It’s been too long since I saw you. To be honest, I wanted to know you, I really did, and I miss you so much. I don’t like talking about you like you’re dead. It feels strange even now, and like something I’m being forced to accept.
I started a blog about you. It’s gotten fairly popular. I can’t help but to think, I wish I didn’t have this blog. I have all these followers because of you, I have people giving me messages, telling me they miss you too, and how they wish you weren’t dead, like I led them to some comfort and honestly I’m glad I can help them in the wake of your memory.
But that’s just it, Anton, the reason I have this blog is because you died. I wish you were still here, I wish it so much. It hurts every time I say or do something for you, and I need you back here.
I was just thinking, as I went for a walk in the snow, I’m so sorry you can’t see this anymore. I look outside as I’m riding in a car and music in my ears, and I think, “I am so goddamn happy to be alive.”
But then, I remember, what about those people that aren’t? You’re missing so much, every day, and I kept on living and seeing these things because I know if you aren’t here, someone else has to see them. You’re an intrepid, amazing, kind soul, and I am so sorry I couldn’t make it to your photo gallery.
Your photo gallery. It killed me, knowing I couldn’t make it. I’m so caught in the middle of school, keeping my grades up so maybe, just maybe I can make valedictorian so I can feel a bit better about myself and the way things are.
But that doesn’t matter. I feel as if I’m trying to talk myself up and I’m really not. I say “I miss you, I miss you” so much that it almost seems like it’s trying to form a moot point, a horse that’s long been beaten into the dust.
You’re a really amazing person. I think, if we were just trying to be basic, that’s what I’d say. You’re amazing. An amazing actor, photographer, person that I never got the privilege to meet, not really. What I had with you wasn’t enough to say I even remotely knew you.
I wish I could admit these things to anyone else. You know they won’t listen. I can barely listen myself. I’m trying to distance myself, you know, and it didn’t work. Actually, I’d be lying if I said I tried to distance myself completely.
So, we all decided to do this thing, giving you letters on your birthday, sending them out on helium balloons or posting them, or even just writing them, keeping them. I’m going to write a handwritten one too. It’ll probably be considerably shorter, but I’m sure you have enough letters on your plate, in your hands, right now.
It breaks my heart, what happened, and I wish more than anything that you were still here. God, I want to see another movie with the casting decision of Anton Yelchin for the lead role, the side role, any role at all.
I’ve loved so many things since you went away, like the sky and the snow, even though I’m horribly sick of it by now. Do you remember the way it looked when the sun hit it, or maybe snowflakes when the moonlight fell through the night air? It was like we were in a snowglobe.
I want to tell you so much about the world today. There are also things I don’t want to tell you, because a shit ton of bad things still happen and you don’t need to worry about those anymore. The sun comes out more and more each day, it seems, and the trees are starting to bud.
I wonder, what is it like for you now? Are you there, Anton? Ground control
I wish so much for you to be here with us today and now and here, so so very much. Happy birthday, and I hope the rest are happy too, even though they aren’t your birthday. I hope each day you had wasn’t harried or harsh on you, I hope you lived so many happy days with amazing people that love you so much.
I really do wonder what’s going on where you are. Is it pretty? Is it blank? Can you hear me? What can you see?
No, don’t answer that. I hope it’s so wonderful.
I wrote you a letter and buried it in the snow next to your grave. You know what I mean. I won’t bother to clarify. I hope you see it too.
I miss you so, so much, Anton, more than I can really explain.
Well, I finally got the second Viz Media translations for ORAS and it certainly cleared up a lot of things.
Important thing to note ~Ruby himself was afraid of the asteroid and wished that he also did not know about it.
The thought that after the plans he and Sapphire had made and after the
travelling they had done together an asteroid would just wipe out the
Earth and vaporise them had frightened him. This is what had led to him avoiding Sapphire believing that she would “see the fear in his eyes”, and he wouldn’t be able to keep those fears from her.
He didn’t tell Sapphire about the asteroid because he believed that if they were going to die anyway they may as well enjoy there last days together. Which is the meaning behind this quote ~
In fact he wasn’t going to tell anyone he cared for about the asteroid, Sapphire was just the first he thought of. Also to note ~ Emerald didn’t want to tell Crystal or the Trick Master either in fear of worrying them (and I doubt he underestimates Crys’s strength).
Contrary to popular belief (and Sapphires belief of feeling useless/helpless again ~ like with the aircar, salamence, Mt Chimney etc..) it had nothing to do with Sapphires skill and him not thinking that she was strong enough to handle it. After all she was still helping Steven with the “Draconids” threat.
After almost getting hit by one of the smaller meteorites the reality of the situation sinks in and he realises that he will need Sapphires (not Emeralds or anyone elses) help to stop the asteroid. So again, he doesn’t doubt her strength at all nor does he not trust her.
It may have been wrong for him to not tell Sapphire about the asteroid but it definately was not a completely irredeemable act that so many people make it out to be.
It was just Ruby letting his fears get the best of him again ~just like with the aircar~ and him making decisions based on his emotions rather than what seems logical (Which is what Jaun pointed out as something he would do in dire situations during the clearing of the mind test).
Unfortunately it did inadvertently feed Sapphires insecurities of not being strong enough and feeling useless/helpless but that’s an analysis for another day.
“The gear represents our unity. And it’s very important because it was hard to obtain. It’s because of its importance that it is considered to be the heart of the engineering student’s heart. To the point where they say the gear is within the heart…the heart is within the gear. If we give our gear to someone, that means we’re giving them our heart.”
Here’s how I want Sarah Wright on NCISLA: some sort of BBQ thing backyard at Sam’s house and he invites his SEAL buddy who uses a cane, played by David Olsen. SEAL buddy brings his wife, played by Sarah. There’s a super brief but hilarious interaction when Kensi and Deeks come up. Just a fun cameo like when the moms were on. Team super other in-laws!
Yooooo what if the family Reaper is watching from afar in the Christmas comic is Reyes' ex-wife and son? They now believe him to be dead, but he can never reveal himself because of the monster he's become. All he can do is... check now and then, to see that they're alright without him.
Oh boy, going straight for my feels without hesitating, don’t you?