safe the world

Things I Didn’t Know Were Symptoms of C-PTSD
  • Getting overwhelmed in crowds
  • Getting upset or angry at a loud alarm
  • Ordinary nightmares (that have nothing to do with the circumstances, just stupid nightmares much more often than the average person)
  • Getting sharp pains in your back/neck/collarbones that make it hard to breathe (due to hypervigilance/constant high anxiety)
  • Learning that “high anxiety” does not mean “generalized anxiety” like other people have with panic attacks and not feeling that they can accomplish thing. PTSD anxiety just means this frenetic energy that makes you want to talk/think/do things (even as an introvert) to avoid stopping.
  • Feeling constantly bored like you have to chase after something, even if you’re just at home: I spend hours on tumblr, pinterest, watching tv, reading books, making art, never just laying there alone…because if you stop…the darkness is there
  • Thinking up stories before bed. This is a symptom of high anxiety because you’re trying to calm down and fall asleep in a “safe world” where people are looking out for you and caring for you.
  • Trouble falling asleep (which is distinct from insomnia) because turning off electronics etc. doesn’t help since your heartrate/fight or flight response is engaged
  • Periods of racing heart (mine has gotten to 120bpm for five hours) that make you feel like you’re waiting for something to happen
  • Exaggerated startle response. When I was a kid I used to hide behind corners to surprise my sisters. Two years ago my friend hid under my desk to scare me. I literally screamed, fell out of the chair, and started crying. She was laughing because she thought the joke went well, and then got concerned because I kept crying.
  • Purposefully “tanking” a bad day with sad music/tv/movies/books because it “was already ruined anyway”

Calls with Daddy: After a Busy Schedule

*Finally calling after not being able to because Daddy was busy moving and stuff*

Daddy: Hi princess!

Me: DADDY!!

Daddy: Hi baby!

Me: I MISSED YOU!!!

Daddy: Hmm… Did you???

Me: YES!!!

Daddy: I dunno baby, maybe you didn’t

Me: I DID!!!

Daddy: I don’t think so

Me: YESSS!!!!!!

Daddy: I guess I will just leave because my baby girl didn’t miss meeeeeeee

Me: *gasps* DADDY NOO YOU CAN’T LEAVE!!!

Daddy: *gasps* Why is that princess?

Me: That would be a breach in the contract!!

Daddy: What contract is that, little one?

Me: The verbal agreement to which you are not to leave me!

Daddy: Umhm, and what are the punishments?

Me: … The office is closed. We will find these files later

Daddy: Oh? So I can leave until the office opens?

Me: No!! Then I will sue you for emotional distress in Little Court!!

Daddy: We would not go to Little Court, as the stuffie jury would just go in favor of you

Me: *huffs* Then I will take you to Daddy Court with the coffee cup jury!

Me: Umhm, and you’re suing me for what?

Me: Emotional distress, as it’s bad for the baby.

Daddy: …Uh… what baby??

Me: I’m the baby!!

Daddy: *tries very hard to not crack up* is that so??

Me: Yes that is so.

Daddy: *laughs* I guess I’ll have to stay then!

Me: Good, because I missed you.

Daddy: I missed you too, princess

Me: *giggles* I love you!!!

Daddy: I love you too!

Daddy trying to sleep
  • Me: thinking all the girls in the world might try and steal my Daddy
  • Me: "I wanna be your favourite girl Daddy"
  • Daddy: eyes slowly open
  • Me: "Daddy! I wanna be your favourite girl!"
  • Daddy: "yes. you are my only babygirl"
  • Me: "yay! Thank you Daddy! You can go Ni Ni now"
  • Daddy: "Good Girl" falls straight back to sleep
  • Me: thinking how great Daddy is and how awesome validation is when you're a clingy little
6

riverdale show + archie comic characters 

Our story is about a town; a small town and the people who live in the town. From a distance, it presents itself like so many other small towns all over the world…safe, decent, innocent. Get closer though and you start seeing the shadows underneath. The name of our town is “Riverdale”.