ryder shepard


so that post about how starfleet officers need permission from both their superior officer and their medical officer before they can sleep with an alien came back on my dash, and I thought I’d explore what it would mean for shepard if the alliance had the same rule…

mortification. that’s what it would mean. luckily, chakwas is a Cool Mom.

and for comparison, ryder - 

…lexi’s also a Cool Mom but she’s the type of overly prepared Cool Mom who asks you loudly in front of your friends if you’ve “got protection” when you go out then proceeds to pack extra into your bag when you clam up in horror

Doing the Math real quick

- 2139: Saren was born.

- 2154: Commander Shepard was born.

- 2157: relay 314 incident (duped space traffic ticket) ((Saren is 18, Shepard 3))

- 2159: Saren becomes a Spectre. (He’s 20)

- 2163: the Ryder twins are born.

- 2165: humanity gains the right to an embassy on the Citadel. ((Saren’s 26, Shepard 11, Ryders are 2))

- 2170: Mindoir is attacked ((Saren’s 31, Shepard 16, Ryders 7)) also, Avitus Rix becomes a Spectre.

- 2172: Shepard enlists in the Alliance ((Saren’s 33, Shepard 18, Ryders 9))

- 2176: the Skyllian Blitz ((Saren’s 37, Shepard 22, Ryders 13))

- 2177: the Akuze disaster ((Saren’s 38, Shepard 23, Ryders 14))

- 2178: the Torfan massacre ((Saren’s 39, Shepard 24, Ryders 15))

- 2183: the events of Mass Effect 1 ((Saren dies at 44, Shepard’s 29, Ryders 20))

- 2185: the events of Mass Effect 2 ((Shepard’s 31, Ryders 22)); the Andromeda Initiative launches at the end of the year.

- 2186/2187: the Reaper War ((Shepard’s 32))

- 2818: the Nexus arrives at the Heleus Cluster.

- 2819: Ark Hyperion arrives at the Heleus Cluster, the events of Mass Effect Andromeda happen ((Ryders 22))

angarans: alright so the turians have the best military in the milky way, the asari have basically mastered biotics, salarians are good at everything they do and the krogan are literal fucking tanks. what do humans have to offer?


Shepard visiting the unconscious VS in the hospital: You really worried me. Feel better soon, we need you in this fight. I could use your help. 

My Ryder visiting comatose Scott in the hospital: Get off your ass, fuck face, I know you’re faking it. 

Scott:  …*in coma*…

My Ryder: So that’s how you want to play it.