s: the danger zone

@thunderboltsortofapenny said: No no let’s do this! Why would steve need to be fake married. Or why would bucky need to be fake married to Steve. We need a reason. #Viper do the thing #It’ll be fun!

So I did the thing, and it’s stupid and terrible, but here, have it:

Bucky’s an EMT. Normal guy, just living his life, trying to help where he can. And then one day, all of a sudden, the aliens are invading NYC, and Bucky’s out there helping, right in the middle of the danger zone because of course he is.

There’s a fight going on, and a bunch of freaks in weird suits seem to be fighting the aliens, but Bucky doesn’t have much time to focus on anything other than all the people in dire need of medical attention. He does what he can to help, grabs the first metal bar he can find and fights only the aliens getting in his way, and works himself to exhaustion. Then there’s a blast, and it sends a man flying right into the wall next to him.

“Hey, you okay?” Bucky asks, rushing to help him, and though Bucky could’ve sworn the blow was hard enough to crush anyone’s ribs, he’s surprised to see the man–who must’ve been on his way to a costume party–stand up practically unscathed.

He’s got broad shoulders and a strong jaw and eyes of the prettiest shade of blue Bucky’s ever seen, and even with his face covered in soot and grime and blood, Bucky’s heart skips a beat.

For a few seconds the man seems a bit disoriented, then he finally registers Bucky’s presence. “What are you doing here?? Get out of the streets!”

“I was–” Bucky starts, and is cut off by an explosion right above their heads and a bunch of debris raining down on them, and a hand shoving him aside.

When he comes to, which is a surprise in itself, the dust has started to clear, and the man who’s clearly saved his life is carrying him as if he weighed nothing, concern in those beautiful eyes and a big, warm hand pressed tenderly against Bucky’s neck, checking for a pulse.

He locks eyes with Bucky and sighs in relief, the hint of a smile on his plush lips, but the hand remains where it is. “Hi,” he says. “You all right?”

“Y-yeah… Thank you,” Bucky replies, but he doesn’t move to free himself of the man’s arms. His stomach is doing something weird, and the man surely has other people to rescue, but for a few seconds they both just stay there, shell-shocked and staring at each other like the world around them has stopped.

Then something blows up nearby, and the spell is broken.

Carefully, the man helps him to his feet, makes sure Bucky’s in one piece, and then says, “Find shelter, okay? Stay inside.”

Bucky’s not planning to, but he can’t find it in him to tell that to this incredible man, so he slowly licks his lips and nods. Before turning around to leave, the man offers him a small, shy smile.

- - - - -

During the next few weeks after the Chitauri attack on NYC, every single piece of footage of the Avengers fighting against the aliens and helping civilians goes viral. Phone videos, security cameras, blurry pics.

The most popular, by far, is a snapshot of Captain America carrying a guy, who can be seen fighting aliens and helping people in other videos, bridal style, thumb caressing his jaw, and both looking like lovestruck teenagers.

Bucky can’t go to the grocery store or even do his job without being stalked by the paparazzi or Cap’s groupies or just random people wanting to know what his Avenger name is, and for how long he’s been dating Captain America.

- - - - -

“You’ve ruined my life!!” Bucky tells him, because of course, of course Captain America would pick Bucky’s park for his morning run. Of course Bucky’d slip on wet leaves on the pavement precisely this morning, and of fucking course Captain America would just happen to be around to catch him at just the right time. Bucky’s seeing red.

“I’m sorry,” Captain America says, and it’s extremely unfair just how genuine and how much like a kicked puppy he looks.

Christ, Bucky wants to punch him.

- - - - -

Steve’s been living in PR hell.

He’s spent the past weeks “saving” girls and boys alike from getting hit by a bicycle, or fainting, or a fuckton of equally stupid shit.

The second anyone spots Captain America, there’ll suddenly be some kind of dangerous situation going down, and someone hoping Cap will carry them bridal style to safety and maybe fall head over heels in love with them in the process.

Steve is tired and done and ready to get back in the ice for another few decades, and shares Pepper’s worries that someone might actually put themself in real danger soon.

“We should handle this before it gets worse,” Nat says. And Steve agrees, of course, but he just doesn’t know how.

“Just marry the guy,” Clint suggests.

Steve almost chokes to death on his own spit.


Clint shrugs. “Why not? Half the world already thinks you’re dating…”

“Clint, he hates me…”

“Only cause people keep pestering him about this. If you two get married it’ll be a circus, but then it’ll blow over. He can’t even do his job right now, right? So you pay the guy for the trouble, yadda yadda, then when this is over you two get a quick divorce, and that’s it. Problem solved.”

For two minutes, no one else opens their mouth. Then:

“He’s got a point…”

“Tony, no,” Steve whines.

“You saw the footage, how he was helping those civilians… If you have to marry someone, he’s not a bad candidate,” Nat says, and then smirks. “Plus, he’s cute.”

Steve already knows he’s lost this battle, but that doesn’t help him feel any better about this. Yes, he’s cute. Yes, he’s a brave and kind and smart guy. Yes, Steve could very easily pretend to be married to him for a while and yes it’d help them both. None of that’s the problem.

The problem is that he kind of really likes the guy.

The problem is that the guy hates him.

This is a really, really bad idea.

Flint’s duels with Joji and Hands

weapon duel breakdown basics, warning: 4x09 spoilers

A lot of people believe that Joji had better skill and Hands went down too easily, and thus the duels were plot gifts for Flint. I disagree completely. The duels were actually an expose of what makes the ultimate advantage in a duel against an opponent using different weapons other than a broadsword.

Here are basic duel logics on who has the advantage:

1. Skill and expertise in your weapon of choice. Flint is likely one of the best three broadsword fighters in the show. Joji is the expert with his katana. Hands is an expert in wielding two weapons - cutlass and hammer with spike. Flint dispatches several men wielding broadswords with great or relative ease. Billy has less expertise in the broadsword than Hands has with his 2 weapons, and lacks experience in defending against 2 weapons. Hence Hands could dispatch Billy so quickly.

2. Physical fitness and strength. The stronger, the fitter, the more agile, the taller a fighter is the more he has a personal physical advantage over his opponent, and it could make the difference if the duelists are of equal expert skill. Remember the duel between Blackbeard and Flint. Same weapons, same skill, but Flint weakened after living weeks on rations. Duel between Billy and Flint in 4x02: Billy has the length and power over Flint, but just not as skillfull.

3. Distance > manouvaribility > sharpness. The longest weapon has a distance advantage, because it allows the duelist to harm the opponent without requiring your body to come into the danger zone of the opponent’s weapon(s). Joji’s katana is longer than Flint’s broadsword, very flexible in use because of its two handed grip, and deadly sharp overall, more so than a broadsword. Flint’s broadsword however is longer than Israel’s cutlass and hammer, and sharper.

4. Having optimal space for your weapon. You need the space that matches your fighting technqiue and your ability to optimally wield your weapon. While a spear is longer than a sword and can prick someone dead as easily as a swordpoint, theoretically a spear has an advantage over a sword, especially if the spear wielder is an expert in wielding it to block, knock and stab the opponent. But that is only true when the fighter has the space to wield it around. Put the fight in a small corridor and the spear wielder loses that advantage altogether, and would do better in dropping the spear and draw out a dagger instead. 

Joji versus Flint

Assume both are equally skilled in their weapon of preference. Joji has the weapon advantage and fighting technique in his optimal space, when he can also use his legs to trip Flint. That is what we see at the start of the duel.

As soon as Flint realizes he is outmatched in this manner and nearly has his head chopped off, he moves away from Joji’s optimal space and draws back into the trees. Flint starts to lure Joji into a more confined space, so Joji cannot use his legs anymore and the slight difference in weapon length might still put him in a disadvantage, but just not as much anymore. Still, the katana remains an advantage in flexibility. Flint manages to defend himself barely in this phase of the duel based on muscle power. But he sees his chance, and drags the both of them into a ditch and close contact position. On their knees and this close to one another, Joji has lost all his advantages, while Flint has the strength upperhand.

Result: Joji dies.

Israel Hands versus Flint

Assume again that both are equally skilled in their weapon of preference and required fighting technique. 

Hands uses two weapons, both shorter ones than Flint’s sword. In that sense Hands is always at a distance disadvantage against any opponent with a broadsword, whether that is Jacob, Billy or Flint. He is a tough guy but not the tallest either. Because Hands has to always put himself in bodily harm’s way against anyone with a sword, his advantage relies on agility on the one hand, and the opponent not having any expertise to defend himself against 2 weapons. We see Hands win against Jacob and Billy for these reasons. He gets into the danger zone, deals a blow, a cut and dances away again to avoid and parry a swoard at a safer distance.

Hands’ foremost issue is that Flint knows how to defend himself against 2 weapons. Hands cannot come in and strike a cut or blow. You may also have noticed that Hands seemed to fight far more stiffly than against Billy and Jacob. His arms are outstretched and stiff. It looks like he cannot fight anymore all of a sudden. Well that’s true and not true. Hands has not lost his skill, he just cannot use it as he usually does, because Flint doesn’t allow him to get close. And now Hands is forced to try and hurt Flint without going near Flint’s sword. So, he creates a bigger distance than he usually does, by stretching his arms, thereby losing his felxibility.

Then consider the environment. It is an open space, optimal enough for Flint’s sword, and yet too slippery for Israel’s dance in and dance away tactic. To win this duel, Israel had only one option - do what Flint did with Joji. Hands should have drawn Flint into a close and confined area, though he would still risk being outforced by Flint.


In both duels, Flint managed to gain or keep advantage because of his tactical choice of fighting space.

My Evening’s in Danger

I might be a bit early because of time zones and shit but for me at least it is @stargazershiro‘s voltron positivity day! So, @shancers here is a little Shance fic that I hope you enjoy ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

The title is a reference to the iconic Incredibles scene, which I love too damn much.

Summary: Superhero AU; Shiro gets a little beat up but it’s all good because his super boyfriend has magical healing powers.

Shiro stumbled through the door, mindful of the bruises scattered over his torso as he cradled his prosthetic arm to his chest. Pidge was going to kill him when he went to them for a repair job tomorrow. For now though, he had bigger concerns. If he could just sneak past the lounge and get to the bathroom to clean the blood off his face he might not be in so much trouble. He tiptoed down the hall, mindful of that one floorboard that always caught him off guard. With his head bowed and him so focussed on his task, he didn’t notice his boyfriend standing in the archway that led from hallway to lounge staring at him like he was a madman. As quietly as Shiro thought he had entered their home, he was still sprung.

“So Champion,” Lance cocked his hip and pursed his lips, “whose life was more important than our anniversary?”

Keep reading

S*fe spaces: when there’s only one stop to go on the train and it’s you and just 4 or 5 other women

Danger zones: when there’s one stop left and you have to go through the tunnel with no cell service and just one man in the train car with you

anonymous asked:

i saw the ask about danger noodle and my first thought was 'danger zone' except it's lasercorn singing and zone is replaced with noods

*slams fist on table* This is the kind of content I like to see