s*h*a*m

- i went to target in the middle of the day in the suburbs on a sunday and ruined my own life, AMA

- why is there always some Yoga Becky doing something fucking obnoxious and stupid to block any escape route like unfurling an entire 8x10 rug she has no intention of buying before stuffing it, still unrolled, into some crevice where it does not belong as she shouts into her otterbox, conclusion: death penalty

- i think i’m honest to god at my breaking point after being woken up, a g a i n, at 2:30 in the morning by screaming drunk after slamming car door after yodeling bro after shriek-laughing white girl, to lie there fully awake with fumes of white-hot hatred oozing out of every pore in my body and I HAD EARPLUGS IN. I WAS PREPARED. i can’t do this anymore, i cannot be around people, someone or something please lay waste to all of this, it was a horrible horrible mistake, we should never have evolved past the point of flicking shit clumps at each other in caves, tower of babel this nightmare already i am begging you

- i smashed my finger against a sharp chunk of metal jutting out of the door coming back into my building and got an instant blood blister, and i don’t know exactly how, but i know it’s the fault of the football field’s worth of yelling sticky toddlers i had to wade through for the privilege of obtaining only two (2) of the products i went there for because target doesn’t really understand like, keeping things in stock at all, and Pilates Patty had to drag her sweaty baseball cap Cargo Dad husband in with her along with the whole deafening brood instead of leaving him home to watch them and do his fucking JOOOOOBBBBBBBB

i think this is the foul mood that might actually kill me

My ideas about the sexualities of the mash gang that exactly zero (0) people asked for:


Hawkeye: the pan-est pan to ever pan. I had a dream the other day in which he was trans so let’s add that too

BJ: Straighty McStraighterson, however he is actually the world’s greatest and most supportive ally

Trapper: honestly who really knows with this boy. Is he straight? Is he bi? Who knows? Not me. I personally feel like he’s bi curious but again ????????

Radar: demiromantic asexual, I imagine gender isn’t really an affecting factor when he does feel romantic attraction to someone

Henry: An Enigma™

Colonel Potter: biiiiiiiisexual as heck

Klinger: nb pan klinger is my life. I live for them

Charles: homoromantic asexual as heck

Margaret: too good for everyone, possibly is God. It doesn’t matter who is into her because she’s so much too good for everyone she’s already ascended to the next astral plane where the entire concept of gender never existed

Frank: gay but so deeply closeted and in denial that even if he were to exist in our time he would still be insisting that he was exclusively interested in women

Father Mulcahy: ????????????? Probably interested in men. Might be interested in women. Definitely​ celibate and ???????????????

Anyway I’d love to talk about this more (I could go on for hours) so please share your ideas with me. I think I got everyone but if there’s someone I forgot believe me they’re probably queer too

Hiccup Pro Tip

if u have hiccups just think with complete confidence “hey. actually fuck this im not gonna hiccup anymore” and you just stop hiccuping? it’s probably not guaranteed to work for everyone but it’s worked for myself and everyone I’ve told to do this 100% of the time so !!! hell yea !

princevolker2788  asked:

Dragon Age: Inquisition companions reacting to a young inquisitor (3 to 9) asking if they can sleep next to them after a nightmare concerning Redcliffe Castle. Especially if said companions were the ones who died protecting them as Dorian brought them back to the present.

Cassandra: She blinks at them through the darkness of night, and after a moment’s hesitation, consents and allows it. She’s awkward, but they go to sleep quickly, feeling safe near her. She eventually drifts off as well, feeling pity for the young one.

Iron Bull: He’s a little worried he’ll roll over on them, so he lays there motionlessly as they cuddle up against him and quietly go to sleep. He eventually drifts off, frozen in place, minding the spot the child chose to sleep in against him.

Blackwall: Awkwardly, he shrugs and allows it, unsure of himself as the child curls up against him and goes to sleep. He had heard about what happened in Redcliffe, and he understands their wanting to be with someone, but… him? He feels peace settle over him as the child begins to snore, quiet pride and quiet duty, and he follows suit.

Sera: She wordlessly pulls open the cover and lets them crawl in, and the two sleep soundly as she gently puts an arm over them to reassure them that she is real and they are safe.

Varric: He allows it, for once quiet as slumber threatens to take him back. He grunts as they push against him, and he relinquishes a sigh. “You’re safe, kid. We’re all okay.” The words settle them as much as he wishes it would settle his nerves, and he drifts off as they do.

Cole: He doesn’t sleep, but he lies down and lets the child cuddle up against him. “Warm and comforting, arms of love pulling me close, warding demons off, you feel safe. You are safe. I’ll do my best.” He lies there as long as they sleep, and feels happy for doing so– he helped.

Dorian: He’s a little worried and unsure of how exactly to comfort them. “Are you sure you want to sleep in my bed? Not with Cassandra or… someone else?” he asks warily. The child insists and crawls under the sheets. Dorian sits there for a moment, a bit befuddled, but the child starts drawing quiet little breaths as they fall to sleep, and he follows suit quietly.

Solas: He quietly allows it. “Come, da’len; I will ensure no demons serve you nightmares. The majesty of the Fade will guide us to peaceful slumber.” His words soothe them, and both drift off in peace.

Vivienne: Normally, she would adamantly refuse, but the child is teary and shaking, so she sighs and lifts the sheet up. “Don’t plan on making a habit of this.” she warns. At the same time, she feels something bubbling in her chest, something like warmth and quiet pride, and she drifts off to sleep peacefully.

Josephine: Like Sera, she quietly holds the sheets open, remembering times she had to do this with Yvette or any of her younger siblings. She has performed this duty many times, one of comfort and love, and she feels their panic fading away as they curl up against her. Both drift off quickly.

Leliana: Without so much as a word or a glance up, she holds the sheet up and allows them in before drifting off to sleep, her arm settling over them quietly. They feel extra safe– nothing can hurt them when the Spymaster is there.

Cullen: He’s half-asleep, and a bit too incoherent to process what’s going on, but he gives in. He finds the next morning that his own nightmares were fewer and of less intensity, and he only prays the poor child felt safer, too.

Here’s a representative gif for all of them:

Originally posted by cutepikachu