ryan o' connell

You will fall in love with your friends. Deep, passionate love. You will create a second family with them, a kind of tribe that makes you feel less vulnerable. Sometimes our families can’t love us all the time. Sometimes we’re born into families who don’t know how to love us properly. They do as much as they can but the rest is up to our friends. They can love you all the time, without judgement. At least the good ones can.
—  Ryan O'Connell
I’m in love with you because you make me feel safe. It sounds corny and vague. People always talk about feeling safe with someone and you wonder what it even means. I still don’t really know. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m clutching a giant thing of pepper spray or reliving a moment of being carried to bed by my parents when I was five years old and fell asleep in front of the television. All day long, I can feel fragile, like a raw nerve, and when I come home to you, it’s like I just put on the thickest winter coat and installed bulletproof windows in my apartment. ‘Honey, I’m home…and no longer terrified.
—  Ryan O'Connell, This is Why I’m in Love With You
I fall in love with ideas and fantasies rather than whole beings and then I sit here and wonder why I’m still alone. It’s because I don’t fucking pay attention. I’m too busy thinking about tomorrow that today falls through the cracks.
—  Ryan O'Connell, I’m Trying To Love You More

“Zavolit ćeš nekoga tko je hladan i uvijek te naizgled odguruje od sebe. Kad je sve učinjeno i rečeno, zauvijek će ti ostati u sjećanju kao osoba koju nisi mogao natjerati da te zavoli. Nažalost, bolit će i peći više nego oni dobri, oni […] koji su otkinuli trepavicu iz tvog oka i bili dobri prema tvojoj majci, jer često osjećamo da je ljubav poput igre u kojoj treba pobjediti.”

Ryan O’Connell, The People You Will Fall in Love With in Your 20s

“I’m in love with you because you make me feel safe. It sounds corny and vague. People always talk about feeling safe with someone and you wonder what it even means. I still don’t really know. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m clutching a giant thing of pepper spray or reliving a moment of being carried to bed by my parents when I was five years old and fell asleep in front of the television. All day long, I can feel fragile, like a raw nerve, and when I come home to you, it’s like I just put on the thickest winter coat and installed bulletproof windows in my apartment. ‘Honey, I’m home…and no longer terrified.”

- Ryan O'Connell, This is Why I’m in Love With You

I realize just how perfect you are and it’s still not enough somehow. I’m still stuck here trying to figure out how to love you more and I wish someone could just show me the answers in the back of the book so I wouldn’t feel so fucking defective all the time. But that’s not the way love works. You either got it or you don’t and I know I don’t have it–not for you, not for anyone else, and maybe not even for myself.
—  Ryan O'Connell, I’m Trying To Love You More
Love is fucking stupid. Love is fucking smart. Love is about betraying yourself, of compromising your ideals for someone else’s approval. That’s actually the bad kind of love, but I guess it all blurs together when you’re young or when you’re old or when you don’t love yourself.
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Ryan O’ Connell

(this makes so much sense. i’ve seen it happen too many times.)