running-in-a-field

take it as they come

sunday

You take the good with the ‘not as good,’ right?  Had a decent 5k run this morning at big local race, the Linda Yalem run, finishing in 16:54, 5th overall, 1st master.  Proud of the result and happy to get under 17 min.  The times overall were slower this year, even with good running weather, the winner in 16:20 was about a minute slower than last year’s and my time wouldn’t have broken into the top 10 in many of the past races.  

It was tactical race this year, no one wanted to take the pace out, and I was able to hang with the lead pack for most of the race  

You run enough races, you know that sometimes a PR gets you nowhere in the placings and at other times, a relatively slow time gets you near the top.  You take it as they come and be proud of the effort.  Very happy with my run this morning.

The fuck?

I just watched the two videos (that I could find) of the Keith Scott murder and I just have some motherfucking questions.

- If you think a man has a gun in his car and is a danger to you, why would you be trying to break his passenger window?! Trying to give him a better shot at you? Or maybe trying to give yourself a better shot at him.

- If are are a police officer and find a man, with his arms down, walking backward slowly, to be a threat and you feel in danger enough to shoot him, perhaps you are in the wrong fucking field. He wasn’t running, he wasn’t charging, he was backing up slowly as if to say “please don’t shoot me I’m scared right now” and you shot him. I can’t wait to hear the people say “he should have had his hands up and just gotten down on the ground.” I’m just sayin, if I was a black man and multiple cops just stormed my car for no apparent reason, I would be so scared I wouldn’t know what to do.

- WHY THE FUCK IS IT NECESSARY TO HAND CUFF A MAN WHO HAS JUST BEEN SHOT AND IS STRUGGLING TO FUCKING BREATHE!!!!!!!!

I don’t understand. I don’t. If a person can watch these videos of cops shooting unarmed INNOCENT black woman and men AND still spew that #butalllivesmatternotallcopsarebadyoubetterstandwhentheysingthatsong bullshit then that person is part of the motherfucking problem.

I don’t even know what else to say at this point.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
We throw around the word never likes its nothing but a small rose petal. The word never is a doubled edged sword. On one side it says ‘I will never leave you’ and on the other it says ‘I will never love you.’
—  The Word Never