sableellen94

Bullshit lies

He wont hold your hand or even think to think of you in public. The words may slip out, they might find out. He will never buy you flowers, or kiss you on the cheek because he’s afraid someone might see. Its stupid to play this game, a game you don’t like. Everything’s a secret that you’re really bad at keeping. I’ll laugh if you think he will ever get close enough to say I love you…he doesn’t even love himself. Just the pleasure he gets, thats all he’ll love. And if you don’t let go, or if you don’t move on you’ll never find a love who can say “You’re my first choice”.

Sometimes your best friend can be your best end, you’ll be okay again. So keep wandering until you find yourself, you’re not lost I promise. You just have to be your own hero for a little while…

I love you?

I deserve more than the words “I love you.”

I deserved to be desired, 

I deserve to be touched,

I deserve to be happy,

I deserve unquestioning love,

I deserve to be looked at not like I am a part of this world but THE world

I deserve more than what I deserve…

and unwavering assurance that this is real,

because I believe this is something that I will find.

Maybe, if I just close my eyes…

Maybe. But here, now, someday,

My eyes remain open, because 

I deserve more than the words “I love you”

My eyes remain open because I have not found what we all search to find, crave, and desperately desire…

We as women must search… must ask the questions we don’t necessarily want to ask, like views on marriage, or the idea of kids, or the label of a relationship god forbid. Because its what the majority wants, but push aside to appease someone who “could” be the one…Girl, he is not the one.

We must weed our way through sad excesses only to believe that we are sad excesses. To pick ourselves up, time and time again, to cry and then fix it with make up so our frowns don’t show. To hide our true-selves from those who may be deserving of us only to be in constant fear of being let down.

The story is the same, the characters just change.

I deserve more than the words “I love you.” 

Because, Don’t I and Don’t You?

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What happens when kind strangers tip their servers…This honestly melts my heart that there are actually selfless people in the world, If I could do this for a living (Not tipping the servers, tipping everyone who needs the help) I would in a heartbeat. - SableEllen94 

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