Sometimes I stumble across a Yongseo video on YouTube or something and I’m filled with the urge to rewatch their ENTIRE season all over again but then I realize I shouldn’t because if I do they’ll totally consume my life until I watch every episode again. They were so great. Seriously, does anyone feel my pain? There should be a special season of We Got Married, where they have couples on from previous seasons and invite Yongseo on it. They should call it We Got ReMarried. 💌💌
honestly, what sold me on yongseo being real is not living in the same villa, the matching bracelets, music bank interaction, etc.(which i love all!) but the fact that the only night yonghwa repeated “i think love came to me” after jonghyun during love light was the same night that seohyun attended for cnblue’s concert. i mean, who else could he have said that for? it felt like such an adlib, like all of a sudden he said those words while looking up quickly where seohyun was sitting. it was such a cute and shy moment.. gahh
Confessions of a Goguma: Making Wishes on Dandelions
I’ve been asked many times if Dillia is my real name. It isn’t.
“Why Dillia?” is the question that almost always follows"
There are a few times I’ve been close to telling how my Pseudonym came to be. Yet I never could tell. It’s like Pandora’s Box, don’t look to open it because you might not end up liking what you find.
In truth, Dillia is the combination of the four things that always come to mind when I think of Yongseo: First love, Dandelions, Wishes, and Juniel’s Illa
In Yongseo’s final episode when Seohyun is asked if she knows the difference between liking someone and being in love she answers.
“Liking someone is like when a dandelion seed lightly lands on the ground. It’s soft and makes you happy. Loving someone is like when that dandelion seed grows roots into the ground and then flowers. A dandelion seed can lightly come and go, right? But in order for it to flower, you have to water it, block it from the wind, and treasure it dearly. That’s what I think.”
It sounds beautiful doesn’t it? It’s a deep response and very telling of the path she traveled. Love is not easy she seemed to say. It takes time and a lot of hard work so that love doesn’t die but thrive. Yet her comparison always bothered me.
Why a Dandelion of all the flowers that exist?
Superficially it sounds striking, magical even. The girl who once naively asked “What’s the difference between liking someone and being in love with someone?” seemed to not only have a deep understanding of it but seemed to have experienced it firsthand. How else could she have come up with such an introspective, borderline philosophical answer? Those of us who have gotten to know Seohyun through her interviews, music, and show stints, and have seen her grow from a girl to the young lady she is now, know she’s not one to carelessly throw out words even for a “fake show”. Though initially, I questioned if those were her own words, it was only through the passage of time that I came to accept that they were.
So why did she choose to compare her understanding of love in that moment in time to a meekly dandelion? It’s just a common weed – a wild flower. Any other more beautiful flower could have sufficed. They all run the same course, the seed is planted, and they grow, flower, wither and die. That’s the course of all things.
However, what bothered me the most about her comparison wasn’t that she had compared her possible first love to a weed. It was that in doing so, I felt that it provided an ominous fate for it. It was a silly sentiment that I could never quite shake away.
To understand my over sentimentality and why her comparison of love to a dandelion bothered me so much, I first sought to understand why she’d chosen the dandelion. When I found a possible answer, I was momentarily amazed by the thoroughness and meaning to her words. To explain better, I have to start at the end of the life of a dandelion. When the flower has run its course and the seeds are dispersed into the air by the wind; where the seeds will land nobody knows for sure until the seed starts growing and flourishing. A wild flower can propagate anywhere. It’s the wind that ultimately dictates where the seeds land and it is fate that chooses who it brings together in life. You can’t see fate, you can’t see the wind, but they both play similar roles.
Yongseo is in essence a dandelion.
Yongseo is that common wild flower of first love that grew when the seeds were dispersed by the wind. Yongseo is the story of a first love that came to be, by bringing two people with nothing in common together. Fate, wind, destiny, whatever you choose to call it played its course.
Seohyun seemingly expressed her realization that love is not a fairy tale that just happens. Love takes time, work, dedication, trials and tribulation if it’s to grow. That’s the difference between liking and loving. There are instances one might think to be in love, but upon closer reflection, one finds this to not be the case. Ironically nature also alludes to this by producing false dandelions, flowers that by all accounts look like dandelions but on close inspection are not.
Dandelions are fantastical memories of my childhood. I spent many summer afternoons exploring the grassy grounds of parks and fields searching for them. “Pluck a dandelion, close your eyes, blow the seeds, and make a wish” I was told.
In my teens the notion became romanticized and wishes changed from childish things to aspirations of having feelings of crushes reciprocated or involving whatever teen angst I was feeling
“Never say your wish out loud or it won’t come true. “ I was often warned, whether blowing out birthday candles, making wishes on dandelions or just daily wishes. It was a warning I quickly learned to heed despite my logical thinking. It turned out that whenever I expressed a wish out loud, it apparently never came true.
I’ve always questioned reasoning. Why do things have to be a certain way or follow a certain structure? I can’t explain how my mind works it just questions everything I’m told. Even as a child, I found it irrational to be making wishes on dandelions. Nevertheless, the want to believe in some sort of unexplainable magic won over. It was during one of my bouts of questioning why it was that wishes couldn’t be spoken out loud that I started thinking further. If wishes had to be kept silent for them to come true, then what happened to nightmares or fears? They were unpleasantries I tended to never to speak of.
Did the reasoning behind wishes also hold true for unspoken fears?
When I first asked my mother that very same question she didn’t respond. After what seemed to be an eternity to the impatient, panicking child me, she finally spoke.
“Always speak of your nightmares and say your fears out loud so that they don’t come true” she said.
As absurd as it might sound, it was reasoning that embedded at the core of who I became
Wishes stay silent, but fears are said out loud
Everything relating to the story of Yongseo was reminiscent of a first love story. In truth Yongseo was a whole connotation of first love related experiences for both Seohyun and Yonghwa. Together these first experiences were precisely the appeal. Young charming semi experienced guy guiding, the naïve inexperienced girl on “how to love” and together facing many firsts with charm and rawness. As We Got Married Host, Kim Na Young, put it during Yongseo’s final episode in regards to Yonghwa
“How does [Seohyun] forget that kind of man?”
If the feelings Yongseo exchanged during WGM were real, or even if Yong only prodded feelings merely resembling first love, it’s safe to say that Yonghwa was very possibly, Seohyun’s first love.
First love is a term I’ve always had contradictory feelings about whenever someone says I want them to be my first love or that person was my first love. Some hold fond memories of their first love, while for others, even as time has serendipitously passed, the memories of heartbreak from a first love remain.
When someone speaks of a current first love in their present time, I see it as an ill-omened sign of what will be. The problem lies with the under text of the word first. To be the first usually implies that it is not a permanent love and others will surely follow. When someone says I want to be their first love, or he is my first love, I find it to be a bittersweet statement because in most cases they will not be the last love
So when Seohyun said her analogy of the difference between liking someone and loving someone, it felt like she was in the moment and speaking of a possible first love. She had acquired the knowledge she’d been seeking at the start of the Yongseo story. Yongseo provided a debatable but noticeable change in her character that she herself acknowledged Yonghwa to be responsible for and sincerely thanked him for. He In consequence, undoubtedly marked Seohyun’s “real story”
It was at the “end” of Yongseo’s stint that she melancholically expressed her lesson learned. That liking someone was like when the winds carries the dandelion seeds and they touch the ground. Liking someone is the beginning. For the dandelion to grow, for like to become love, there is a lot of work that must be applied so that that love becomes precious and grows.
In retrospect, initially, I believed that what bothered me about Seohyun using the Dandelion of all flowers, was the connotations of wishes I held to dandelions. Her dandelion parallel was the personification of Seohyun expressing her wish in regards to her first love. The problem was, She’d said her wish out loud.
Upon further analysis, I realized that that was only half my problem with her analogy. The second part was the life cycle of the dandelion. While other flowers, grow, flower, wither and ultimately have a permanent death. Dandelions were ironically, the best representation of a first love: they grow, flower, and then close up to seemingly wither away. However, when you think the end is permanent, they open up again producing new seeds for a new wild flower to grow. Wind, fate, destiny begins a new course for a new beginning, a new wild flower, or a new love to grow. It was then that I realized why I found a sad, gloomy sub context to her analogy.
“Because first love is beautiful, a first love is a flower
Blooming widely when spring comes dazzling like a flower
Like a young child, a first love is inexperienced
Because you can’t unconditionally give and take love …..
Seeing as a first love is painful, a first love is like a fever
Because after you are mindlessly sick, you become an adult
Because a first love can never be,
A first love is lingering attachment
Because you can’t have it since you loved too much
Illa Illa Illa, Illa Illa Illa, Illa Illa Illa,
my love, good-bye”
The very first time I heard Juniel’s Illa, I was reminded of a flower. I was reminded of Yongseo. Every word, ever underlying meaning took me back to Seohyun’s Dandelion analogy and Illa became the embodiment of my fear for Yongseo. That is, if Yongseo was real, Illa could be the outcome of their story,
“Illa is a phrase for word that really can’t be expressed, you can tell from the lyric there’s that one flower, a wild flower from the streets named ‘Illa’. The song tells when u see that wild flower from a street it can bring you the memories of feeling when u look at your first love. So you can say that the meaning of “Illa Illa” is a feeling from first love.”- Juniel
No matter how many times I listen to Illa or read other people’s interpretation of what the word itself meant, nothing could take away the imagery that I attached to it. For me, the chorus of Illa Illa Illa became the wind, the fate that changes everything.
Therefore because I associated, First love, Dandelions, Wishes, and Illa to Yongseo, I did what I was told to do. Say my fears out loud.
Dillia is my fear spoken out loud of an ominous end to Yongseo
Wishes are kept silent, Fears are spoken out loud.
There were gossips that YongSeo was planning to go on honeymoon on their last day in WGM. A couple days before their last recording, both of them attended Korean Music Wave in Bangkok (held on 12 March 2011) so they got to discuss where they should travel to. But both of them didn’t want to keep it as memory of a trip. So they decided to reenact their first meeting as their last memories. Did that imply “the new beginning of YongSeo"?
Balloons popped out of his car and Yonghwa gave Seohyun a bouquet of flowers shyly, saying “please accept my heart". Then hand her the pink guitar she had wanted as a gift. (Yongseonarak added she saw the version with Jap sub and when picking up guitar he told Hyun to “Read it (the secret letter until now) when you get in the car.“)
However you look at it, this is a proposal, don’t you think? It’s Korean norm obviously. (Yongseonarak heard that Koreans tend to propose by putting balloons in their trunks and giving a bouquet of flowers to lovers.)
Yonghwa said he prepared all the details for the event himself. The gossip states that in that moment Yonghwa pulled Seohyun in to hug for a brief moment. A lot were cut off. How unfortunate.
As for Yonghwa, they chose you to be in husband-wife relationship but in order to help Seohyun, who has never been in a relationship, to adapt, you chose to be would-be-married couple instead. And when you had to part ways, you still gave her flowers. Yonghwa, you always did against what WGM planned you to do. (laugh)
In the car, Seohyun looked at the letter many times. They always revealed what were written in those letters but not the last time. In my opinion, Yonghwa might write her something private. How I wish I could know what was written there. Seohyun grabbed it tightly until they parted ways. It must be something that made her happy.
Yonghwa said that he wanted to give her a ride to university, to meet her parents. Then Seohyun revealed that her parents thought of him like their son. Could it be that he already met her parents?
Then Yonghwa asked how many gogumas he’s got. Seohyun answered “Hmm…10 gogumas”, making Yong cheek-bursting.
Yonghwa even said that she can still call him “Yong choding" but it was cut off (NG-not good) probably because it was the last day so they were supposed to talk something forward/in the future. (My 2 cent: to make the flow of their spell come to conclusion)
Yonghwa said during that time “now we share same feelings" holding each other hand tightly and expressing what they feel through the way they hold each other. After coming back from some walking in the park, Yonghwa’s talk was cut off many times that it was not smooth as it could be. The editing left too many things out that his talk was like on and off. (Yongseonarak added it must be true that a lot were cut off from the last episodes as they filmed from 3PM-3AM but only almost an hour were shown.)
At the end, Yonghwa said something like “It’s okay", implying “we will be the same after this because we will always be together. It’s okay.“ (My warning: taking this longer part with a grain of salt as the owner’s thoughts are added into this.) I don’t know how much was cut off from the last scene (in front of SNSD’s dorm).