“… several people are typing” is the internet’s version of when everyone inhales and opens their mouth at the same time and for one shining moment there is stillness before all hell breaks loose

maximum ride characters as john mulaney quotes

max: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.

fang: You know those days where you’re just like “this might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”

iggy: Nobody cared about my opinion when I was a little kid. Sometimes people would say “What do you think you’re doing?” But that just meant “Stop.”

nudge: I don’t need to trace it. I know how big letters should be. To begin with, a big ass H. followed by a big ass A and oh no. Oh god. Okay. Alright. Real skinny P with a high hump. and then we’ll put the second P below the hump of the first P. Sort of like a motorcycle sidecar situation. And now I have no room for the Y so I’ll do a kind of curled-up noodle Y. Block letters and cursive look good together!

gazzy: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.

angel: You will die on August 7, 2037.

ari: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

jeb: Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to to this day.