Eyoooooooooooooooo, the CP Resident Shakespeare Ho/Theater Major is back with more shamelessly using these characters as a means to talk about my major Nurseydex Antics!
As anyone who follows me knows by now, I’m a theater major. Dex and Nursey are comedy gold, and the thought of them working with any of the texts I’ve worked with is just DELIGHTFUL.
(Click here and here for my other Shakespeare Ho/theater major posts)
So without further ado!
Dex needs and art credit. Just one more fucking art credit. But his schedule is insane and there’s only one he can take this semester
it’s an acting class
He doesn’t want to do it. Mostly because his boyfriend will be I N S U F F E R A B L E
But he just wants to get this over with so he registers and just waits for Nursey to find out
Nursey is delighted. And registers for that class, too.
“YOU DON’T NEED ANOTHER ART CREDIT, DEREK!” “Dude, you really think I’m gonna miss this?”
Dex doesn’t really know what to expect going in, but he definitely wasn’t expecting the prof (let’s call him Casey) to be this hot middle aged guy who dresses like Indiana Jones and lives in a cabin and recites Shakespeare to trees
(we’re talking Adventure Indy, not Professor Indy)
(what no I’m not basing him on my prof Kerry who is also currently directing me in Julius Caesar why would you think that)
Nursey and Casey hit it off because Casey is this great mix of Passionate and IDGAF and Nursey wants to be him when he grows up
Dex’s main reaction to him is “?????????” until he starts talking about his cabin in the woods and then they bond over Practical Shit like fixing window panes and Nature
(the rest under the cut because this always happens my posts are always long af)
Onision’s entire channel (all three of them) can essentially be broken down into the same four video concepts that he repeats ad nauseum:
1. Regurgitating poorly-written songs and skits with the exact same topics in the exact same format over and over again. “I’m coming out as [insert sexual orientation/gender here]”. “I’m So [Whore/Pedophile/Nerd/Emo/Goth/Stalker/Hippie]”. “Onision and Laineybot doing the ______ tag!” “Onision Googles ______ and reacts to it!”.
The only time that there is ever any variation in this other repetitious routine is when other YouTubers are featured in his skits. Otherwise, they are mundane and repetitive.
2. Rehashing the exact same stories from his past over and over again (being in the air force, why he doesn’t talk to his dad, YouTubers that he’s fought with, girls he regrets dating even though we’ve all heard about all of his exes dozens of times each, etc), because he doesn’t have a life and never does anything new worth sharing with his fanbase.
(Take it from me, guys. When you’re stuck at home 24/7 - whether it’s by choice, like Onision, or by coercion, like Lainey - there is so little intellectual, social, and sensory stimulation going on in your life that the only thing left to do is ruminate about the past. I guarantee that the source of much of Lainey’s depression is boredom and inactivity; and I’m sure that this is also why he sometimes allows her to bring friends to come and live with them for a while. She’s bored and starved for interaction, but he doesn’t want her to leave the house for school or work, because then there are outside factors at work in her life that he has no control over. Onision has kept her and himself in this situation on purpose - he doesn’t want a normal life outside of this limited, but comfortable, little bubble that’s entirely within his control.)
3. Starting shit with other YouTubers. Choose a new (or old) target every week when the drama begins to die down again. Repeat ad nauseum. **BONUS!** Wonder why his channel isn’t doing as well as the channels of other big YouTubers who actually do things, like go out of their way to be quality content creators, collaborate and maintain positive relationships with other YouTubers, and work to stay within YouTube’s TOS (which I bet he’s regretting not trying harder to do now).
4. Ranting, talking, or complaining about the same repetitive topics over and over again. Republicans. Religion. Feminism. Cutting. Andy Biersack. Mental illness. Animals. LGBTQ+. Eugenia Cooney. Ex-girlfriends (Skye, Shiloh, Adrienne, Billie). Circumcision. Marijuana. Anything revolving around weight and physical appearance in any way: obesity. Anorexia. How to lose weight. Binge eating. How to gain weight. “Body positivity”. Diet. Veganism and vegetarianism. “Would Onision date you?” “Does Onision think you’re hot?” “Onision rates YOUR body on a scale from 1 to 10!” “Are you fat or skinny?” “What does the perfect female body look like?”
The man has not had an original idea in years. Hell, he even stole the concept of Chibi Derp from Fred. Do something else, Onision. This is why your channel is dying.
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