ryan-lochte

OKAY LETS DROP SOME KNOWLEDGE HERE

okay world lemme tell you something real quick
If there is one thing that you should NOT do is mess with Brazil because we are literally the embodiment of the word PETTY
I mean it.
Some examples for you:
• We made fun of ISIS on twitter after it threatened to attack us
• We sat through 10 HOURS of an impeachment voting just to make memes out of it
• We ended the career of the Brazilian pop star Biel after he harassed a reporter ( he lost his contract with a musical record, had to sell his car and house and move back with his parents and now he is being sued for harassment)
• We started a war on twitter with a Canadian reporter after he complained about the size of our coffee ( for real )
• We made Ryan Lochte lose 4 of his sponsors after we created a hashtag about him ( #LochteGate) because he lied about being robed and trashed a gas station bathroom here in Brazil during the Olympics
• We started a war against Portugal on twitter after they stole one of our memes ( there was even a Wikipedia page about it )
• After Renauld Lavillenie was bitching about being second place in the Olympics and compared us to nazis and his coach made fun of one of our religions we started a battle against him on social media and he had to make a public apology
• AND OUR MOST RECENT CASE: Azealia Banks started to talk shit about our country on Facebook and made some xenophobic comments about us we started a war against her and because of this her account was once again banned from twitter, and now she is a meme here in Brazil

Point made.

reason why usa swimmers are bad drivers

THEY DON’T KEEP BOTH FUCKING HANDS ON THE WHEEL

NO MICHAEL, STOP BOUNCING AND FLAILING YOUR ARMS AROUND, YOU’RE NOT THE GOAT RIGHT NOW #DISAPPOINTED

ok nathan i get you like pokemon and all BUT C’MON MAN IF YOU WANNA BE THE VERY BEST KEEP BOTH HANDS ON THE DAMN WHEEL

mAYA NOT ONLY ARE BOTH HANDS NOT ON THE WHEEL BUT YOU’RE NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE ROAD EITHER

ELIZABETH STOP PARTYING IN THE USA AND PUT BOTH HANDS ON THE DAMN WHEEL (also, same caeleb.)

OH C’MON KEVIN GET IT TOGETHER

CODY THE DAMN LOBSTER PINCERS ARE KEEPING YOU FROM GRIPPING THE WHEEL

RYAN YOU ARE ON YOUR DAMN PHONE

JFC CONOR WHY DID THEY PUT YOU IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT

OH MAYA NOT AGAIN

ANTHONY, NO, EVERYTHING IS DEFINITELY NOT ALRIGHT

SWIMONE STOP FLIPPING YOUR HAIR AND PUT BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL

and now here is the real GOAT katie ledeckY BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT

so, if you’re thinking of hiring these swimmers as a driver, don’t, unless their name is katie ledecky

this has been a psa by patricia aka rowmanova :)

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