to make decisions that are better for them than others and avoid those that are harmful) is actually linked to executive function of the brain… which is improved through the growth of cognitive function… which can come from high impact play.

High impact play is also scientifically shown to reduce stress, anxiety, give you emotional resilience.. it fights (and actually can prevent) depression, increases pain tolerance, reduces fatigue, makes your brain grow (encouraging the growth of new cells), improves mood and happiness, improves sleep, boosts productivity, reduces addictive behaviors, and overall improves, enhances and grows just about every positive aspect of your life. 

AND IF ALL THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU THINK…

Then let me hand it over to some older submissives and littles that I asked about the subject. Because really, when you need an answer on something… get the facts from the source. So i surveyed 7 older submissives with great experience and here is what they told me:


Submissive female 1: “For me its cathartic, it gives me the ability to release whatever stress or shitty thing thats going on in my life. Its being able to place myself into the hands of someone who knows and loves me, and allow them to take everything that I can give, and give me everything that they can too. Its not about the pain, its about the growth of each person I think. It makes me feel strong. It makes me know I’m strong even when I feel like I’m not. D/s gives me security. It makes me feel at home. It helps me to know that I’ll be okay because I have someone who will help me be ok.

the impact part, thats where it becomes more than just a physical thing. Its a mental thing too. its a spiritual thing. It connects me with someone deeply… and it gets me off.”

Submissive female 2: “ In the above scenario, if a man is hitting a woman and it is not part of a negotiated,  consensual scene it is abuse. This woman clearly is not interested in engaging in impact play, and therefore her partner should respect that.  In regards to her attitude, other people do things within their relationships that don’t make sense to others and would not work for them. For instance, I have a girl-friend who goes to the hospital for medical procedures alone. Even major surgeries. She doesn’t want her husband there. I can’t imagine going to have an organ removed from my body or a bone set with out my s-o there to support me. However, this is their preference and it works for them. I can’t tell them its wrong and I shouldn’t judge it because it isn’t my relationship, no one is being harmed, and both partners are happy.

In the case of sexual relation ships and consensual kink the same principle applies.they are both consenting, both happy with the situation, and no one is harmed or had their consent violated as a part of the experience, it is up to the individuals involved to determine if its right or wrong.

Submissive female 3: In my case its a turn that comes with an extreme amount of trust in the person doing the hitting. I need it for control in my life but to others it might be something different. It isnt abuse if both parties are in agreement of each others limits and the key word should look for is CONSENT for BOTH  parties involved.

Why would you put bruises or marks on me? Think about it.

Personally I would feel owned if you marked me in that way… Sure you could just slap a ring on it and call it a day but marking is more intimate and means more to people receiving and giving the marks”

Submissive female 4: “If both adults consent than its not abuse. Like so many others, I have been abused physically, sexually, and psychologically… to this end I cannot abide verbal degradation or closed fists swinging in anger.

That said, on the days I am feeling numb, chaotic mentally, the lashes of physical pain give me something to focus on. When attempting meditation one uses mental exercises or recites a phrase. there are times in my life when that is effective. For days its not, physical pain gives me something which to start my focus so that my mind can follow suit once I hit that sub space.”  

Submissive female 5: “Love doesnt have to physically hurt. However, the some people enjoy the contrasting sensations of pain and pleasure as they are opposites and heighten the senses. It would have to be in the confines of safe, sane and consensual with open communication and explicit direction as to what is and is not acceptable in their dynamic.

There are multiple ways to both give and receive love (as seen in the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman) and no one way is correct for every person and people can have multiple love languages. However, love should not be fear based out of physical attacks”

Submissive female 6: “i think its about the difference. Just like how theres a difference between spanking a child and abuse. It should never be done out of anger but rather to give a reminder to not break the rules.

When its done for the pleasure of the one being hit, it should still never be done out of anger. The sub has some control with the use of limits and safe words that would not exist in an abusive situation.

there are a lot of reasons why pain can be pleasurable. it is a reminder of your endurance, it provides a special warm and tingly sensation that is unique, and a spanking can send a vibration down through the body that touches on other sensitive areas. 

i also like the sore feeling after a workout because it makes me feel strong and tough. plus the after care is so calming and affirming.”

Submissive female 7: “For me the purple bruises are beautiful reminders of my time with my Sir. I enjoy the spanks and hits to my ass and tits. i crave them from time to time. They are releases for me. Not punishments.

To me its not abuse because we have that trust and communication. The hits actually put me in a place where I dont think, but feel. it lets you just feel”


Notice the trends? consent… strength… thinking… feeling… trust… 

Hopefully this has shed some insight on the topic and given you a better perspective on the lifestyle and the way impact play is treated and regarded. 

“If he was a...” : Kyungsoo

Originally posted by tokyo-inn

if he was a month…: he’d be October. mysterious, alluring, fun. the peak of the fall season. 

if he was a day…: he’d be Thursday. this day is correlated to making decisions, positivity and self-assurance. 

if he was a planet…: he’d be Saturn. related to safety, limitations, discipline, determination and goal-orientation. 

if he was a god/goddess...: he’d be Themis, goddess of divine order, natural law and custom. 

if he was a sea animal…: he’d be a turtle. wise, graceful. indicates longevity, endurance, persistence and the continuation of life against all odds. 

if he was a piece of furniture...: he’d be a bookshelf. full of hidden knowledge, quiet, pulls the whole room together. 

if he was a gemstone…: he’d be Kyanite. a calming stone said to quiet the mind and dissolve emotional or spiritual confusion. 

if he was a flower…: he’d be an Aster. represents elegance, patience,and  daintiness.

if he was a natural phenomenon/weather…: he’d be thunder. strong, powerful. loud and deep. 

if he was a color…: he’d be dark blue. represents wisdom, loyalty, confidence, intelligence. provides a calming effect. 

if he was a feeling or emotion…: he’d be contentness. an emotion you feel while not overly ecstatic yet not unhappy. the perfect middle ground. at peace. 

if he was a fruit…: he’d be grapes. refreshing, small, evolving. 

if he was an element…:  he’d be Earth. strong, forgiving, nurturing.

if he was a place...: he’d be a library. spacious, quiet. comforting, quaint and safe.

if he was a taste...: he’d be bitter, like espresso or dark roast coffee. 

if he was a scent…: he’d be mahogany. dark, smokey, masculine and delicious. 

if he was a body part…: he’d be the biggest, most beautiful pair of eyes. always careful, sharp and searching for more. 

if he was a pair of shoes…: he’d be classic, black converse. sturdy, reliable and looks good with everything. 

Top Ten Things That Are Not Impressive For Action Characters
  1. Sticking the landing . All this does is jack up joints. Collapse and roll. Hit the ground with the largest surface area possible.
  2. Headshots . You sound like bragging gamers.
  3. “One shot, one kill.” Same as above. Aim for center mass and unload until they stop moving.
  4. Disabling shots . Depending on the time period, you’re either consigning them to a lifetime of nerve damage and pain or a slow death from infection. Also, injured people can still fight back.
  5. Anything with a flip . Telegraphing your moves and taking several extra seconds to get it done just allows the other fighter time to block.
  6. Throwing people . Unless you’re literally trying to get some space for an escape or a ranged weapon, why did you throw them? It takes a ton of effort and now they’re all the way over there.
  7. Prolonged fights . Most brawls are over in seconds. Seconds. Competition fights last longer because there are safety limits and controls in place.
  8. Ignoring backup . Congratulations on your ‘does not play well with others’ sticker.
  9. Overly complicated weapons . Different weapons were developed to take advantage of specific conditions, be they environmental, tactical, or weaknesses in your opponent’s situation. Picking the wrong one because it looks cooler just puts you at a steep disadvantage.
  10. Basically anything overcomplicated . Climbing in top floor windows when you could walk in the service entrance. Fighting through twelve guards when you could poison someone’s dinner. Training in eight martial arts styles when a pillow over the face will get them just as dead. It’s not really that impressive to make more work for yourself.

purekate88  asked:

Hi can you(or anyone who's reading this)please do a masterpost about self defense for the disabled I think it would really help alot of people

Hey there! I found a whole bunch of self defense videos pertaining to this subject, but not any websites or posts on Tumblr with helpful information. Possibly I wasn’t looking in the right place- I encourage my followers to please add more resources if you have them!

Crutches

Bully Crutch Self Defense

The Flying Crutch Knee

Knife Defense

Self Defense While on Crutches

Wheelchair

Aikido

Aikido (2)

Break Fall + Chair Flip

Bus Stop Safety (for those with limited hand movement)

Choke Defense

Don’t Get Thrown From the Chair

Fightability

Striking Techniques

The Three C’s

Walking Cane

Cane Self Defense Techniques

Fighting With a Walking Cane

Self Defense Techniques

Target Areas

Walking Stick Self Defense

titoramus  asked:

Why does everyone hate the NRA? Did I miss something? Did they say something intolerant?


My “problem” with the NRA is that they want everyone to be able to get their hands on a gun, any time, with zero safeguards. They oppose any attempt to limit the sale of guns (including to mentally ill people), and they oppose background checks, and common sense limits.

In a perfect world, where no mental illness exists, or where boyfriends and/or girlfriends never break up, where people never cheat on their spouses, or any other emotional trauma occurs, I could (possibly) agree. Sadly, we don’t live in a world like that. Stuff happens, and people flip out. Too many want to grab a gun and hurt others. Waiting periods, background checks, registration, and safety courses could help limit that.

When you want a drivers license, you have to take a test to show you can operate a motor vehicle safely. Why not with a gun? You have to take a road test to demonstrate the same? Why not a gun safety course? You have to register your car every year (two years in some places). Why not your gun?

I’m not talking about taking away guns from everyone, or keeping everyone from buying guns (though the NRA dog whistlers who read this will start baying about it). I believe in the Second Amendment. I served in the US Army. Even before that, I was taught to use a gun safely. If I want to go out and buy a gun, I should be allowed to. But, as I said, after some common sense laws to protect me and everyone else.

10

GAME OF THRONES: SEASON 7, EPISODE 6

Winter is coming. All men must die. And Game of Thrones is back! Stay tuned each week as we unpack Sunday’s episodes through masterpieces.

Winter is definitely here (finally).

A fireplace crackles to conversations of bravery, while a band of warriors heads beyond the limits of safety to search for the dead. The enmity between sisters grows, reaching a fever pitch with the discovery that one wears many faces and has become quite a formidable assassin.

Returning to the snow-covered lands beyond the wall, the dead are everywhere—first in the form of a savage zombie polar bear, then as a handful of the walking dead, before the full force of wights and walkers surround and outnumber the search party. Lesson: don’t taunt the dead.

Flaming swords and dragon glass take down the enemy, one at a time, until the Deus ex machina of dragons arrive, sending many to the bottom of the frozen lake or obliterating them by fire. But the king of death strikes a fatal blow into one of the fire-breathing serpents.

With cold hands, a half-dead uncle returns to save a stranded hero, before succumbing to a pile of reanimated skeletons. In a chilling final sequence, the fallen dragon is resurrected as an ice weapon of mass destruction.


This week’s wildcard images of death, dragons, and masks come from the National Museum of Ireland, the Milwaukee Art Museum, The Morgan Library & Museum, the British Library (and here and here), the Museo Nacional del Prado, the Bibliothèque nationale de Paris, the Musée Condé at Chantilly, and the Koninklijke Bibliotheek in the Netherlands.

Dive deeper with featurettes connecting the history of the Middle Ages to the making of fantasy TV.

Just A Little Help | Part 2 |

Hi! I finally finished it! God, it took me so long to do so. I usually write before I got to bed, but I figured that I should finish it now because I already had the ending planned out. Should I make a part 3 where the tell Gemma and Michal? I need suggestions, so please feel free to drop me an ask! Also, sorry for any mistakes!

Enjoy!

+

The overall seriousness in his voice and Gemma’s despairing facial expression made you extremely concerned about their issue. The small smile on your face faded.

“Yeah, ok… let me go wake Harry. You two can head to the lounge if you want.” You imparted before slipping out.

As you walked up the stairs, you had begun to get more curious about what they wanted to talk about. What could be so important that they had to come over at such short notice?

“H? Love?” You whispered as you reach the inside of your bedroom. “Harry, wake up.” You said slightly louder, walking over to him.

He moaned quietly in response.

“Harry? Gemma and Michal are here.” You cooed and ran your hand threw his soft hair.

“Tell ‘em I’m busy…” Harry groaned sleepily. His eyes were still closed as he tried to snuggle closer into the the blanket.

“I think it’s important.” You said in a hushed voice and stretched your hand out for him to take.

Harry sighed. He took your hand and allowed you to help him up. He quickly slipped into his slippers before following you out of the room, down the stairs, and into the living room.

As soon as you entered the room, you heard sniffling and almost inaudible reassured ‘it’s okay’s.

“Hey, hey. What’s the matter, Gem?” Harry gushed, walking quickly towards his sister. You rushed behind him and rubbed her back as Harry hugged her tightly.

Gemma stayed quiet for a moment as she wiped away a few tears. “Why don’t you two have a seat first?”

You and Harry looked at each other confused. You shrugged at him and afterwards you both sat down.

“There’s really no way to ask this, Y/n. I’ve known you for nearly ten years and you’re one of the very few people I could confide in for this favor.” Gemma paused for a moment before continuing, “A few days ago, we found out that we’re incompatible to conceive together. I have major tube blockage, and our doctor says that we have a few options: we could adopt or we could find someone to carry my egg and his sperm. We just want to know if you’d consider being our surrogate.”

You were dumbfounded to say the least. You had absolutely not been expecting this. At all.

Your blankly confused face had begun to scare Gemma and Michal.

“I… I don’t know.” You managed to get out.

“You don’t have to do it. We understand if you don’t. We just wanted to ask before we look into adoption.”

“I think we should talk about this together thoroughly first. Then, we can give you an answer.” Harry piped in.

You nodded, finally having processed it.

Gemma and Michal had left not long after.

Harry plopped down on your shared king-sized bed after patiently finishing his nightly routine and he successfully tucked all three kids in.

You, on the other hand, had been procrastinating from the moment Gemma and Michal had left, to now. You thought about it immensely, weighing all the pros and cons you could think of. This was a very tough decision to make, but it would determine a couple’s entire future.

Two very important people in your life.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Harry drawled, pulling the duvet over his legs. He sat up with his back against the headboard and his right hand reaching for yours.

“I think so,” you cleared your voice, “I thought about it a lot. I mean, I think I’m getting a little old, don’t you? But she’s much older than me, she’s already reached past the safety limit. Even if she could have children she would not only be putting her baby’s life in danger, but her own.” You looked at him unsure.

Harry nodded. He didn’t quite know what to say, but he wanted to make sure you knew he understood.

“Do you think I should do it?” You raised an eyebrow.

“As her brother, I think it would be amazing if you could give her and her husband the most beautiful gift of life. But as your husband, I don’t necessarily think this is the best idea because we have a daughter and two toddlers to look after, and this would only bring you more stress.” He spoke profoundly. He gave your hand tight squeeze. “This is completely up to you, though. You know I’ll always support your decision.”

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him. “Maybe I should sleep on it for now.”

Harry hummed, agreeing. “I love you.” He said, kissing your lips before fully lying in bed.

“I love you, too.” You replied. Finally turning the lamp on your bedside table off, and crawling in next to Harry.

It was very early in the morning when you woke up. The sun had not yet set, so you decided that you would go downstairs to the front porch and watch it rise with a warm cup of tea.

You sat up carefully in bed, cautious not to wake Harry. Once you got out, you slipped into one of Harry’s jumpers that he left on the floor next to his unclaimed side of the bed. You shook you head and scolded his sleeping frame. You figured you’d yell at him later.

You made slow and quiet steps down the hall to check on Amelia first, then the twins who were all still asleep and well in each of their beds. Afterwards, you set off to the kitchen to make a small cup of tea and bring it outside with you.

It was slightly chilly outside, but the warmth of Harry’s jumper was enough to keep you content for the next few moments. You snuggled closer to it as you sat comfortably on the porch swing and drank your tea. Birds chirping and the wind blowing was nearly all you heard.

You had been out there for a while, sipping on tea and watching the sun finally rise completely. You hadn’t even noticed the sound of the front door opening until it was slowly closing and the cushion you were sitting on had dipped.

You swung your head around to catch Harry settling down beside you. He had a pair of custom made pajama bottoms with “Styles” perfectly knit on the left side, and an old band tee that he had gotten the hang of using to sleep. You noticed he had a baby monitor in one of his hands.

“Thought you’d be out here.” He said while wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “'Woke up just now and you weren’t in bed.”

You hummed in response and snuggled into his warm side.

“It’s a bit cold out here, don’t you think?” He asked, smiling down at you. Harry grazed his hand along your naked arm. It was cold, and goosebumps could be felt. Even though it wasn’t a long while, you had been quiet ever since he had stepped outside. He frowned before asking, “what are you thinking?” You seemed to be really deep in thought.

“I… I think I want to do it.” You replied.

“What do you mean?” He began rubbing your arm after placing the baby monitor he had held, in between his legs.

“I think I want to be to be Gem’s surrogate.” You answered a little more confident.

Almost immediately, he stopped his movements. “What? Are you sure?” He stuttered. He seemed to be somewhere between happy and a bit concerned.

“Of course, I am. It’s going to be so wonderful to help them with their dream of being parents. Even if it’s just a little help.” You grinned, holding onto his hand.

“A little help?” He grinned back, “baby, you’re *giving* them their dream of being parents. It’s so amazing of you to do this.” Harry embraced you in his arms and held you tightly. “I think I love you even more, if it’s possible.”

Sorry for my inactivity

I’m getting pretty busy with my studies at university plus I managed to get an 8 hour/week part time job at my university (as a Chemistry Laboratory Safety Assistant), further limiting my available time. If you’re interested in my life + chemistry stuff, I have a personal blog as well where I document that stuff: @shychemist

I will still continue blogging, but my activity on most days will probably be similar to what this blog has looked like over these past few days.

Chances are I’ll miss some of the exciting scientific discoveries being shared. So I’d appreciate people tagging me in posts/submitting to the blog. :)

It doesn’t even have to be articles. If you’ve written an accurate scientific post on tumblr, I’d be happy to share it here too.

Anyways, thanks for being patient.

anonymous asked:

hi phoenix, what where the specific "questionably dealt with BDSM themes" in that blogger's fics? and how would one deal with them correctly in a fic? thanks so much xx

Sorry this sat in my inbox for awhile, I had to actually go re-read her stories and send some friends in for a second opinion so I could really operationalize what it is about her fics I find upsetting or poorly done. Also, just to clarify, this is not criticism at all on her writing or anything. I would never criticize another content creator just on the quality of their writing, this is about the way she continues to perpetuate misconceptions about gay men and about BDSM through her fic. 

My issues: 

1. under negotiated/not at all negotiated kink. The characters technically consent, but there’s very little discussion about limits, boundaries, preferences, etc. The sex just starts, but then it will go into kink territory with no clear indication that either partner made a decision to play/do a scene. There were mentions of a safe word, but only Louis (the sub, of course, apparently Harry doesn’t have one…? Because she thinks doms don’t need one…?) seemed to have one and even then it wasn’t taken seriously, he was like, being a brat and said “don’t make me use my safe word,” as a joke or something like that which is very…yikes. No discussion of deciding on a safe work together, no discussion of what might warrant using it….nothing. 

2.No aftercare at all. Literally….none. No aftercare. No check-ins after the scene, no discussion of needs having been met, no mention of sub-space leaving Louis in such a way he might need to be taken care of. Practicing BDSM without aftercare is irresponsible at best, abuse at worse. 

3.The power dynamics don’t read like BDSM, they read like heterosexual power dynamics imposed onto lgbtq sex. In some ways, reading her fic is a lot like reading vanilla straight sex with scary power differentials. Like there’s very little about it that reads true to real BDSM or kink scenes/dynamics, so the power exchange seems like it exists because of something systematic, like gender or like the A/B/O verse, where topping/bottoming stems from biology (or the heteropatriarchy). So Harry is the dom simply because he’s in charge,  not because they have a negotiated D/S dynamic or relationship of anything. And Louis is a whiney brat who needs to be punished, so he’s the sub? And dom=topping and sub=bottoming? Drawing those lines period are already make queer sex seem less queer, so add the weird systematic power thing and it straight up reads like straight sex. 

Overall, I think it can be summed up with ALARMINGLY POOR COMMUNICATION. BDSM REQUIRES EXPLICIT COMMUNICATION BEFORE AND AFTER A SCENE! About limits, safety, boundaries, and aftercare. You don’t have to have your characters discuss these things in depth within the body of the story, but good BDSM fic makes it clear that these discussions HAVE happened off screen, or allude to an existing dynamic/routine that indicates an understanding of their necessity. Without these things, you’re not writing BDSM, you’re writing abuse! 

2

Republic of Estonia is home to the longest ice road in Europe, connecting Estonian mainland with the second largest island, Hiiumaa (26.5 km long). All in all Estonia has 7 ice roads, mainly used for connecting bigger islands with Estonian mainland (or with each other).

The Estonian Road Administration is responsible for managing ice roads. An ice road may be opened when ice thickness is at least 22 cm (8.7 in) along the entire route. 

They’re not dangerous as the roads are checked and there are a lot of safety measures that must be followed to ensure everyone’s safety, such as:

  • Weight limit depending on conditions, mostly 2 t to 2.5 t
  • Vehicles travelling in the same direction must be at least 250 m (820 ft) apart.
  • Recommended travelling speeds are under 25 km/h (16 mph) or between 40–70 km/h (25–43 mph). It is advised to avoid the range of 25 and 40 km/h (16 and 25 mph) due to danger of creating resonance in the ice layer (i.e. vehicle speed and water wave speed being the same or nearly, resulting in a large wave under the ice that breaks the ice).
  • Seat belts must not be fastened due to danger of drowning if the ice breaks.
  • The vehicle must not be stopped.
  • Vehicles are allowed to enter the ice road in three-minute intervals.
  • Ice roads may only be used in daylight.

anonymous asked:

Why do you hate the quadrants?

I don’t think the quadrant system benefits the people using it. Instead, I think it’s a tool of the Empire designed to shape individuals’ desire to connect and interact and love into a tame, compartmentalized form. In a culture where friendship is a “disease” and trolls are expected to automatically distrust each other, quadrants serve as a safety valve that limit a troll’s personal trusted network to only 5 people or so. How do you build a large-scale rebellion when trolls don’t want to turn their backs to anyone but their quadrants? The answer: they never did. The Signless tried to preach the gospel of a politically potent love that went beyond quadrants, but it never caught on and the Condesce was never overthrown except by the destruction of her planet.

On a more micro-level I think trolls, like everyone else, have the ability to feel a massive variety of emotions, and the custom of splitting those emotions off from each other is pointless and painful. Plenty of surviving troll characters in Homestuck don’t feel strictly in the quadrant system: Karkat dates Dave in the human way, and I’m pretty sure none of the quadrants fully encompass the way Terezi is in love with Vriska. Even among the trolls who didn’t have the time and proximity to move away from the quadrant system, there were excessive amounts of flipping and vacillation–and Karkat confirms that that’s a common cultural trope. Hussie even said early on that figuring out what quadrant young trolls are attracted to each other in is a real pain in the ass for a lot of them. People can talk all day about how trolls feel romance differently, but in the end I think they’re not that different from humans, and the idea of such a specialized monogamous where the feelings can’t mix without it being infidelity or indecency feels like a terrible idea.