safe never sleeps

Guys I just realized WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN THERES AN ACTUAL REVEAL. LIKE WE ALL HAVE SO MANY GUESSES AND FANFICTIONS AT THIS POINT. AND LATER INTO THE SHOW, ONE OF THESE MAY COME TRUE AND THATS GOING TO BE FINAL.

#WYLL IS SUCH A BAE#AND SUCH A GOOD JACK HARKNESS#AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN’T EXPRESSED MY ENDLESS LOVE FOR THIS DUDE NEARLY ENOUGH#BECAUSE WYLL IS FUCKIN GRAND AND YOU ARE MISSIN THE FUCK OUT IF YOU’RE NOT FOLLOWING HIM

#l OO K YOU DON’T EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE WYLL AND HIS MUSES OKAY HE IS SO WONDERFUL FIGHT ME

( g UYS WHY. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT. WHY DO YOU LIE TO PEOPLE. WHY ARE YOU SO GREAT. w HY ARE YOU SUCH PERFECT BEINGS. OMFG. YOU. ARE. THE. LIGHT. OF. MY. LIFE. OKAY?! )

2

meditation

I do my best to keep my demons out of my bed. Most nights, I find myself sharing sheets with them nonetheless.

They come in different shapes and sizes, but most often they take the form of memories. Memories of the city; memories of people I’ve lost… Memories I don’t want to have, but that I’m afraid of losing.

I’ve never felt safe sleeping. My blaster under my pillow, clenched teeth, shaking hands, eyes squeezed shut; there’s a portrait of my nights.

The silence is the worst part. Flinching at every sound, even coming from myself, but praying for white noise regardless. The way the quiet wraps its fingers around my throat and engulfs me, it’s deafening.

Often I lie awake, listening to the sound of my two friends breathing. It helps, knowing they’re there.

But I can’t always keep the memories away. No, they follow me. They rest on my shoulders, here to stay.

They’re part of me, and I can’t run from myself.