safety humor

The gang’s chilling at the malt shop, as per usual. The Mystery Machine sits out front, minding its own business.

Oh noes, the bad guy appears!

He stretches out his spectacularly-long arms.

Ha, joke’s on you, bad guy! Freddy keeps the Mystery Machine locked, like any wise owner of a–

…oh.

I, uh….

Well, then.

…the real villain of this episode isn’t Mr. Hyde after all.

It’s unsafe van security practices.

Ladies and Gents

When you’re roaming the streets alone at night…

And it looks like Something Finna Pop Off…

Make Sure you have something to protect yourself,
Like a Collapsible Umbrella for Example…

It takes the Situation from 100 to 0… 

Real Quick

Like those Captain America PSAs in Spider-man: Homecoming, imagine Robbie Reyes doing PSAs for driving and seatbelt safety.

“Wear a seatbelt every time you drive or there’s a good chance you will die in the event of a car crash. If you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, you might just end up selling your soul to the devil to be a puppet for a fiery vengeance demon to murder with for all eternity. And I can tell you kids from experience, that’s not cool. So be cool, and buckle up.”

BUT, DOCTOR!

Author: stilinskisparkles

Summary: “We had to splint a girl’s leg in a ditch,” Scott says excitedly.

“Bro, you sound way too happy about that,” Stiles complains, opening up his bag and pulling out a Twinkie.

Derek removes it from his hand silently and replaces it with an apple. Stiles scowls at him for a second then bites into it, regardless. Derek sits back and lets the group discuss the merits of dramatic lifesaving feats for winning over the ladies. Scott is convinced it’ll help impress Allison; Isaac thinks Scott’s a loser. Stiles—

Stiles is falling asleep on Derek’s shoulder.

Info: 30k | Mature

Notes: It was so lovely! Fluffy, funny and VERY happy making. I love how Amy writes, I love her Stiles and Derek and every other character. And hospital au, PERFECTION. Also Jackson was a lawyer :D - K.

Sneak Peek:

Sleep well?” Allison asks brightly.

“I did,” Isaac drawls, “And then was rudely awoken this morning by Stiles praying. Loudly. Repeatedly.”

“I’m very devout,” Stiles sniffs.

“Yeah, to Derek’s dick apparently.”

“Dude,” Scott scrunches up his nose at Isaac, waves his spoon at his bowl, “I’m eating.”

youtube

Best airline safety video ever.

THERE MUST BE BETTER WAYS

Author: skoosiepants

Summary: This is totally unfair. This crush has been terrible but manageable; he hardly ever saw Derek outside of the occasional diner run-in and all the summer BBQs, and Derek always looks like being in any public setting is excruciating—his broody scowls are devastating enough, now he gets to imagine him happy.

Is it possible to die from unrequited love and pining?

Or-

Derek the fireman keeps saving Stiles from himself.

Info: 4k | Teen | Firefighter!Derek

Notes: Let me just say, Isaac won this one! There is a kitten, fireman!Derek, actually a whole fire squad and Isaac being awesome bitching brother :D It was fluffy and happy making, so all the kudos for that! Also there like only a few lines about some characters like Kira or Sheriff, but I loved them for saying a few words, so great characterizations! -K

Sneak Peek:

But Stiles is slightly irrational where Vanny is concerned, and that’s how Isaac got him two and a half stories up in the blistering hot sun, and how he was frantic enough to miss Isaac yoinking his ladder away.

“What is wrong with you?” Stiles shouts down at him.

Isaac ignores him, stores the ladder back in the garage, and then hops into Stiles’s jeep and drives away. The tires screech as he peels out. Stiles is going to destroy him when he gets down from there. There’s going to be motherfucking carnage, and see if Stiles ever makes his lasagna for Isaac ever again.