s: my mad fat diary


A/N: I can already see the angry mob coming to hunt my ass down when they finish reading this! #youstillloveme your questions will get answered shortly… Very, Very shortly actually. So until then enjoy this kinda-filler chapter, that stars the lovely Iz, Archie and Chopper :)

As always ignore all the poor editing!!!



“This was a mistake!”

“What?” Finn turned to me; assessing my panic.

“I said this was a mistake! How could I do this!” I was on my feet in seconds. I didn’t care that my thighs were coated with his cum, or that I was running around the room naked whilst I looked for my dressing gown.

“This wasn’t a mistake” Finn corrected. He had finally caught me when I stopped to wrap the silk material around my sweaty body.

“How could you say that Finn! I cheated on Greg, and you cheated on Olivia! Fuck Finn! I can’t beleive I just did that… You! You need to leave!”

I pulled hastily out of his grip and moved towards the ensuite. I needed a shower desperately. Finn still remained naked standing in the middle of my bedroom, his eyes pleaded with me but I didn’t look at him directly.

“You need to leave!” I cried then slammed the bathroom door closed.

“We need to talk about this Rae! But I’ll respect your need to be alone. I’ll be back. No more running, I want answers…” I heard Finn speak though the door. I didn’t know how long I stood there as I waited for him to leave, but after a few minutes I slid down the door.

I couldn’t move from the spot, my body didn’t allow me. My sobs were loud, but not as loud as the sound of my heart breaking all over again.


I didn’t want to leave Rae alone tonight, but I had too. I knew the longer I stuck around the more likely it would be that she would have a panic attack. I couldn’t do that too her, and I surely couldn’t ask her questions tonight about our failed marriage. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

I was lucky that I decided to drive myself too Rae’s house instead of using my driver. I didn’t know it would turn into what it did, but I was glad not cause suspicion within my staff.

By the time I arrived back to my pent house I was a mess, my clothes were in shambles, my hair sweaty. I didn’t know how I was going to explain myself to Olivia, I just hoped she wasn’t home for once.

“Where the hell have you been Finn!” She shrieked the moment my shoe stepped over the threshold.

“.. And why do you look like that! What the fuck happened!”

‘Yeah Finn… what the fuck just happened’ i humored myself.

“I got into a stupid argument with Rae, Ohkay! I went to the park to calm myself before coming home. So just leave it Liv because I’m not in the mood”. The lie was obvious. But I really didn’t care.

I tried I move past her, but her perfectly manicured claw grabbed onto my arm. Surely she could smell the sex radiating me. Either that or she thought I might of got into a scuffle with a horny fucking homeless man over my gold watch that I left at Rae’s house, fuck!

“Baby you should of just came home. I could of made you feel better” she purred.

“I’m not in the mood Liv. I just want to go to sleep” I shrugged her off me and proceeded to walk to the bedroom.

“You never want to have sex anymore! You haven’t fucked me in over 3 weeks Finn! It’s either work or your kids! Never me, I never get any of your attention. They always get in the way of our relationship and you let them” she huffed following me to the bedroom.

“They are my kids Liv of course they are going to come first! You see me everyday, at work, at home! I see them every second weekend and after school twice a fucking week!”

I stripped off my clothes and walked into the bathroom to have a shower; Wash the evidence off my body.

“I want kids too Finn! Remember that when you finally propose and after we are married I want to start a family, just us” she continued to speak and the words sounded like acid. She has been hinting for the last year she wanted to be married to me, and I had continued to ignore her. I didn’t want that type of commitment with her, or with anyone else that wasn’t Rae. I had it once and it broke me, my heart wasn’t healed and I don’t think it ever would be again.

And kids, I knew Olivia was lying. She never wanted kids. I saw the way she turned her nose up at ever baby that was in her eye sight. She was on 2 forms of birth control just to prevent it, not that I cared. I hadn’t dared to have sex with her without a condom, even if she was on the pill. I didn’t want more children, she knew that.

“Olivia enough!” I yelled turning to face her ridged figure, “my kids will always come first. Even if we did get married it will never be just us”.

I slammed the door and made my way towards the shower. Within a matter of minutes the room was full of steam and my body was relaxing underneath the spray of hot water.

I needed to talk with Rae, i needed to see her again. I needed to know why she left.



“Jesus Rae! What were you thinking”

I had just sat my best friend down in the nook she calls an office, at the back of her bakery. I felt horrible having to explain the glory details of my magical sex romp with Finn the night before on a Wednesday afternoon.

The truth was, we had our own lives to attend too. We were working adults in the big Apple, the kids kept me busy and Izzy had a bakery to run. We talked every day on the phone and slotted ourselves into each other’s schedule once a week. But this was visit number two this week, and I needed my best friend.

Izzy’s shock quickly wavered, I could see the empathy light up in her eyes.

“Do you still love him?”

“Of course not Iz! It was a stupid mistake that I will never make ag-”.

Izzy interrupted. “Rachel! Don’t lie to me! Remember who your talking too!”

Of course she could see the blatant lie on my face. This was why she was my best friend, twenty-five beautiful years of friendship. And not one secret untold.

“Come on Iz he was my husband, the father to my children. I’m always going to have love for him…”

“He hurt you”.

I signed. She has seen us through our entire relationship, she was there holding my hand every night for two months whilst I mourned the loss of my husband. She will never forgive him, but she respects him as a father. She knows how much Finn loves his children, and for that she will tolerate him.

“I’m not going to get hurt again Izzy, it was a silly mistake”.

“You need to talk to him about this though”.

“WHAT! No don’t be stupid! This is getting buried in the ‘don’t you dare fucking dig that up’ section. I’m not embarrassing myself anymore in front of my ex-husband”.

“So you’re going to walk around like nothing happened? Ignore him… Rae, are you going to tell Gregory?”

“I can’t tell Greg. I don’t want to hurt him, I can’t do that to him Iz. He’s been so good to me, and the kids” I sobbed. Izzy got up from her seat and kneeled next to me.

“This is going to eat you alive Rae. I’m not going to force you to do the right thing, but you need to think about it. Talk to Finn, and Gregory”.

I pulled her into a tight hug, I knew she was right, but I couldn’t give her an answer just yet.

I knew Finn would be at my door step soon wanting to talk. He never could just let things go and forget about them, maybe that’s why he is such a ruthless business man.

My phone tinged and I broke the hug. Pulling out the mobile, I read the text message.

G: Hi honey, sorry I’ve been so distant lately. Work has been kicking my ass, but I want to make it upto you. Tonight I’ve book a table for us, the kids included. I need to spoil my princess. What do you say? Xx

My body was racked with guilt. How could I have dinner with my boyfriend the night after I screwed my ex-husband?

R: Where? X

I simply replied, ignoring the fact that Izzy was intently staring at me.

G: The Rainbow Room. I’ll pick you and the kids up at 6pm. I can’t wait to see you xx

R: Ohkay sounds good. See you then xx

“What’s going on Rae? Why are you so tense?”

“The kids and I are going to Dinner tonight with Gregory.. And I don’t know how to face him”.

It was now 5.45pm, the kids were in their best attire (Joshua in a navy blue suit and Ruby in a beautiful pink dress). I was currently in my room fixing my dress, and trying not to panic. Which were both unsuccessful.

I had on my beautiful Alexander McQueen v-neck ruffled cocktail dress; that my mother had gotten me for my 30th birthday a few years back. It showed sex appeal but not overly sexy, after all I was going out with the kids. I paired it with black pumps and a red hand bagged; that was stuffed full of the essentials. My brunette hair was curled, and my makeup simple.

The door bell rung at exactly 6pm, I headed straight towards the door before the kids decided they would open it.

Gregory was standing before me in an immaculately tailored grey suit, in his hand was a rose. He swiftly applied a kiss upon my lips before I even had the opertunity to greet him.

“Well don’t you look wonderful!” He appraised me from head to toe, a smile curled his lips.

“Thank you, you look very handsome yourself” I thanked, “let me go get the kids and we will be on our way”.

I rounded up Joshua and Ruby quickly and headed towards the sleek black limousine that waiting for us. We talked about quietly on the ride to the restaurant, nothing personal just useless information. 


“Hello, welcome to the rainbow room. Do you have a reservation?” The hostess asked the moment we arrived.

“Table for four under Silvan, thank you” Gregory smiled.

“Certainly sir, this way please”.

We were seated in front of the window overseeing the Manhattan skyline. It was breath taking, I had only been here a handful of times, most of them being in the private dinning room with Finn.

“Here are your menus for this evening. Our special today is the Skuna Bay Salmon on a bed of char-grilled vegetables with a minted pesto sauce. Would you like to order your drinks now?”

“Yes, can I please get a bottle of your finest wine for my girlfriend and I” Gregory spoke in his Australian accent, “darling, what would the kids like to drink?” He turned to me and asked.

“Umm- just water please” I replied, nothing on the drinks menu look kid friendly. Unless I wanted to dope them up on sugar.

“Certainly. Your waiter will be over with your drink shortly. Until then, please enjoy your night” she said politely, then hurried back over to the front podium after taking our ticket to the bar.

The night was going great, Joshua and Ruby remained well behaved whilst they enjoyed their fish and chips. I had kept conversation with Gregory light and playful, even though inside I was racked with guilt. The night was going perfect. I knew sooner or later something would go wrong, I just didn’t expect it to bite me on the ass so quickly.

“Daddy!” The kids chanted. I looked towards the entrance to see none other then my ex-husband standing there with his arm wrapped tightly around Olivia. What I was not expecting was Archie and Chop to be standing right behind them. 

Finn’s brother and I had been as close as anything during my relationship with Finn, his husband Ben was a lovable oaf and I wondered where he was tonight. To the left was Finn’s best friend, and Izzy’s ex-boyfriend Arnold. But you didnt dare call him that, he was known by his stupid nickname Chop. I hadn’t spoken, nor seen them both since my divorce, after changing my number and not allowing visitors into my office. I had blocked out Finn’s side of the family and friends, it just hurt too much.

Archie had broke away from their group and strode towards the table. I gulped in anticipation.

“Rae” he breathed. I wasn’t expecting the smile that illuminated his face, but I welcomed it.

“Rae, it’s been awhile” I rose from my seat and allowed him to pull me into his arms.

“I understand why you did what you did when you left Finn” he whispered in my ear, “But I wish you hadn’t. I miss you”.

“I miss you too Arch”.

We pulled apart seconds later, he said hello to Gregory who nodded in response then bent down to give Joshua and Ruby a kiss on the cheek.

“Where’s Sophie Uncle Archie?” Ruby asked shyly.

“Well Sophie is at home my little munchkins. Uncle Ben wasn’t feeling well, and Sophie didn’t want to leave her daddy all by himself” Archie replied stroking my daughters hair.

“Awwwww.. I really wanted to see her”.

“Maybe your mom would like to come around within the next few days so you can see her”.

I hesitated. Archie looked straight into my eyes when he spoke; almost pleading that I would say yes.

“Mommy can we! Can we go see Uncle Ben and Sophie?” Ruby bounced in her chair, completely oblivious to the awkward tension.

“Yes darling, we can do that” I smiled.

I hadn’t noticed that Finn, Olivia and Chop were also standing behind Archie til I heard Olivia speak.

“Hello Gregory, pleasure to see you again”.

Gregory looked uncomfortable with the sudden attention he was getting. I looked at him in confusion, I didn’t even know he knew that bitch.

“Uh- you too Olivia” he gulped, swallowing deeply. He gave me a look that said 'I’ll tell you later’, then took a large swig of his wine.

“Rae” Finn nodded, staring at me intently, then towards Gregory. His body going ridged.

“Hello Finn, Chop” I smiled to Chop, purposely ignoring Olivia, who moved closer to my ex-husband.

“Hi Rae-Rae, how have you been?” Chop asked. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hold. He had been like a brother to me for many years. So this felt odd.

“I’ve been great” I mumbled into his shoulder.

“Well we need to go to our table now” Olivia interrupted. Why did she even have to be here. Bad enough Gregory was sitting across from me playing with his wine glass, it didn’t help I had Finn’s Girlfriend sneering at me.

“Soon enough Liv” Finn hissed.

“We will loose our table Finny, plus I feel uncomfortable to be around your ex-wife”.

“Oh please Olivia! They wont give away our table and you know that. Plus you don’t have to be here. You can wait for us at the table if your so worried” Archie spat, glaring at the women.

“Archie please, not in front of my children” Finn growled lowly.

Olivia smiled smuggly towards me. She wouldn’t be smiling if she knew what her boyfriend was doing to me last night. Damn it Rae, do not think about it.

Archie and Chop said goodbye to both the kids and I, even Gregory. Olivia ignored everyone, including my children who honestly didn’t mind and walked towards their table. Finn hugged and kissed the kids goodbye, promising to see then tomorrow after school.

“Rae, can I speak to you for a second?” His was voice void of emotion.

I looked to Gregory, who was still playing with his wine glass glancing towards Finn’s table.

“Um.. Sure” gulping down the last of my wine. I told Greg, Ruby and Joshua that I would be back soon and followed Finn towards a private hallway.

“How are you?” Is he serious right now?

“Oh just great Finn! I don’t feel guilty at all” I scoffed; sending him an intense glare.

Finn’s face relaxed. “Good, because I really don’t like the gu-”.

“Fuck Finn I was being sarcastic! I feel sick to my stomach about this, unlike you I’m not good at this cheating thing!”


“God Finn! Just stop talking about it. It was a big mistake, it should never of happened. So can you just leave me alone. I don’t nee-”

“Will you stop interrupting me!” Finn interrupted. The ass face had the audacity to smirk at his own comment, before it turned deadpan again.

“I won’t stop talking about it about it, until we talk! I need to know what the fuck I have done wrong, and why the fuck you left. I’ve been waiting 2 years for this, and this time I’m not leaving!”

My heart raced a million miles an hour. I could feel the sweat start to sheen my forehead. Being strong was my greatest weakness, and right now my knees were shaking.

“Your girlfriends waiting for you”.

“Very well Rae” his fingers brushed my arm as he moved past me. “I’ll see you tomorrow my dear…” he whispered in my ear.

I watched him walk back towards his table paying no mind to his girlfriend, instead his head turned straight towards his brother. A small smile graced his beautiful face as he listen to his brother talk.

From the corner of my eye I saw Chop looking my way. I turned towards him and smiled, even after my best friend broke his heart he still remained a good friend, best friend even, of mine. It wasn’t like they never talked, I knew Iz still kept in contact with Chop. She never brung it up of course, but she has left her phone open a few times. I’m a nosey girl, and it was her own fault for leaving his message open. Chop blew me a kiss and joined in the chat between the boys, and I headed back to my table so I could try and enjoy dessert.

'See you tomorrow then Finn’ i thought.


@lily-pop-2 @i-dream-of-emus @eveerez @milllott @milymargot @tinakegg @luly310
@arathewallflower @hey1tskat1e @mmfdfanfic @I88cym

Guess who’s back again with the 6th installment of this story!!!

 After the drama and angst Chapter 5 delivered, I figured it was only fair to reward you guys with a little cheeky fun in this chapter, so I hope you all enjoy!

Wanna get caught up on chapters 1-5? You’ve come to the right place!

Thanks for reading/liking/commenting/etc. and I love hearing some of your theories of what could be coming in the next chapters, so keep’em coming if you feel so inclined!

FYI, after the tags at the bottom are the shout outs from my last post and a little author’s note…😊

Keep reading


A/N: This chapter is when the truth starts to unravel… do you think you have figured out what happened? Have a good read!

P.s Loooooong chapter :)



“How do you know Olivia?”

I had just put the kids to bed and now I was sitting next to a tense Gregory awaiting his answer.

“Well about 2 years ago I sold her sister a house. She was there of course, but I didn’t know she was Finn’s Girlfriend”.

‘It was interesting to know that he could still remember his clients sisters from 2 years ago, especially on a first name basis’ I snickered to myself.

It was a simplistic reply that was used as a deflection. It was obvious he was uncomfortable talking about her, and I was curious to know why. But for right now I was exhausted beyond belief.

“Ohkay” I smiled. It wasn’t worth a fight, it was bad enough that I was dealing with Finn, I didn’t need to add Greg to the mix.

“You seem close to your ex-husband’s family” You could hear the bitterness in his voice, and internally I chucked. He didn’t really have a reason to be mad at me over that, when he’s the one lying right now.


“It was just a simple observation Rae. The man seemed very fond of you, if I must say”.

“We were very close when I was married. I cut all ties with them when I filed for divorce. It was the first time seeing Archie- Finn’s brother in years” I sighed.

“Mhm” he nodded. His hand lightly pressed against my naked thigh.

“Hon, can I stay the night?”

I was not prepared to hear that on a Wednesday night. He never stayed over when we both had work in the morning.

“What about work your work tomorrow” I said stating the obvious.

Gregory lived more towards the CBD, where traffic was lethal at anytime of the day or night. It was easier for him to get to work in the morning because he only lived a block away. It would take him a good two hours extra to drive home and get ready, then head to work for his 8am start.

“I have a later start tomorrow. So I can just leave when you drop the kids off for school” he smiled; grazing his fingers more into my inner thigh.

For some reason the intimate touch felt foreign. His hands were softer then I was use to, not as callous and rough. This was not good.

“Ugh- sure” I encouraged myself to smile.

We got off the couch and headed towards the bedroom hand in hand.

Just as we opened the door to my bedroom and saw the state it was in, I froze. Clothes littered the floor in an unattractive manner. The bed, the same bed where I let Finn take me the night before had disheveled sheets, after not sleeping a wink last night.

“You go have a shower and freshen up and I’ll give this pig-sty a little clean. You don’t really want to be smelling three day old Rae do you?” I tried to joke, I was embarrassed he had to witness this.

“Don’t worry about it to much hon” he laughed, then kissed my forehead. I didn’t watch him walk into my ensuite. I was to busy glaring at my bed. There was no way I was washing those contaminated sheets, no they to be burnt.

Anxiously, I hurried to get the last details added to the final sketch before the meeting in two hours. Chloe had organised for the board at 'Taylor industries’ to come in and confirm the sketchs before signing of on the build. The new multi-million dollar mall has been a top priority for my team and I, for the past year and a half. I was glad that we were finally having the last meeting before I could watch my work come to life.

When it was lunch time; or so my stomach reminded me. I checked mobile messages before leaving the office. I had turned it to silent, not wanting to be disrupted. Which I regretted once I saw the miss call from my children’s school.

Dialing the number on my office phone I waited for an answer.

“Columbia Grammar and Preparatory School, Mary speaking, how may I help?”

“Hi my name is Rachel Nelson-Earl, I’m the mother of Ruby and Joshua Nelson. I have a missed call, and I was wondering why”.

“Hi Ms. Nelson. Yes I have a message here for you referring to your son Joshua. It seems that he has had a altercation with another student. He has been stepped down for the rest of the day. We are in need for you to collect him as soon as possible please”.

'Shit’ I thought. Joshua had never been a kid to ever get into any sort of altercation, physical or not. This was completely out of character for him.

Checking the time I noticed I had 30 minutes to til the meeting started, a meeting that could potentially sink my career if I didn’t attend it.

“I’ll have to ring his father to collect him. But someone will be there as soon as possible” I replied. It was the only other solution I could think of. I just hoped Finn wasn’t in a meeting.

“Certainly. I will let his teacher know”.

“Thank you”.

As soon as I hung up the phone to the school, I dialed Finn’s office number. I was put through to two different receptionist before i was finally directed through to Finn’s office.

“Finn Nelson’s office, Olivia speaking” the nasily voice spoke.

“Can you please put me through to Finn” I said in a rush and slightly paniced. I was not in the mood to talk to this bitch, time was against my side and I wasn’t going to let her waste it.

“And who’s speaking?” Her cheerful demeanor forgotten. No wonder why Finn couldnt get any other pussy, she was the ultimate cock block.

Clearing my throat, I continued speaking. “Its Rae, now can you put me through to f-”.

“Rae? Why would you possibly need to talk to Finn?” Olivia barked- like the true dog she was.

“Olivia I don’t have time for this! I need to talk to Finn about Joshua!”

“I’m sure this is something that can be discussed outside of office hours-”

“But y-”

“- unlike some Ms. Earl, Finn is a busy Man and I can’t possibly interrupt him!”


“Good day Rachel!”


That donkey nose airhead, wannabe-fucking-heiress, man-stealing bitch!

I quickly dialed Finn’s mobile, praying to God he actually turned it on for once. One thing Finn and I had in common was that we hated being disturbed from our work. No mobile, no hassle.


“Finn! You need to put a fucking leash on that crackhead girlfriend of yours! I tri-”

“Calm down Rae!” Finn sighed, I could only imagine him raking his hand through his hair.

“Tell me what’s going on? Slowly. And calmly”.

“I called your office to talk to you but your lovely assistant hung up on me! But that’s not the point, the point is I rang you about Josh”.

“Why? What happened? Is he alright?” Finn rattled off questions.

“He’s fine, but he has been in a fight with another student. He’s been stood down for the rest of the day.. Finn I need you to pick him up, please. I have a meeting in 15 minutes and my career depends on it. I know your busy bu-”.

“Of course I’ll pick him up Rae. You don’t need to explain yourself, he’s my son too. I need to take responsibility for him too. But really, fighting?” I could hear the disbelief in his husky voice.

“I know Finn. I don’t know what’s going on with him? He’s never gotten into a fight before” My voice broke, but I managed to pull myself together. This was not the time to do this, especially whilst on the phone to my ex-husband.

“Rae it will be Ohkay, I’ll pick him up and take the rest of the day off. I’ll get Archie to pick Ruby up for me when she finishes”.

“Ohkay” I breathe. “Thank you”.

“I’ll talk to you tonight”.

For the second time today, I was hung up on. My phone was still pressed snuggly pressed against my ear when Chloe pranced in, smile beaming, and excitement lighting her eyes.

“Are you ready?” She came around the desk to stand beside me. Her eyes flicking over the mountain of blueprints and sketches I had rolled up in a neat pile. “Is this all of them?”.

“Yes, there is a detailed plan of every floor, shop location, public area, toilets and even parking. Name a room and and I am certain it’s here” I smiled at my friend.

“This is why I love you Rae” Chloe beamed. Collecting a stack of scrolls, she took off towards the board room. I had a lot of people’s jobs in my hand in this moment and all I had to do is impress 4 billionaires. Easier said then done, taming one was hard enough.


I saw red the moment I ended the call with Rae. To whom my anger was directed towards was a mystery, because i couldn’t narrow it down to just one person. Multiple people where now on my radar. Including a women only metres away from me.

Grabbing my jacket, wallet and keys I threw the door open in a haste. I didn’t even care about the looks that were directed towards me. Not that my floor was full of people, it was only a handful. But those select people obviously found my fury more interesting then their work at this moment.

“Cancel the rest of the day, direct all my calls to the front desk with a note saying I’m away for the rest of the day and send sorry notes with chocolates to whoever I’m cancelling on” I spoke as I walked. I didn’t even look in Olivia’s direction, my main goal was getting to the elevator as quickly as possible.

“But Finn where are you going? You can’t just cancel ev-”

“Do not tell me what to do Olivia! I am your boss and you are my employee. Start acting like it for Christ sake” I hissed, my voice was raised and no doubt our audience were enjoying the show. By the look Liv’s face was portraying she was livid. Not that I cared.

“Will you at least tell me where your going?” She asked, grabbing my arm just as I reached the elevator.

“I’m going to collect Joshua from school” I said keeping all conversation to a minimum.

Olivia snorted. “Really Finn? Your leaving work for that? It’s only 1 o'clock, why on earth would you be picking him up now for? I bet you Rae is only doing this to trick you into some stupid pla-”

Not being able to take her rant anymore. I closed my palm over her mouth, stopping the bullshit.

“Enough! Enough for once Olivia! My son needs me, and not you or anyone else is going to stop me getting to him. Im his father first and foremost. So next time when Rae rings do not hang up on her. Do you understand me?” She nodded, my hand still firmly clasped over her sticky lips.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, you have work to get back too and I have a son I have to see. And maybe you should go see your sister after work for a bit. I need some alone time with my children”.

I didn’t wait for her reply. Stepping into the elevator I immediately pressed the ground floor button. And just like in the movies the elevator doors closed that two seconds, too slow.


Joshua had remained quite when I spoke to the principle in his office.

Mr. Horne was a rapacious man. When he needed money, I was his life line. When the music program needs to upgrade out of season instruments they come to me. In order to keep his bulging budget, he needed to keep me happy.

Joshua had gotten away with barely a slap on the hand and a day off school. Nothing was going on his permanent file, and after much hesitation on Mr. Horne’s behalf the name of the other student was given to me. I knew his parents, they had been an acquaintance of my company for some time, due to my shares in theirs. The matter will get sorted, quietly.

We had been home for the past 20 minutes and still Joshua had barely looked my way, only nodding and shaking his head when I spoke. This sort of behavior was unusual for my 8 year old boy. He was never one to fight, or act up. Unless it was against his sister. But after being fly tackled by a pigtail wearing 6 year old, you would get mad too.

The silence finally got the best of me, when I found myself sitting across from Joshua.

“What happened?” My tone demanding, but I felt desperate.

“He pushed me, so I hit him”.

Joshua would have to be kidding if he thought he was getting away with an answer like that.

Raising an eyebrow. “You expect me to take that for an answer son”.

“I don’t know” he shrugged.

“Why did he push you?”


“Oh come on Joshua just tell me!”

My son slammed his hand down on the couch and stood abruptly. His face was glowing red, tears threatened to spill. Something was wrong.

“You want to know why dad! It’s because he was talking about you and mom and I told him to get a life. He pushed me and I just hit him… I don’t know why” he cried. “I just couldn’t help myself”.

“Son” I stood, walking towards Josh and sat him back on the couch, with me right next to him. “What did he say about your mother and I? You know you can tell me right?”

Nodding, Joshua pulled his knees up against his chest. “He was saying that mom wasn’t good enough. That- that’s why you left us”.

My heart shattered. I knew kids could be cruel these days, but this was nothing that I would of expected.

I didn’t know how I was going to explain myself to Joshua. How do you tell your son that it wasn’t me to walk away, but it was her? You don’t.

“Josh.. Josh look at me please” cupping his chin I turned his face towards me. “Your mother was never 'not good enough’ for me. She is the most lovely and courageous women I know. We didn’t break up because I got sick of her son”.

“Then why did you break up?”


“We just grew apart, but I will always love your mother”.

“Then why are you mean to her dad? Why does she still cry at night?”

It was my turn to start tearing up. I couldn’t beleive I was having an adult conversation with my 8 year old son. My heart hurt more the longer he spoke.

I never knew he could hear Rae and I’s conversations. He heard me when i stupidly degraded his mother, everytime i opened my mouth. Did that mean Ruby could hear too?

I felt like a monster, but i was hurt. Rae had broken me to the point where hate started seeping in, leaving me with fragments of my old self that I reserved for my kids.

“I’m sorry Joshua. I should never of talked to your mother like that. Please promise me you wont ever speak to your mother like that”.

“I wouldn’t. I actually love her” he declared.

“Josh. Don’t talk to me like that! You are not your mother so I don’t have to explain anything to you, alright? We are getting off topic and I want to talk about you hitting another student Joshua”.

“Colton said that his dad got to touch mom” Joshua softly spoke. My heart skipped a beat with his words, then plummeted to the pit of my stomach.

“What? When?”

If I wasn’t sitting my knees would’ve already buckled by now. He was talking about Mr. Davis and Rae. How many other men has she fucked while being with Gregory, or better yet me.

“He said a few years ago his dad saw mom coming out of the bathroom of this big fancy ball… And touched her. The- then he said. He said his friends laughed when Mr. Davis said mom was fighting him. What does he mean dad?”

I tried to remember the last ball he had attended with Rae. It had to of been at least 3 years ago. I remember vaguely the lacey number she wore. The neckline plunged deeper then usual, teasing my eyes, and many men around him.

After thinking about it, I do remember how she had been the perfect plus one. Floating around from person to person, saying her hellos. Between dancing and chatting she was spreading her happiness.

Well until half way through, when she insisted they went home early. Her mood sombre, but she insisted she was due for her menstrual cycle.

Unless… Something happened between Mr. Davis and Rae. Something sinister, and degrading.

That son of a bitch!

“Joshua. Promise me you won’t tell your mother. I want to be the one to speak to her about this. And I will tonight, Ohkay?”

Nodding, Joshua leaned into me as my arm draped across his shoulders. My son was hurt and it was all my fault. I didn’t help Rae, but I didn’t know. If something happened during that ball without my knowledge I don’t think i could forgive myself. I pray that the kid was feeding Josh bullshit, but somewhere in the back of my mind I felt like something did happen.

The door softly opened to reveal my beautiful daughter and brother, walking through the entrance still unnoticed to Josh and I’s presence. Until Ruby looked up and make eye contact with me.

“Daddy!” The click of her polished leather shoes echoed the foyer.

“Hi princess, did you have fun at school?”

“I did! I did! We learnt our 4 times tables today daddy. They so easy, but Mike said that I was just a smarty pants. I told him that my daddy always said I should have my nose within a book, then a boy on a hook” she declared proudly.

My glorious daughter reminded me so much of her mother. The light in her eyes shone brightly, just like Rae’s.

“Well done baby girl. Did you have fun with Uncle Archie?” I asked. Looking towards Archie I smiled, mouthing 'thank you’. I had phoned him the moment I jumped in the car to pick up Josh. He, of course agreed. Our work was close to Ruby’s school, plus Archie had informed me that Ben is quite able to pick up Sophie daycare.

“Yes we organised a play date for Mommy and Uncle Archie. He said he wants mommy, Joshua and I to come see them. It’s going to be fun!”

Archie and Rae must have rekindled their relationship after we interrupted her dinner. With Gregory.

“That sounds great sweetheart. How about you and Josh go to your rooms for a second whilst I talk to Archie, ohkay”.

“Ohkay daddy! Come on Josh, I can show you what I did today in art class with Crissy” she pulled on her brother arm in a haste. Finally, when they went to their rooms I turned to my Brother.

“What happened with Josh?” he asked, moving towards the love seat next to me.

“He got into a fight with John Davis’ son today. He punch him when Colton started to talk about Rae and I’s relationship”.

Sighing, I ran my hand through my thick hair. I knew I could trust my brother with my life, so I knew what I was about to tell him will be kept confidential.

“What about your relationship?” Quizativley he moved forward.

“Apparently she wasn’t good enough for me so I left. But that’s not all…”

“How could a kid say something like that! How would he know what was going on with your family? Hang on there’s more?”

I told him everything that Josh had just told me, down to what I remembered about the night. I could see the empathy in Archie’s eyes. The more I talked, the more my throat constricted. The words left a bitter taste in my mouth, if only I had been there. I could of done something.

“Finn you don’t know for sure if anything happened that night. John could of been telling a bullshit story to a punch of people. Don’t beat yourself up about it”.

“Archie, you don’t understand. After that night Rae started to become slightly distant, I didn’t notice it until she left though. She didn’t seem like herself, but originally I thought it was because of the kids. Then 6 months later, she fucking left me with divorce papers”.


“What if this was the reason. She couldn’t bare to look at me after I let my work associate molest her!”

“You didn’t know!”

“I should of asked her what was wrong. I should of followed her or something. I can’t stop thinking what if…”

“Talk to her. Finn, you need to go around and talk to her. What time are you meant to drop Joshua and Ruby back off?”

“7..” I breathed.

“Its now 4pm, go talk to her now. I’ll stay here with the kids and if your not back by 6.30pm then I’ll drop them of there. That gives you 2 and a half hours to work out what the fuck happened, Ohkay?”

Nodding like a scolded child I got up of the couch.

“Are you sure?” I asked. I was unsure about leaving the kids with him, but I needed to talk to Rae immediately. I couldn’t wait til i dropped Ruby and Joshua off tonight.

“Of course Finn. I’m your brother, I’ll do anything for you”.

“Thank you”.

I pulled Archie in for a hug, then ran out the door. I hope Rae is ready for me.

As quickly as I could I drove to Rae’s house. When I arrived, I threw the gear into parked and hurried to her front door. After knocking I waited very patiently for a very confused but equally beautiful Rae to open the door.

“Finn?.. What are you doing here? Where are the kids?”

“We need to talk Rae. Josh and Ruby are fine, they are with Archie” I said.

The truth will be revived tonight. What really happened the night she walked away… No more waiting.

I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone! Sorry if I did!!

@luly310 @milymargot @eveerez @I88cym
@lily-pop-2 @mmfdfanfic @milllott @i-dream-of-emus @arathewallflower @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e

My Favorite shows part 2


Originally posted by mirandaseb

Modern Family

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Mrs Brown Boys

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My Mad Fat Diary

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Prison Break

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Pushing Daisies

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Queer as Folk

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Ripper Street

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Santa Clarita Diet

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Scream Queens

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Teen Wolf

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The Fall

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The Foster

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The Hollow Crown

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The Night Shift

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The Pacific

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The Red Road

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The Vicar of Dibley

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The Walking Dead

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This is Us

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Tru Calling

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True Detective

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When we rise

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