safe community

Tumblr culture is such a weird mix of intimate and public, safely communal and completely exposed to trolls.

It’s like having a really intense therapy session where, at any point, your therapist might suddenly be replaced by Rush Limbaugh.

you are still a valid little if you:

• have tattoos or body piercings
• smoke / drink / use
• embrace your sexuality
• didn’t have a troubled childhood
• still live with your parents
• are overweight / underweight
• drink from a regular glass
• don’t wear diapers / pull-ups
• don’t wear onesies or footie pajamas
• dislike using pacifiers
• prefer showers over baths
• would rather collect books instead of stuffed animals
• think glitter is too messy to keep around
• pink or blue ( or rainbow ) isn’t your color
• find coloring / crafts boring 
• find cartoons or disney movies non-entertaining
• don’t eat sweets
• dislike chicken nuggets / fruit snacks / macaroni & cheese
• dislike juices or milk
• prefer actual children over animals
• have kids / are pregnant
• need space / alone time
• have a mental disorder ( not only anxiety & depression )
• have a physical disability
• are a member of the lgbtq+ community
• don’t have a caregiver
• & more…

you are too unique to fall under a stereotype perfectly so don’t worry about your body type, regressors, or whether you’re a “real little” or not, you are valid no matter the situation. there are no rules to “little” - all you need is yourself to get lost in the feeling.

Please don't attack young witches!

So many of these young girls and boys are trying desperately hard to understand and use difficult concepts in their daily life. We have to encourage exploration! If they use a term incorrectly, politely correct them and explain what they may have been trying to use! We need to foster growth! I’ve seen too many witches and pagans alike jumping down the throats of young kids who are accidentally being “offensive”. Please remember what it was like when you first started. Remember trying to find your footing.

I was thinking about Jon Ronson’s book about public shaming and about recent debates about political tactics and something came together:

When making arguments about ethics, white men consistently ignore power as a lens of analysis. For many of them, actions are either right or wrong regardless of power differentials between the people involved, the stakes for those with less power, and the options they have available to them.

Protesting to have Milo disinvited from your campus therefore becomes *just as bad* as Milo’s own actions towards marginalized people, despite the vast disparities in harm done and options available. (This is not a strawman. When y'all say, “This makes you just as bad as them,” that’s literally what you’re saying.) That Milo’s talk, as planned, would’ve caused serious, measurable, and irreparable harm to specific students, and that protesters had exhausted all “proper” channels for months beforehand, doesn’t seem to matter in this analysis.

All that matters is the specific action taken. “Preventing a person from speaking.” “Destroying property.” “Public shaming.” These actions are seen as unethical regardless of who did them and why, what consequences they face if they do not take these actions, and what other options–if any–they have available.

I keep coming back to MLK’s quote about riots being the language of the unheard. For the most part, people resort to tactics that fall into ethical grey areas because other tactics are unavailable or have already failed. I’m sure that there are people who do so despite having better options, just as there are always people who act unethically in other ways.

But unfortunately, for an outside observer with no skin in the game, it’s very hard to tell whether or not that’s the case. I saw so many posts patronizingly chiding Berkeley students for not trying other tactics before protesting and/or destroying property (although most did not destroy property, and the oft-used phrase “violent protest” implies much more than that). They had no idea of the lengths to which the protesters went to utilize “appropriate” means to keep themselves and their community safe. It didn’t work. They remained unheard.

Any ethics that ignores the role of power will privilege the powerful. Our Republican members of Congress don’t need to riot, set fires, and block the streets in order to get what they want. They do appropriate, ethical things like draft policies and have debates and vote. Because they have the power to. The specific actions they take–drafting policies, debating, voting–are not seen as inherently unethical things to do. Yet they’ve destroyed lives, families, and communities. They’ve achieved a level of destruction that even the rowdiest masked protesters never could, not that they’d want to.

theotherarmorer  asked:

Let me get this straight. You don't see an issue in using violence to counter an opposing viewpoint. You advocate people concealing their identities during your protests. And it's all deemed acceptable because you name your opposition fascists.

The only sentence you got right was “let me get this straight.”  Oh, wait, you didn’t use a colon to end that sentence, so that one wasn’t right, either!

1) Advocating for and organizing for racist genocide isn’t an “opposing viewpoint.”  It’s not even a valid opinion.  It’s a historically & scientifically-discredited belief that is common to the beginning of every genocide in human history.  

2) We don’t advocate for people concealing their identities during protests.  We advocate for people to take reasonable precautions to protect themselves and their families, which for some people includes concealing their identities. This is because we’re countering fascists - people whose belief system tells them that violence is the preferred way to do politics.  Otherwise, we know fascists will dox, harass, threaten, and murder us.  Just today, a 16-year-old Girl Scout who stood with an anti-racist banner has had to seek police protection because of the death/rape threats she’s received from the fascists she stood up to.

We’d be willing to bet cash money that you have never, ever written to the KKK to criticize them on the same point.  You’ll give an actual terrorist group that’s murdered thousands a free pass for concealing their identity, yet you get all apoplectic when people opposing violent, racist scum conceal their identities.   

3)  Yeah, it’s acceptable to oppose and confront fascists and fascism by any means necessary, because that’s what it takes to keep our communities safe.  We’ve have nearly a century of evidence to show what happens when you don’t oppose fascists.   

You know, theotherarmorer, it’s fucking hilarious that you’re writing to us on Victory Day - the day we mark the military victory over fascism in WW2.  Maybe you’ve heard about that war?  The fascist war that claimed the lives of over 50 million people?  This is the day you decide to claim that using violence to stop fascism isn’t acceptable?  Were you trying to be ironic or did you just get lucky with the date today?

If you think that fascism = “an opposing viewpoint” and shouldn’t be met with violence, go pick on some WW2 vets. Or Holocaust survivors.

☆kid activity ideas☆

these are the things i usually do when regressed !

  • listen to disney or kid music
  • take a bubble bath
  • paint your nails 
  • make slime or kinetic sand
  • bake cookies
  • make hot chocolate or tea
  • play dress up
  • draw or color
  • watch cartoons or movies
  • cuddle up with a blanket
  • take a long nap
  • read a kids book
  • windowshop / online shop
  • make a fairy garden
  • plant some bee friendly plants
  • place on some temporary tattoos
  • play online games
  • play pretend with your toys

anonymous asked:

i like your blog but you post to many black goths. imho they just dont look right.

They look just as beautiful as any white goths and they have the right to express themselves and exist in this space as much as anyone else.

I’ve said this before but I’ll repeat since it needs to be said:

There is no right skin colour to be goth. Period. Goth is a composite of multiple things and appearance is just one fraction of all that. Skin colour, hair colour, make-up style, gender, and whatnot do not define whether you can be goth or not, and no way is the “right” way to have them.

The pale red-lipped and black-haired girl dressed in all black might be the stereotype of a goth but that is a very shallow and one-sided representation of the people in the community. How many of us actually fit into that stereotype? How many of us strive to look like that because if we don’t, we will get told we don’t look right? Goth has since its beginning featured many ethnicities, and there is nothing weird about non-white goths in the subculture. Research information and photos of the English goth scene in the 80s. There are loads of non-white goths absolutely rocking the original look (not to mention creating other forms of gothy art like alternative music). The main reason it “doesn’t look right” to you is because the stereotype is so strong and over-represented in gothic imagery. But we all know stereotypes can be terribly, terribly wrong, which leads to this kind of racism (yes, that’s what this is).

There are many gothic styles I personally don’t like, but it is not my place to tell those people that I don’t think they look good. I wouldn’t want them telling me that, so why would I do that to others? And I’m talking about styles that someone chooses to wear, so can you even imagine hearing it about something you cannot choose like skin colour? I understand that it is your personal preference and your opinion but is it necessary to bring it up when all it will do is discourage people from being a part of a community they feel they belong to? There’s a ton of people outside the subculture whose ignorance can make being a goth difficult, we shouldn’t be doing that to each other within the subculture too.

Some goths are black, some goths are Asian, some goths wear hijabs, some goths keep their natural hair, the list goes on. And they all look gorgeous and have as much right to express themselves in the subculture as white goths. In reality the subculture is extremely diverse but there is so much gate-keeping from goths who think that you need to look like X and listen to Y that we end up only seeing a glimpse of it all. That shouldn’t be, and as corny as it sounds, we should try to create a comfortable, safe community instead of one that shuns people out because they do not fit a stereotype.

The non-white goths aren’t going anywhere from my blog, they belong there as much as any white goth, classic horror heroine or Addams Family member.

Hello Queers of Tumblr!

My name is Rami, my pronouns are he/him/his, and I’m a student at the University of Chicago. I’m currently working on a study for a sociology class about the way young members of the lgbt+ community across the globe have used tumblr not only as a social media, but also as a space to support and care for one another.

I remember how much this website was able to support me as I was coming out and trying to figure out my gender/sexual identity: Having support from everyone on this site literally changed my life. 

If you feel like the same is true for you, Please reach out! Reblog this post, send me a direct message, share this around: the more people who are aware of/can contribute to my research the better!

Important note: I will not reveal any information about you, your blog name, your location - I promise that this whole experience will keep you totally anonymous and safe. 

Passive agressive reminder

That not all teachers are good adults.

Some of them are abusive.
Some of them enjoy picking on students, mostly young girls.
Some of them also tease young boys.
Some of them are threatening.
Some of them are creeps.
Some of them will use your grades to get what they want.

Please be safe, tell someone you trust if something happens to be out of your boundaries and/or threatens your integrity.

You matter. Your crush matters. But please DO NOT ALLOW ANYTHING ILLEGAL OR UNPLEASANT.

How to: Do Automatic Writing

You’ll Need:

A pen


(Optionally) A candle

(Optionally) salt

An Explanation:Automatic Writing is when you let an spirit/entity take a hold of your hand and move it to write, scribble, draw and communicate. It’s a (usually) safe way to communicate with spirits, as long as you stay calm and don’t let fear take over. 

A Fair Warning: 

Fear is food for spirits. Feed them, and they’ll get stronger. Stay serene. Automatic writing takes practice and might not work on the first try.

How to:

If you want to be very safe, surround yourself with a circle of salt.

A lot of people prefer to do automatic writing in the nude, however, you do whatever makes you comfortable.

Spirits like to come out at night, so you might be more successful then.
Now, to the actual writing.

Light a candle (preferably new and black for protection, but white’ll do) near where you’ll be sitting.
Sit comfortably. Some people prefer to do so half laying back.
Take your pen in whichever hand you want (maybe best in the hand you’re not predominant in? Since you body will have less control over the writing in that case.). Place it on the blank page.
Close your eyes. Enter a meditative state. Calm your mind. Let go of all thoughts and just breathe.
Relax your arm entirely so that you have no muscular control over it.
If your hand starts writing, let it do so. Don’t open your eyes. Don’t try and see what they wrote, what they drew, anything. Eyes closed, relax.
If you feel yourself starting to take control of your hand, let go of the pen and wait until you’ve relinquished all hold on the arm that’s writing.
Don’t try and understand, interpret or control. Let it flow.
Once you feel that it is over, open your eyes, put the pen away, thank the spirit, say goodbye, turn the candle off, throw it away and then, you may look at what was written.
By candle light, no danger should come. If you feel unsafe or that something “evil” or “bad” has taken a hold of your arm (and it frightens you), just request help from beings of light to protect you, or that your guides come and help you. 
If you want to communicate with a particular person, you may try by having an image of them or an object that belonged to them with you, but it’s a bit like chatroulette, you could get anyone from anywhere. And they might not even know how to write or speak your language, Remember that.


Samhain is coming up! It’s a great time to get into spirit work, channeling and such. The veil between our worlds are thinner.

Some writers have been said to write entire books through this method. And some have had lengthy conversations with spirits this way (once you’re good enough, you can keep you eyes open and ask questions.)
Either way, stay safe. Have fun, and share your experiences with me!