I tried my best, this isn’t edited oops:)
Requested by: @letsstarsfalling
It had been years since you and Shawn had first got together, yet those butterflies from when you were a teenager still linger in your stomach, Shawn truly was the one for you, you two were the perfect match, but someone lit a flame and everything went up into smoke.
You knew the consequences of serving your country, you knew there was always a chance you would never come home, you could handle it but Shawn couldn’t.
He couldn’t see why you were so desperate to save people, if others could risk their lives to protect the ones they loved why wouldn’t you? It was your duty after all.
When you were called back to go fight in Iraq Shawn didn’t speak to you, maybe it was out of anger or possibly fear but in the weeks leading up to your reparture he only spoke to you when you had to say goodbye, leaving him was your first mistake, not telling him how much he meant to you was your second.
“You’re seriously going?.” Shawn asked, while you drove to the airport. It was clear he was hurt by this, you could see it on his face. But you needed to go and serve your country and save people. It’s your job.
“What do you expect me to do Shawn?” You sighed, an argument was bound to happen soon, this wasn’t the way you wanted to leave things
CHOOSE ME!“ He screamed, the anger in his voice made you jump, Though he wasn’t angry, he was distraught. There was a chance you would never return home and that scared Shawn more than anything.
You did the only thing you could in that moment, you
wrapped your arms around him and he hugged back tightly. His head flew to your shoulder in hopes of being closer to you, and maybe just maybe you wouldn’t leave him. You ran your hands through his curly hair, You placed a chaste kiss upon his forehead and prayed to god that you never had to loose this boy.
That day at the airport was the last time you saw Shawn for 7 months, the worst 7 months of both your lives.
When you and your team didn’t respond back to the calls your commander knew something was wrong, you had been gone for far too long and it never registered in her mind that you could’ve been dead, you weren’t though. But nobody knew that, they didn’t Know where you were or if you were okay. They had no choice but to declare you missing in action and leave it at that.
Shawn was the first person to be told, two tall broad men knocked on the door of his condo, Shawn opened the door with a kind smile, not knowing he would Receive the worst news of his life. But he wasn’t alone, Karen manny and Aaliyah had come to visit Shawn, they could hear the conversation and Shawn’s blood curtling scream, it wasn’t an angry scream, more of a plea for help. At first he thought it to be a sick joke, but nobody was laughing. Tears fell from his eyes and found Home on his hardwood floors, the floors you picked out..
Nobody spoke. it was so silent you could hear a pin drop, the silence was eating him from the inside out. But he had nothing to say. Tears fell from his eyes like waterfalls. Yet he had no energy to stop them.
The words played on a continuous loop inside his mind, mocking him. Making him into a fool.
“Y/n L/n never came back to camp. We spent a fortnight looking for her and the rest of the missing soldiers. There was no sign of them anywhere. I’m sorry to announce but she is MIA.”
He wanted to scream, to shout and to cry. But he didn’t.
It felt as though he world had drained him of everything, leaving nothing but a broken heart behind.
“is y/n ever gonna come home?” aaliyah’s worried voice rang in Shawn’s ears. If his heart wasn’t already broken he swore he heard it crack.
He wanted to say yes, he wanted to believe that She would come home to him. Fuck, he wanted that more than anything but he knew the chances of her still being Alive were slim to none, but he didn’t want to lie to Aaliyah either.
“We don’t know love. All we can do is pray and hope for the best.” Karen’s voice piped up. Rubbing her hands along Aaliyah’s back, they were worried. Not only for y/n’s safety but for Shawn’s sanity.
Time ticked by and people stopped wondering if y/n was ever coming back and started moving on with their lives, the only people who wouldn’t were the ones who desperately wanted too. Months had past but Shawn never thought of anything other than his lover. He went to bed every night without her and awoke without her.
Everyday was the same draining cycle. Until one day it ended.
Shawn had been on tour for 2 weeks, it had been a good distraction so far, it was your 5 year anniversary and Shawn wanted to give a big speech about how much he missed you. Tonight was not only special because of that but because you finally came home, Karen manny and Aaliyah greeted you at the airport with tears and hugs, Aaliyah didn’t want to leg go of you, Incase you left again but that wouldn’t happen. Your commander had granted you leave, you would never have to be put into that danger ever again.
It felt so good being home, but you missed Shawn more than anything, you would finally be with him again after so long.
The plan was simple, you would wait backstage for Shawn and when he was done his set you would surprise him. The thought of being in Shawn’s Arms again made all the time apart worth it.
Though Shawn has no idea you were safe and okay, his day so far had been painfully slow. The same old routine, he ate, showered and rehearsed. Put on a few fake smiles and shared some fakes laughs, thought about you and went to sleep. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take.
“You alright man?” Geoff asked Shawn, as he helped him with his mic, knowing it was your 5 year anniversary he didn’t want to sadden Shawn with too many questions.
Shawn replied with his usual fake smile. “Yeah I’m fine. Just nervous about tonight.”
Geoff pat Shawn on the back, bringing him into a short hug. Shawn wanted to fucking cry, he needed a hug so badly yet nobody once offered to hold the sad boy.
“Go out and do her proud.”
Cheers erupted when Shawn stepped out on stage, he gave a smile smile and looked around, all these people were here to see him. That made his heart swell.
He looked up to the sky and smiled, hoping that wherever y/n was that she was safe and happy. Silent tears made their way from Shawn’s tired eyes gliding down his cheeks and wetting the fabric of his favourite dress shirt. The one she loved so much.
“Hey guys! I need to ask for silence-thank you! I just wanted to say thank you for coming out it means the world to me that you all support me even after all this time, as most of you know today marks 5 years that I’ve been with my beautiful girlfriend Y/N. unfortunately she can’t make it tonight because she’s MIA. Although she isn’t physically with me she will Always be a past of me. So I dedicate my first song "never be alone.” To her.“ Shawn paused and looked up to the sky. "Baby where ever you are just know I’ve never stopped loving you. I adore you with my entire soul. I love you more than words can anything.”
a series of awhs and “I love yous” echoed through the gigantic arena, and for the first time since he lost y/n Shawn smiled a genuine smile.
Not knowing you were backstage crying your heart out into Karen, you were just so happy to see him again. You were terrified of loosing Shawn, he was your everything. You’d go crazy without him.
Time seemed to be ticking away slowly, each minute longer than the last. Shawn was so close you could smell him, that familiar scent you loved so much mixed with sweat and emotion.
Once he finished the last song he handed his guitar uncaringly to Geoff and walked into his dressing room.
He picked up a picture of you while you were in Paris last summer. He ran his finger over the photograph, it held so much meaning to him. He Hugged the picture frame so tight. “Wouldn’t you rather hug the real deal?” An oh- so familiar voice said.
Shawn thought he was going crazy, there was absolutely no way you could be here talking to him, though he wished you were. Arms wrapping around him pulled him from his thoughts, his eyes widened and his heart started beating like mad.
“y-y-y/n? Shawn stuttered, he could barely speak, so he did what he always did when words failed him, he Hugged the shit out of you.
You were both sobbing messes, Shawn had placed his head in the crook of your neck, his sweaty hair tickled you and you giggled like a school girl. You forgot how much you had missed Shawn’s warm embrace.
"I missed you so fucking much please never do that to me ever again, I wouldn’t be able to live without you.” Shawn choked out, his eyes were red and puffy but you knew he was crying happy tears.