rydia rambles

Cloud Strife and Mental Illness

I see a lot of people on my dash talking about Cloud Strife’s obvious dealings with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I think that’s pretty cool that we’re talking about this freely, because obviously, mental illness is an important thing to talk about. I also think that discussing mental illness within fandom is awesome for various reasons.

I do, however, feel like most of the discussion I see lacks something.

(Now, please understand, I am not an expert. I don’t have a degree or any real experience beyond what I have seen in my own life. So please take what I have to say with a grain or two of salt.)

Almost all of the serious discussion I’ve seen is about PTSD and only PTSD. PTSD is probably the most easily recognized mental illness that Cloud has, but I don’t think it’s the only one he has.

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I’m SO ANGRY about that blue/black or white/gold dress picture I keep seeing because, goddamn it, the first time I saw it, it was DEFINITELY white and gold, and every other time I’ve seen it, it’s been blue and black.

Like, I even went all the way back to the first place I had seen it to see if it was a different picture, AND IT CHANGED COLORS.


I was thinking about how, when Cloud first meets Aerith and goes to her house and stuff, Elmyra asks Cloud to leave during the night without telling Aerith.  It seemed a little odd to me since always, but I dismissed it because obviously, Zack’s death was a big impact on Aerith.  It’s very likely that Aerith knew Zack had died when he did, since she can feel it when people enter the Lifestream.  This is proven when she tells Elmyra that her husband has died, which she could sense even though she had never met him.

So of course Elmyra is concerned about Aerith’s happiness, being her mother and all!  Elmyra probably met Zack at least once, and she probably saw in Cloud exactly what Aerith did.  She didn’t want Aerith to get hurt again, that’s understandable, and Cloud was obviously a guy who got into trouble a lot.

But it finally, finally occurred to me that there’s even more to it than just that.

Elmya lost her husband the same way Aerith lost Zack.

Mr. Gainsborough went off to the war in Wutai, just like Zack went on a mission to Nibelheim.  Elmyra expected her husband to come back and waited for him at the train station every day.  Aerith expected Zack to come back and waited for him at the church every day.  In the end, Mr. G died on his way back to see Elmyra, and Zack died on his way back to see Aerith.

Certainly Zack and Aerith’s relationship was probably not the same as what Elmyra had with her husband, but I’m sure she too saw the parallels. She understood how much it hurt for Aerith when Zack died, and she didn’t want her daughter to ever experience that again.

sorry for the radio silence, friends.  i am back in michigan, visiting my family, for a little while!  things are kind of busy with christmas programs and stuff for my nieces and nephews, and i’m working on making a bunch of clothes for their AG dolls for christmas presents, so i haven’t been on tumblr much.

here is a problem sleuth gif to make it all up to you:


plz excuse the fact that i got sick of terezi’s quirk after about 2 minutes and focus on the fact that i am the best terezi ever

i fuckin love this game so much

(for the record, it was down to tavros, gamzee, and terezi, and terezi and gamzee voted for each other and tavros voted for gamzee anD TAVROS WON BECAUSE HE WAS MAFIA BYE)