sad-end

do you forget that sometimes i like you?
the words come a little easier every time.
“no.”
a silence that lingers longer than smoke
“i remember. what’s on your mind?
let it out.”

and this question will be in a loop forever
“how does it make you feel?”
“i feel that i am starting to get closer and closer with you everyday that i talk to you.
how does that make you feel?”

and we’ll dance around these issues a little longer, won’t we?
“it makes me feel good, but then sad”
and it’ll end some day, won’t it?
“sad… because we can’t truly be happy
because i can’t have you and you can’t have me.”

unfortunately the poem doesn’t end with a happy ending
“…yes.
—  7:45 pm - 7:49 pm
At the End of Us

I met love at the end of your smile 
When you kissed me and stopped for a second to smile

I met sadness at the end of your goodbye 
When you told me that I need to let you go

I met happiness at the end of your touch
When you held me all night and whispered how much you loved me

I met my broken heart at the end of your absence When I missed you so much but you were nowhere to be found

I met kindness at the end of your words
When you tolerated my messiness, and my chaos

I met loneliness at the end of your coldness
When you left without a proper goodbye

I met blue at the end of your eyes
When the color of your eyes became my favorite color

I met the Moon at the end of the worlds
When the Moon became my healer

And I met the unconditional love at the end of us When I kept loving you no matter how much you hurt my soul

So we get a lot of Tater consoling and taking care of Kent and I love it. But I’m imagining Tater being the biggest, whiniest baby you’ve ever seen when he gets so much as a cold.

His throat starts feeling scratchy and he’s ingesting Emergen-C at a frankly alarming rate, gargling saltwater, turning the bathroom into a sauna with the taps running as hot as they will go and not letting Kent anywhere near him.

He’ll play through it, of course. He still plays through games and practices because he’s not dying, but as soon as he gets home he’s concocting every homemade remedy he’s ever learned. Kent is extremely alarmed the first time he catches him taking a shot of vodka and pepper at 8 in the morning to clear his sinuses (because apparently that’s a thing).

So Kent starts making him soup and cleaning up used tissues and tucking his huge boyfriend into bed and refilling the humidifier. All while humoring the whining and grumbling and ignoring Tater’s pleading to stay away from him while he’s sick. And he’s happy to do it. He’s obviously not happy that his boyfriend isn’t feeling well (even if he’s exasperated because he’s pretty sure it’s an extremely mild cold and he thinks Tater is overreacting), but Kent’s happy because he gets to be the one playing patient caretaker. And he knows it’s not an even trade-off, for how many times Tater has had to put up with his shit, but he’ll keep trying like hell anyway to hopefully one day make it even.

So yeah. Basically I want to see some of Kent taking care of Tater.