My ideas about the sexualities of the mash gang that exactly zero (0) people asked for:
Hawkeye: the pan-est pan to ever pan. I had a dream the other day in which he was trans so let’s add that too
BJ: Straighty McStraighterson, however he is actually the world’s greatest and most supportive ally
Trapper: honestly who really knows with this boy. Is he straight? Is he bi? Who knows? Not me. I personally feel like he’s bi curious but again ????????
Radar: demiromantic asexual, I imagine gender isn’t really an affecting factor when he does feel romantic attraction to someone
Henry: An Enigma™
Colonel Potter: biiiiiiiisexual as heck
Klinger: nb pan klinger is my life. I live for them
Charles: homoromantic asexual as heck
Margaret: too good for everyone, possibly is God. It doesn’t matter who is into her because she’s so much too good for everyone she’s already ascended to the next astral plane where the entire concept of gender never existed
Frank: gay but so deeply closeted and in denial that even if he were to exist in our time he would still be insisting that he was exclusively interested in women
Father Mulcahy: ????????????? Probably interested in men. Might be interested in women. Definitely celibate and ???????????????
Anyway I’d love to talk about this more (I could go on for hours) so please share your ideas with me. I think I got everyone but if there’s someone I forgot believe me they’re probably queer too