s snape


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Chapter Fourteen: Snape’s Grudge

As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map.

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”

Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn’t stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

It would have been very funny if the situation hadn’t been so serious. And there was more… .

“Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.”

Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he’d opened them, the map had had its last word.

“Mr. Wormtail bids, Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”

I give up. I’ve searched through three fanfiction archives and there are NO good Snily fanfics (except for Obscura Nox Animae by Heatherlly). 
Can anybody recommend (or finally write) me a fic (or preferably hundreds of fics) in which: 

- Severus is not a sex-obsessed bastard that fucks every woman on his way without loving her. Sorry, but there is no canon hint that he ever had sex and him being a virgin is SO much better as it shows how deeply he loves Lily.
- Severus doesn’t Lily in the end to either death or James
- Severus isn’t actually evil
- Severus doesn’t smoke or swear all the time (I’ve got no problem with swearing, it’s just out of character and part of Snape’s charm is his almost antique way of talking.) 
- they are not just in bed in a PWP one-shot

So does anyone knows a fic like that and would do me the honour of recommending it to me?

rainandblaze  asked:

Do you think if James and Lily survived, Snape wouldn't have had the same attitude towards Harry as he did in the books? - Also I was quite surprised when you followed me, made my day a bit :) I apologize for the random stuff I reblog, if you've seen it lol

I’m not sure.

From what I can remember, Snape really didn’t like James, lol. But I’d assume that had Lily survived, Snape’s attitude would have been at least a little bit softer towards Harry, and he wouldn’t have been such a Tsundere :)

Hehe, and don’t worry, I followed you because I like you, not because of what you reblog ^_^

my biggest pet peeve is when people write lupin as the wet blanket mom friend prefect type, like…did you read prisoner of azkaban tho??

  • literally shoots chewing gum up peeves’ nose 20 seconds into his first lesson ever
  • passive-aggressively puts snape’s boggart in drag after snape insults neville in front of his class 
  • and THEN, gives zero fucks about snape’s increasing rage as word gets around that HE DID THAT
  • speaking of gives zero fucks: gives zero fucks about trelawney’s attempts to crystal gaze for him
  • somehow miraculously bullshits his and harry’s way out of repercussions after snape catches harry with the map and has every right to put harry in detention for the rest of his life (AND he keeps composure while his teenage self is savagely badmouthing snape right in front of him, no less)
  • is prepared to straight up murder his former best friend in cold blood in front of 3 of his students and totally would have done it if not for harry’s intervention
  • gives harry the map back because, fuck it, he’s not a teacher anymore, give em hell, kid

like i get the whole tea/sweaters/laid-back-professor aesthetic, but remus lupin is a magnificently flawed and sometimes straight up terrifying character…he’s so much more than fandom’s portrayal of him as this mild-mannered, careful person, and i think that part of the reason he’s so interesting to me is that he seems just like that at first, but you have all this dark shit lurking just beneath the surface. one of my favorite moments in the entire series is when he goes into that extremely scary place and he’s about to murder peter, because you know that each DADA professor so far has had some dark secret, and even beyond the werewolf reveal, remus’ payoff is SO good. he’s such a good character honestly

concept: head auror harry has a group conference in mcgonagall’s office b/c crisis of the week. one of the other professors called harry ‘sir’. he very politely says ‘oh, there’s no need to call me sir, professor. harry’s fine’ but he glances @ snape’s portrait when he says it

social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him. 

general perception of remus lupin: wise and calm; the voice of reason; reasonable and never impulsive; the rational marauder 

actual canon remus lupin: pretends not to notice his friends breaking a million rules even though he’s a prefect; uses snape in drag as his very first lesson, ready to fucking just. straight up murder a person bc of betrayal; gives a 13 year old kid a map that he could easily get into serious trouble with; shit talks umbridge behind her back; spends pretty much an entire book chilling underground with shady werewolves; knocks up his wife in the middle of a war and then tries to run away; 0-100 real quick; has absolutely no chill whatsoever; is a fucking disaster of a human being

Being Snape’s daughter and dating Draco Malfoy would include:
  • Keeping it a secret from your father first
  • But Draco is always so touchy
  • Holding hands
  • Stealing kisses
  • Lots of hugs
  • And Draco would always give compliments
  • Snape would quickly see through your ‘just friends’ act
  • “Mister Malfoy, you stay back after class”
  • “Fuck he knows”
  • Snape would secretly be happy that its Draco
  • Cause he can’t stand Blaise for some reason
  • Draco would always kiss you
  • And Snape wouldn’t approve it at first
  • All the hugs Draco would give you
  • While Snape shook his head
  • He learned to accept it
  • Because it made you smile and giggle
  • And hearing you giggle was the best sound in the world for both men
  • Imagine the family meetings
  • Draco keeps calling Snape ‘Professor’
  • Even outside of school
  • During Christmas dinner
  • “can you hand me the potatoes, professor?”
  • Snape would sigh and hand them over
  • “you don’t have to call me professor outside of school”
  • “sorry professor”
  • Meeting the Malfoy family
  • But you already knew them
  • And they knew you
  • Because Snape and Lucius would’ve organised ‘play dates’ for you and Draco when you were toddlers
  • Narcissa being so happy with the news that you were her daughter-in-law
  • She had always hoped it was you
  • Even Lucius
  • He’d be super cool about everything the two of you do
  • Having the coolest family-in-law ever
  • Snape would notice it immediately by the way you act
  • “10 points from Slytherin”
  • Everybody would gasp and be shocked
  • ‘Did Snape just withdrew points from his own house?”
  • And then the two of you would make up again
  • “10 points to Slytherin”
  • “for what?”
  • “Love”
  • “Severus that’s not a valid reason”
  • “It is now Minerva”
  • Snape trying to hid his smile when he sees you and Draco walk past him, hand in hand
  • Draco treating you like a princess all the time
  • Little gifts
  • Small dates
  • Cute surprises
  • And by the end of the day you wouldn’t want it any other way.
  • Snape: If the body's only been dead for ten minutes how'd he end up all freshly bloody and mangled? [looks at Remus]
  • Remus: Yes,... probably the work of- ...that infamous Hogwarts jaguar... Yeah, yes! The ah... the Hogwarts Jaguar, responsible for so much property damage to Hogwarts this year, especially... in my office.
  • Remus: [coughs behind hand in funny voice] "Lupin shouldn't have to pay for that"
  • Remus: Yes, who said that? Probably that jaguar, plus his soft adorable paws that he trips over when he starts running too fast.