rural darkness

A CONVERSATION WITH A GIRL I ONCE LOVED || j.m

we were always an anthology of things to be feared
when it came to rural girls.
she was more wild than me, her braids always a little more crooked
and she was rooted so deeply to the land
the trees grabbed at her as she ran by.
everyone wanted to keep a part of her for themselves.

you’re lucky you got out when you did”

she’s marrying the son of the butcher
we never really knew him, as children.
we were feral girls from the farms,
the kind parents warned their sons about.
the kind raised on gun smoke and muddy water

i visited the lake yesterday. do you remember it?”

she still smiles like the world is a challenge
and she still laughs like cold water down your spine
and i guess i fell in love somewhere between
our hands clasped together as we both stepped into the cottage
and the time she pressed her fingers to my mouth with a sad sad smile

they found the body last week, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

i try my best not to let my mind drift back
to that cold, rotting house at the end of the gravel road
where a small girl is still locked in the wardrobe she would hide in
until the darkness retreated

the darkness never left
and, i guess,

neither did i

8

collage of some of the stuff me and chloe saw and did!! what a crazy week, i’m amazed we survived it. some highlights include:

- dive bar hopping with carly, and me getting insanely drunk off of the two bottles of cheap white wine we ordered
- visiting a ton of mausoleums and walking through cemeteries
- meeting her brother who is super eccentric (in a good way) and hangs out in his garage. offered us beer he bottled himself and a ton of weed. he went to see metallica and guns n roses in 92!
- going on a road trip through rural ontario driving to dark lotus and going to twin farm, where chloe had to unlock and push open the gate so we didn’t have to hike down the giant driveway.
- having a ton of food including at a diner and fancy places too. and so much mcdonalds breakfast…
- eating weed cookies and watching the parent trap
- driving to niagara with carly and keeping an eye on her and chloe because they were drinking four loko! walking through niagara when the falls were lit up and the motel strip was deserted at 1am
- thrifting. she got a maroon fish sweater which i am jealous of
- going to the zoo with marissa and maisie and taking selfies with maisie in her raincoat

overall it was super fun! we did so much and shot a lot of film. i truly can’t wait to see all of her film and all of mine too. hopefully we can hang out again someday soon!