I know it doesn’t always seem like it but you can change. You don’t have live an unhappy life. You don’t have to be plagued by obesity. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed of your body. You CAN be healthy. You CAN be confident. You can be whatever you want. You just have to work for it. Put yourself first. You’re worth the investment. 🖤
We will be more successful in all our endeavors if we can let go of the habit of running all the time, and take little pauses to relax and re-center ourselves. And we’ll also have a lot more joy in living.
You had fallen asleep hours before, while I had stayed up writing. When I finally padded into the bedroom, you were splayed out, taking up the entire bed and snoring lightly. When I climbed underneath the covers, you swung your arm around me in your sleep and pulled me close.
And it was then that I thought that, maybe, despite my habit of never returning calls and deleting voicemails without listening to them, and despite my habit of locking my keys in my apartment and sleeping on my neighbor’s floor, and despite my habit of running from the nearest commitment, and despite my habit of fucking everything up around me…
Maybe, maybe I could do this with you for the rest of my life. And maybe, maybe I wanted to.
cut scene: “i was always scared of staying in one place for too long until you came around”
Kaidan picking up habits from Shepard, and using them after the Normandy is destroyed
Kaidan using the motion of casting a barrier to throw a grenade, because that’s what Shepard used to do
Kaidan holding his gun the way Shepard used to
Kaidan taking to talking to himself during a firefight, because he got used to banter and not talking makes it seem more serious than it is
Kaidan throwing back the enemies’ taunts in an obnoxious and exaggerated voice, because according to Shepard, everyone takes themselves way too seriously
Kaidan doing all of this completely unconsciously- he didn’t do it to mimic Shepard, it just felt…right.
Kaidan on Horizon, having gotten free of stasis and behind cover, sizing up the Collectors. Without thinking, as he shoots one, he shouts “holy fuck, you’re ugly,” and at the same time hears- maybe in the back of his mind, but it feels too real for that- a familiar voice shout the same thing, across the colony, and for a moment his heart stops
•Establish comfortable career
•Obtain Registered Veterinary Technician license
•Maintain same bland, mundane relationship
•Add alcohol & constant partying
•Become engaged to bland, mundane human
•Add long distance running
•Establish clean eating habits
•Subtract alcohol & partying
•Lose close to 100lbs
•Subtract bland, mundane human
•Subtract long distance running
•Add amazingly strong & perfect man human
•Surgically subtract 7.5lbs of loose skin
A beautifully positive and radiant woman happy in her own skin with those around her & the life she has made for herself.
TXF |MSR | Revival - Post Home Again | Angst | PG | 8/8
Thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging and kind to this story. My plan to have it done for Christmas was horribly optimistic but I hope the ending has been worth the wait.
Mulder pulls up at Maggie Scully’s house at 10:55am on Christmas Eve and looks wistfully at the empty passenger seat. While he isn’t sure exactly what is about to happen, that he won’t end up arresting some misguided Santa wannabe for trespass, he does wish he’d found a way to explain the whole thing to Scully. She’s probably safer at home, but still, it feels wrong sitting here alone when this whole thing seems to have been about her.
He had planned to tell her, to offer her a way in and not return to his old habit of running at mysteries without her, but the right moment had never presented itself. Few conversations leave space for a casual, “Hey Scully, so I’ve been getting these anonymous letters about giving you your Christmas wish and apparently it all finishes on your mom’s lawn tomorrow!” It’s not exactly post-therapy, or pre-briefing conversation. Then, there were more important things to consider, like that someone was murdering old folks and then hiding them in snowmen or the fact that the mother of his child had sat in a room with him and a stranger and laid bare some feelings he had thought long-lost.
“I’m angry. With myself for giving up and with Mulder for leaving all those years ago. And with myself for still not being able to get over it. And I’m scared that I’ll never not be angry. And I’m sad that being so angry for so long has cost me so much.”
She hadn’t cried but he had.
He’d cried like had the night his mom died; the guilt, the loss and the terror of loneliness rising uncontrollably from somewhere deep beneath all the healing he’d done and forcing itself free. Scully hadn’t held him like she had back then, hadn’t tried to sew him back together along the messy incisions of his grief, but she had passed him a tissue, stroked his arm and after their hour was up she had held his hand as they left.
When they reached their separate cars she smiled one of her sad smiles,
‘Between us, we must be keeping D.C.’s psychiatrists in business!’
A joke to try and soften the separation, an old tactic practiced in endless crises, but he hadn’t been able to respond in kind.
‘We probably should have done this a long time ago Scully.’
‘Mulder.’ she’d perfected the art of saying his name like a sigh. ‘There are a lot of things we should have done a long time ago.’
It’s interesting to look back and see the ones who left and the ones who stayed. Usually the ones who left hardly have anyone now, because they checked out when it got inconvenient or it was no longer about them; it became a habit to run. The ones who stayed have the deepest, truest friendships, because they persevered to the other end of that icky difficult season and found a depth that solidified from all that came before. And by staying, they made me better than I had any right to be. I think it’s okay to leave sometimes, but I hope you’ll stay for someone, because both of you could not be your best without each other. I’ll stay, even if you go.
Sam was four and had this habit of running when he got scared. Frankly Dean didn’t blame him because when it all started, he was just a little kid and he had overheard Dean talking on the phone with dad and dad had told Dean to lock the door, salt the windows and make sure that Sam was safe.
It was told in that same tone that always had Sam’s hair up on end when he heard it and when Dean turned to look at him, he bolted out the door, tears blinding his vision because he was four and scared and wanted his dad. He wanted his family. He wanted everyone where he could see them.
Dean found him after he found a way to end the conversation with his dad. He couldn’t just hang up because he didn’t want his dad to grow suspicious. He didn’t want dad to think that he wasn’t competent enough to take care of Sam. He didn’t want dad to show up and take Sam somewhere else, leave him in someone else’s care. Someone who didn’t know Sam like Dean did.
But he found Sam at the edge of the motel, sitting on the curb, arms curled around his legs, face hidden in his bony knees as his small body shook with tears.
Dean wrapped an arm around Sam as he sat down next to him and Sam curled into Dean, grabbing the front of his hoodie and held Dean as close to his body as he could.
Dean wanted to scold Sam for running like that. He needed to scold the kid for doing that… but he was just a kid. Four years old and he was scared and what else was Sam supposed to do.
So instead, Dean picked up his little brother and carried him back to their room and crawled into bed with him, letting Sam bury his head into Dean’s chest. They stayed like that until they heard the roar of the impala’s engine and Dean untangled himself from Sam and fell into the stoic, obedient son that his father needed him to be right now.
Sam was ten and dad thought that Sam was finally ready to come out on a hunt with Dean and him and Sam was ecstatic. He had been begging to go out with them ever since he learned how to hit a bullseye and Dean always promised that it would be the next hunt.
And it was finally here.
The hunt wasn’t that bad of one. Dad had managed to snag what seemed to be a simple salt and burn. Find the grave and burn the bones. Quickly, the excitement of being out on a hunt started to fade as Sam’s shirt became soaked with sweat as he worked to dig up the grave. His hands were starting to blister but Sam wasn’t going to complain. If he complained, dad was going to call him a child and if dad called him a child then he wasn’t going to let him out on another hunt.
So he kept his cries to himself and continued to dig with Dean and dad, waiting to hit the coffin.
Dad had warned him that they knew that they were close to the coffin when the spirit would show up, angry and willing to do anything to keep from being exposed and so Sam expected that.
What he didn’t expect was one second for dad to be right beside him and then the next, six feet to the right, groaning because his head hit one of the gravestones before he fell silent.
Dean called out his fathers name but he didn’t responded and Dean cursed under his breath. Dad was out cold.
Dean went back to digging, this time faster but Sam held onto his shovel, eyes wide as he looked at the spirit as it came after the two of them. And Sam did what he did best.
He dropped the shovel and ran, icy panic racing through his veins. He didn’t want to leave his brother back there at the grave. He knew that he needed to stay there, dig up that coffin and toss in those matches to set the damn thing ablaze but it was a spirit and it’s eyes were staring into his and all of the sudden Sam felt very, very small and he needed to get out of there.
Dean found him hiding behind a gravestone, curled in on himself. Once again Dean knew that he needed to scold his little brother for running out like that because it was dangerous. He couldn’t just leave Dean to fend for himself like that if he was going to be a hunter.
But Sam looked up at his big brother, eyes already red from crying and he only started to cry harder when he saw the gash that was bleeding above Dean’s eye. If only Sam had been a big boy, if only he wasn’t such a small child, Dean wouldn’t have gotten hurt.
Maybe he wasn’t ready and when dad found out that he wasn’t ready, dad was never going to let him come on hunts with them. Ever.
Except Dean didn’t tell dad that Sam ran. In fact, Dean didn’t say anything other than that he was going to have to watch out because Dean and his little brother were going to take over the family business if he wasn’t careful.
And dad clapped Sam on the back, told him good job and was none the wiser that he was the reason why Dean now had that scar over his eye.
Sam was fifteen and now he didn’t run when he heard his dad’s voice over the phone telling him to lock the doors at night and to salt the windows.
Sam was fifteen and now his hands are hardened with callouses from digging up graves and he didn’t run when the spirit came out.
However that didn’t mean that Sam had stopped running. Sam was fifteen and had just started high school, still small for his age, and he was surrounded by his peers who all they could talk about was who they loved.
You see, Sam had started running a long time ago from the things that scared him but ever since he started to get this throb of want in the lowest part of his gut anytime Dean looked at him, ever since his skin burned whenever Dean touched him, he started running from the thing that he loved.
Dad trusted Dean enough now from him to take Sam out on smaller hunts. It wasn’t a big case and they took care of it easily and now they were sprawled out on the hood of the car, drinking beer that Dean had bought with fake id’s that dad may or may not know about, looking up at the stars above.
But Sam wasn’t looking up at the sky. Instead he was looking at the profile of his perfect brother’s face, wondering why the hell he had to be his brother when he wanted to be so much more and when Dean turned to look at him, Sam’s stomach twisted into knots because Dean’s face was right there. Right fucking there, his face shining with moonlight and all Sam could think about was how it would feel to kiss his brother.
Sam jerked away, nearly falling off the car in the process but Dean grabbed his wrist, keeping him upright.
“You alright, Sammy?” Dean asked when he saw the scared look on Sam’s face and that felt like a punch to Sam’s gut.
Sammy. It was just a reminder of what they were, what Sam was to Dean. What he would always be to Dean. He was the little brother. The little brother who skinned his knees and was always a little too skinny and was nicknamed Sammy. He was the little brother who was in love with Dean.
Sam shook his head, not able to convince himself to lie because he wasn’t alright. He never was.
Sam shook his head again and Dean shifted on the hood of the car, getting a better look at Sam. And it was all the wrong things to do because Sam could see him so clearly now. The smile that had settled on Deans face had all but disappeared.
“You can tell me, Sam. You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t be mad.” Dean coaxed.
And then Sam runs because he’s in love with his brother.
He runs because he’s in love with Dean he can’t say that and he’s scared and his beautiful big brother doesn’t need to know that.
Sam’s seventeen and one of his teachers pulled him over to the side one day at school handing him a heavy packet of paper, telling him that if he wants, he’s got the brain for college and she thinks that he should consider applying.
Sam’s seventeen and he’s handed an out to run from his brother and the thoughts that’s plagued his mind for years and he takes it.
Big bang reactions when you have a habit to run your fingers through his hair
[GIFs not mine]
I wish someone would do that to me for valentine’s day -_- (tmi hahahha) Hope you like it. I had another test today and it was pretty easy (i hope it was) I think they would all love being touched on their hair if you wanted to do it tho ^.^
T.O.P Ever since he fell asleep on the couch next to you, you always run your fingers through his hair. When they had the last comeback you liked his hair even more, because it was very pink. He loved it when you massaged his head and touched his hair, but sometimes when you were too obsessive he stopped you. He hated it if you did that in public, because he thought it is a personal thing you can do only at home. “Aii… That’s so gooooooodd… BUT if you ever do this in public I won’t give you our posters anymore…”
G-Dragon He was the first one to start this habit and you just fell for it too. He went through your long brown hair a lot, saying how soft they are and how nice they smell. You did that to him when he wasn’t busy and when you were in the back seats driving to the airport or somewhere far. It relaxed him a lot and when he was stressed he just came to you to talk and you would run your fingers through his hair. “But, do you this song? I feel like it’s not complete and it just feels boring, right? I don’t know…” [this gif tho]
Taeyang He would do that to you every day and would want you to do it too. He loved the feeling when you went through his hair and complimenting it, although he knew his hairstyles are often criticized [I personally love his hairstyles bc they are awesome af] and you would give him more sweet words to make him feel better. He always felt even more loved by you when you went through his hair giving him a massage. “prrrrr…*cat purring sounds*”
Daesung He always knew you loved his hair secretly (ever since he saw all of the pictures of him and his hairstyles on your phone), but you never had the courage to really touch them so he told you to do it and he loved it. When he felt your fingers in his hair he was feeling like he’s in a paradise and an angel was touching him. ( he told you that same words way too much). He hated it when you were too busy to give him that much attention and he just had to wait. “I am in paradise. Where am I? In paradise.Woahhhhhhhhh…”
Seungri There was no doubt that he wouldn’t like being ‘petted’ or just skin-shipped in general. Skin ship he loves. He never hid that and neither did you. You were touching each other’s hair a lot and sometimes he had to make you massage his hair before the make up before the concert. It was the best massage of anyone for him and he enjoyed even if you just touched his hair and complimented him. “But when I come home your gonna be like that to my hair too, right? RIGHT? *intense look*”
alexander hamilton. basically a walking dictionary. talks too loud without noticing it, his laughter wakes everyone in the building. smells like coffee and ink. loves strongly and fiercely. the most protective of the group, always looking out for his friends, always making sure they’re okay. not too good at taking care of himself, though. friendly to all who meet him, even though it’s not hard to get on his bad side. can be soft and gentle when needed, or reckless and cold. makes too many puns, they’re usually really bad. always writing down who-knows-what in his notebooks, even when there are no notes to copy. loves knowledge and learning. could hold a witty banter for hours. has a nervous habit of running a hand through his messy hair. intolerant of anyone messing with his squad, will fight anyone who dares to hurt one of them. values loyalty above all else. tries to bring up politics in every conversation possible. knows a lot about disney. loves to read, but doesn’t do it for fun. is never scared to say what he’s thinking, which gets him into trouble a lot. tries to be nice, but every little comment tends to bother him. the hamilsquad have a “take a shot whenever alexander starts a fight” game. really bad at showing his emotions, but he tries. smart without trying. always blames the others when things go wrong, even when he knows it was definitely his fault. doesn’t quite understand science, but is endlessly fascinated by it. can talk for six hours about the same thing without getting bored. can sweet-talk his way out of almost anything. contagious excitement. prodigy in economics. non-stop, literally. always doing something, and hates leaving things unfinished. doesn’t get enough sleep so he runs on coffee; black and no sugars. will stay up until four am to finish an essay due in two weeks. extremely bad at self care, makes everyone go crazy with worry when he doesn’t sleep for days. can survive on only coffee and pasta. doesn’t do anything minimally. makes grand, full-out gestures. complete drama queen.
“It was … an unforgettable picture to see Chopin sitting at the piano like a clairvoyant, lost in his dreams; to see how his vision communicated itself through his playing, and how, at the end of each piece, he had the sad habit of running one finger over the length of the plaintive keyboard, as though to tear himself forcibly away from his dream.” - Composer Robert Schumann
sirius kept his hair long after azkaban - it was the one thing about him that prison couldn’t ruin. it grew long and shiny, it was still soft and silky. remus had a habit of running his hands through sirius’s hair, and he asked mrs weasley if she knew any charms to help tame the locks. mrs weasley smiled and told him the muggle way of braiding it would be more gentle on his scalp and remus eagerly learnt it. for the next two years, he would braid sirius’s hair, his way of saying sorry. sirius would tease him, his way of accepting the apologies, his way of showing remus he never blamed him. it was their way of reconciling and showing the other what they could never repair.
You were humming to yourself as you rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet. You were expertly navigating through the halls filled with students and ghosts and whatever other magical things stood between you and your next class. As you reached that nearly empty stairway, you smiled to yourself slightly before starting to run up the stairs. It was a thing you and your little brother had done back at home; racing up the stairs, and it had just become a habit to run up the stairs. You were humming an interchangeable theme you had made up consisting of Eye of the Tiger and Another One Bites the Dust. You expertly skipped over the disappearing step and counted down in your mind. 3, 2, 1. And as soon as you counted to 1, the staircase swapped. But, expecting that you smiled under your breath before singing softly to Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don’t wanna die,
Sometimes I wished I’d never been born at all!”
You sang the guitar solo; the transition into the middle portion as you stepped off the stairway on the 4th floor. You then headed to your left before running down the hall. You certainly didn’t want to be late. As you neared closer you started singing AC/DC’s, Highway to Hell.
“I’m on the, HIGHWAY TO HELL!!!!!
On the, HIGHWAY TO HELL!!!”
You did believe that seeing as how you were heading to charms class. While, you didn’t hate charms, but you always had trouble at grasping at what the roots of the charms meant, and how all their properties fit together. It’s not that you were a Ravenclaw and had to know everything about everything, but seeing as how you were the embodiment of Hufflepuff qualities; kind, loyal and hardworking, you wanted to make sure you understood everything to a certain degree, but no matter how hard you worked, or how much you studied you could never remember why the spells did what they did, and that was always crucial on tests. This is where being muggle-born did not help. You could understand math, science and engineering perfectly well, but it was still hard to grasp your mind around magic.
Your singing slowly died down to the point that you were humming Twist and Shout to yourself as you walked into the classroom.
You sighed as you slumped into your chair, a few minutes early.
“Hey (Y/N).” Your friend Remus Lupin said as he walked past you to his seat offering you a warm and crooked smile. You sat up a little and widely smiled back at him. It had taken you a long time, but you were in love with those cheesy smiles of his.
His friends: James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew walked on right past you, without sparing you a look. You got along with them, sure; but you weren’t particularly close to any of them. You had gotten close to Remus because the both of you spent so much time studying in the library.
“Ugh.” You heard your best friend and desk mate groan as she slipped into the chair next to you. Your lips formed a tight smile threatening to release you laughter and your (E/C) eyes were dancing with amusement. The redhead next to you groaned again and this time it elicited a laugh from you.
“What was it this time?” You asked with a chuckle.
“He bought flowers.” She moaned dejectedly.
You laughed a bit, slightly confused. “Well, that’s a bit romantic. I’ll say he’s learning a bit. In a few years he’ll get you to go out with him.” You let out a hearty laugh at the thought of James and Lily dating. It was absolutely absurd!
She moaned in frustration. Her head was in her hands, her fingers digging lightly at her scalp. “Don’t give him any ideas!” She scolded.
You laughed a bit at your friend’s misfortune. You felt sorry for her, but it was all very amusing. But of course, Lily didn’t think that, so you did your best to keep it to yourself.
Lily took a deep sigh before looking at you. Her cheeks were tinged pink and she quickly hid her face in her hands again. She took a sigh before whispering so soft, that if you weren’t so close you wouldn’t have heard it: “He sent me lilies.”
You looked at her with a look crossed between amusement, embarrassment and confusion. Seeing Lily worked up over something so minor was very amusing, but you could sense her embarrassment, and seeing as she was your best friend you shared her feeling of embarrassment. But the whole situation was confusing as hell to you, so you very smartly replied; “Huh?”
She moved her hands slightly away from her face and said a bit louder, “He sent me lilies.” Her voice was shaky and she sounded absolutely mortified.
You saw that it was obviously distressing her, so you decided to offer comfort in one of the only ways you knew how. “Do you want me to kill him for you?” You asked, perfectly serious.
“(Y/N)!” Lily said with the intensity of a yell, looking even more mortified.
You put your hands up in defeat. “Okay, I won’t kill him.” You said.
“Miss (Y/L/N), if you were to kill anyone, it would cost you 500 house points and an expulsion. Not to mention, it’s bad for morals.” Professor McGonagall said while walking into the classroom with Professor Flitwick by her side.
Your face burned a bit a being heard. “But what if it were Potter?” You ask, as a joke.
Most of the class laughed a bit ignoring the indignant, “Hey” from James.
Her lips curled up into a tight smile. “That would be the exception.”
Most of the class fell silent and looked at her with shock, but your exuberant laugh cut through the silence and soon the whole classroom, including James, was laughing.
Despite that, the class went on without a problem.
You were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, because you and Lily had been studying together for the upcoming midyears. She had said that she was going to go get something, and quickly ran up the stair towards the dorms.
You were fine with that, because you could finally concentrate better. You were sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the heavily cushioned sofa with your back at an angle in the corner where the back and armrest meet. On your left knee your textbook was flipped open to a page in the middle and teetering slightly. Your textbook had sticky notes stuck haphazardly on the pages; helping you mark your key points and information that was needed for your potions essay. On your right knee you had a spiral bound notebook open and you were marking up the rough draft of your potions essay.
Your hair was pulled out of your face as you were transcribing your notes. You bit your lip; it was a habit you had developed and it helped you concentrate. You were humming Dream On under your breath and relishing in the sound of the fire crackling and the smell of wood burning. There were few people in the common room, so you could hear the dullness of the chatter, only helping you concentrate even more. For you it was the ideal working condition; the only thing that could have made it better would be the soft patter of raindrops against the stone roof.
It was all so soothing, that you were surprised when you were able to make out a muffled conversation.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be alright?” You heard the hushed whisper of Lily’s voice.
“Why? Worried?” You could hear the teasing voice of Sirius.
“Yes!” Lily whisper yelled. “Not just about you. About all of you.”
“We’ll be fine.” You heard the voice of Peter Pettigrew say.
“Well, excuse me if I’m not completely reassured.” She said sassily, with a bit of concern. You knew her so well that you could hear the fear and worry in her voice.
Your interest had been peaked, but you knew that this was not a conversation you were supposed to hear or know about, so when Lily came back and sat on the opposite side of the sofa, you did not bring it up. Besides you had a sneaking suspicion about what it was about.
Five minutes later the Marauders walked into the common room.
“Hey girls.” Sirius said. James looked over and acknowledged you and Lily with a nod. In between them was Remus who looked very pale and looked very tired. Peter was behind them looking nervous and slightly discombobulated.
“Guys. We need to go. Now.” Peter said forcefully.
“Right.” Sirius and James said in unison. The four of them quickly walked out of the room and out of the common room.
Your curiosity was still captivating you. You had your own suspicions about what was happening; you had had them for quite awhile, but had never before had the chance to inspect them. Deeming that this was the perfect moment, you faked a yawn.You stretched your arms up and stood up. You picked up your things and packed them into your bag.
“Night, Lils.” You said, faking another yawn. “Think I’m gonna hit the hay.” You said turning around and walking out of the common room.
As soon as you were out you could hear the pounding of feet and the urgent whispers. You looked over the staircase and saw the group of boys nearing the exist of the building. You quickly ran down the stair, while being sure to be quiet enough that they wouldn’t hear you. By the time you had reached the entrance the boys were at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
You quickly ran across the field towards the forest. When you got there you couldn’t find any sign of the boys’ presence. You listened carefully and heard worried whispers. You quickly followed the voices. You finally caught up enough that you could see them, when they had entered a clearing close to the school by the Whomping Willow.
You heard them more clearly.
“Peter hurry up!” James urged.
“We don’t have a lot of time!” Added Sirius.
“We have about 10 minutes! Go!”
With that Peter’s form changed. He shrunk considerably and became harrier. He soon took the form of a rat.
You had been misjudging how close you were to the boys and even though you had suspicions that Remus was a werewolf and his friends were helping him with the process of a full moon, to see that they had become animagi was quite surprising, so when you gasped in shock four heads whipped around in your direction.
“(Y/N).” Remus wheezed.
“(Y/N), get the fuck out of here.” Sirius all but growled out.
Ignoring him you stepped closer to Remus and looked him in the eyes.
“You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?” You asked carefully.
His green eyes widened in shock. He slowly shook his head, looking absolutely mortified. “How…How long have you known?” He wheezed out.
“Since first year.” You replied looking into his eyes.
“Get away.” All of them told you.
“I might hurt you.”
You brought your hand up and gently cupped his face and looked into his green eyes with your eyebrows furrowed and a determined look in your eyes. “You won’t.” You told him. “You, Remus Lupin, would never hurt anyone.”
“I’m a monster.” He wheezed out, looking even more scared.
You took off your eyes from him and looked around at his friends. “Turn into your animagus forms now. Don’t look so shocked, Sirius, yes, I know.”
You then turned back to Remus with a look of anger in your eyes. You slapped him across the face. “Don’t you dare care yourself a monster.” You said in a dangerously low voice. “You are the furthest thing from a monster.”
“I hurt people.” He wheezed out. “You need to go.” He said looking terrified.
“That’s not you. It’s something that happens to you that you have no control of.” You told him, your glare softening. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna stay here with you.” You told him, your tone leaving no room for arguing.
“You need to leave. I’m gonna hurt you.” It sounded more difficult for him to talk.
“No. I’m not leaving you. I’m here to stay. I’m not gonna let you suffer alone. I’ll always be here.” You said.
His eyes slowly glazed over and his body started changing. “Go.” He managed to say. What you did instead was remove your hand from his face and take 3 steps back. He let back his head and let out a howl. He looked at you, snarling and baring his teeth. You were a bit scared, but you knew that you couldn’t be for Remus’ sake. He still had the same green eyes, and you looked into them and instantly saw his pain.
“Remus.” You called out softly, your (E/C) soft.
He snarled at you and stepped closer.
“Remus, I know you’re in there.” You said looking into his green eyes.
He snarled some more and bared his fangs, drool glistening from them and splattering the ground.
“Remus, you’re not a monster.” You said softly, foolishly taking a step closer.
He growled at you, as you moved.
You put your hands up and stopped moving, barely daring to take a breath.
“Remus.” You whispered. “You’re a good person. The best I know. You didn’t deserve this curse. You don’t deserve any of this.” You slowly lower your hands and slowly inch forward.
He growled again, this time more menacingly. You ignored it and stepped closer. You were less than half a foot away from him and he growled at you again and opened his mouth, and looked as if he were preparing to devour you.
“You’re a very good person, who bad things have happened to.” As soon as those words came out of your mouth he stopped growling and looked at you quizzically, his green eyes becoming less foggy.
“I know you can hear me, Remus.” You slowly reached out your hand, as if to pet him. He growled a bit, so you stopped moving your hand.
“I know you think that you need to do this by yourself.” You half smiled. “But you don’t.” You said, your eyes watering up. “You have wonderful friends who protect you and who care about you.” You moved a little closer. You half-smiled again, before scoffing softly. “In the muggle world, we have a song about friendship. I love it so much. And I know that you will appreciate the timing of it.” You said, before moving your hand somewhat closer.
“Sometimes in our lives,
We all have pain,
We all have sorrow.
But if we are not wise,
We know that there’s
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long ‘til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on.
Please swallow your pride
If I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs
That you won’t let show.
You just call on me, brother,
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem
That you’ll understand,
We all need somebody to lean on.
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long 'til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
You just call on me, brother,
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem
That you’ll understand,
We all need somebody to lean on.
If there is a load
You have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me.
By the time you had finished singing, you had managed to place your hand on his head without any trouble. His eyes were clear and he looked super tired. He quickly circled around a patch of grass and lied down and closed his eyes. You smiled to yourself, before turning around to leave.
As soon as you were leaving, Remus whined so you turned around and saw him looking so sad that you were leaving. Chuckling to yourself, you walked back to him, slowly carefully as to not hurt or scare him. You reached out slowly and managed to touch his head again. You pet him, before he bumped your leg with his snout. Giggling slightly, you sat down in the patch of grass, and he wagged his tail before lying down next to you, placing his head in your lap and snuggling into your body. You giggled again before your hands started massaging behind his ears and petting him. You hummed Stairway to Heaven as you ran your hands through his fur. In a few minutes he was snoring lightly. You giggled, finding it very cute and so Remus-like.
James, Sirius and Peter were still around in their animagus forms looking at you with such shock. You smiled warmly at them before whispering, “You guys go back to bed. You deserve it. I’ll stay here.”
They all turned back human. They returned your smile.
“Thanks, (Y/N).” James whisper.
“You were fucking amazing!” Peter whispered enthusiastically.
“You better tell us how you did that.” Sirius whispered.
You laughed a bit. “Tomorrow.” You said. “Now, get.” You said while making a shooing motion with your hand.
“Night, (Y/N/N).” They whispered collectively.
That night you fell asleep playing with his fur, smiling at how you had managed to help the boy you had fallen in love with.
Little did you know, that he fell asleep feeling the exact same way.
At the Gryffindor table three unfortunate boys were sitting across from the pissed off redhead best friend of the girl they were currently talking about. All the boys looked extremely nervous and were far too pale to be considered healthy. They sat across from the seething redhead, planning their funerals.
“What do you mean, (Y/N) followed you last night?” Lily asked, raging at the poor boys who had unfortunately been the bearer of bad news.
“I mean, she followed us.” James repeated slowly.
“Well then, where the hell is she!?” Lily, all but screamed at them.
They looked between each other, scared shitless. They all swallowed before speaking at the same time, “We don’t know.”
“You don’t bloody KNOW!?” Lily screamed at them. They all cringed, and were preparing for their deaths.
Lily took a deep breath and calmed herself down before asking, “Well, where was she last?”
The color drained from their faces as they realized that they were facing inevitable doom. They gulped nervously; James fiddling with his tie, Sirius looking at anywhere but Lily and Peter chewing his fingernails.
“Well?” Lily asked, rather impatiently.
They were ready to die before Sirius broke out into a huge grin. “She’s over there.” He said motioning with his head.
Lily quickly turned around and glared at you. You had a look of confusion and you were slightly terrified by the look your best friend was giving you. “Hello?”
She motions to the seat next to her. You quickly sit next to her. Before you knew what was happening she hugged you tightly and then slapped you behind the head. “What the bloody hell were you thinking, you idiot!? Do you know how worried I was!? And then these three boneheads couldn’t tell me anything useful! I thought you were dead!”
You just stared at her as she yelled at you unsure of what to do.
She glared at you, waiting for an explanation. “Well?” She demands. “What the hell were you thinking?”
You give her an ‘are-you-fucking-serious?’ look before rolling your eyes and replying, “I was thinking, that I can’t let my friend suffer by himself. That I have to be a good friend and help him as much as I can.” You replied in a bitchy way.
“Speaking of which,” James said, intervening in our conversation, “How did you do it?”
“Honestly,” You started looking at him, “I treated him as if I were meeting a new dog.”
They all looked at you with a look of confusion and surprise.
“You treated him, as if you were meeting a dog?” Lily asked.
“So where is dog-boy now?” Sirius asked, with a large grin.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Aren’t you dog-boy?”
As soon as you had said that, James and Peter choked on their food, before bursting into laughter.
“Moony better marry you.” James said, laughing so hard that he was tearing up a little.
You blushed a little at hearing that. “Shut up.” You said, while simultaneously kicking James under the table.
“Ow!” He yelled. “What the hell?”
You gave him an innocent look. “What are you talking about, James?”
“You know bloody well. Why are you so goddamn violent?” He asked, rubbing his sore shin.
“Because I’m a violent creature.” You said with a fake smile. “Next question.”
“What the bloody hell happened after we left?” Sirius asked.
“Well, as you should remember, Remus fell asleep on me. I ended up falling asleep where we were. I woke up at dawn and remember what had happened last night and realized that Remus had changed back. So I woke him up and helped him get back to the dorms, and then I got ready and came to breakfast, and got attacked by you guys… So, ya.” You popped your lips, a habit you had developed when you felt nervous or awkward talking.
“So,” Sirius drawled out, “Do you know where he is?”
You shook your head. You smiled awkwardly before speaking again. “So, do you guys have anymore questions, or am I allowed to eat in peace?” There was a pregnant silence. “I’m gonna assume that that means that I can eat.”
You grabbed a plate and piled some food on it, before the group started to make conversation. The conversation had began with laughing at James’ failed attempt to ask Lily out, Sirius’ new girlfriend from Ravenclaw, which had slowly transitioned into schoolwork.
“So, have you guys started the potions essay yet?” You ask.
“Nope.” Was the collective response.
“You need to start soon.”
“It’s due in 2 weeks.” Peter pointed out.
“It’s worth half our grade.”
“So?” Sirius asked.
“Yeah, since when do we care about our grades?” James followed up.
You rolled your eyes and Lily vocalized your thoughts. “What idiots.”
You looked up from the table when you heard the familiar screech of owls arriving with the post. Looking up you saw the boy who had fallen asleep in your lap the night before. Standing up slightly you motioned him over. “Remus!” When he was close enough, you grabbed him arm and pulled him so that he was standing next to you, on the outside of the wooden bench.
“Tell these idiots,” You said, motioning with your head towards James, Sirius and Peter, “That they need to work on their poti-”
But before you could finish, Remus crashed his lips to yours. Your eyes widened in surprise and your body stiffened. Almost immediately, you relaxed and closed your eyes kissing him back with everything you had. Your hand that wasn’t on his arm wrapped around his neck, while his arm walked around your waist. You both pulled away reluctantly, and you removed your arm from his neck, as he released you waist.
There was a heavy blush on your cheeks as you sat down. Your arm was still wrapped around Remus’ so you tugged on his arm forcing him to sit down next to you.
He smiled at you, his face heavily blushed as yours, and you could feel the corners of your mouth turn up slightly. “Thanks.” He said.
“No problem?” You asked, your voice an octave higher than normal, unsure of what he was thanking you for.
He laughed nervously, his face turning more pink. “Thanks for taking care of me.” He clarified.
You giggled a bit. “No problem. It was my pleasure.”
“Ugh. You two are so cute, it’s sickening.” Sirius whined, interrupting the moment.
“Just date already!” Lily huffed in annoyance.
You felt your cheeks burn even more. “Stop it, okay. You guys are just making a friendship awkward. I mean, you never know if Remus finds it offensive or annoying.”
“He kissed you.” James pointed out in a bored voice.
Your cheeks burned even more. “It was probably just a heat of the moment thing.” You said, looking down at your hands which were tangling themselves together. Saying that broke your heart a bit.
Next to you, you heard Remus laugh humorlessly. “I kissed you because I wanted to thank you and wanted to let you know that I fancy you. I thought that you liked me back because you kissed back. I guess not.” He stood up and grabbed his bag. “I’m sorry the idea of us being together upsets you.” He then walked past you towards the entrance.
Your eyes widened at all the process your brain was taking in. You couldn’t believe that Remus liked you back! But then you said something stupid which made him take something the wrong way. You processed all the information rather quickly, and stood up and quickly ran after him. “Remus!”
He ignored you, and continued walking. You ran faster, determined to catch up to him. You managed to catch up to him, relatively quickly and stood in front of him, hands on your knees while you were catching your breath.
“Remember the song I sang yesterday?” You ask him.
“Go away, (Y/N).” He said, trying to push past you.
“Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long 'til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on” You sang. “Remus, I mean every word of that. I want to be there for you.”
“Sure you do.” He said, rolling his eyes. “Now move out of the way.”
“Remus. You misinterpreted what I said. I was so happy when you kissed me, but I thought you could never possibly fancy me, so I told them to stop by saying that it was making you uncomfortable.”
“No, it’s fine, (Y/N). I get it. You can’t see yourself with a monster like myself.”
You felt your eyes water. “You’re not a monster, Remus.” You said, your voice quivering slightly. “You’re the most amazing boy on the planet.”
His eyes widened when he say your tears and heard your shaky voice. “Shit, shit, shit. I’m sorry, (Y/N).” His green eyes filled with fear. “Please don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”
He kept on repeating that until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to your height, crashing your lips against his. You tried to convey to him how special you thought he was through that kiss. He responded with equal force, on hand wrapping around your waist, the other cupping the back of your neck. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and played with the short brown hairs there. You both stood there for minutes, engaged in a furious lip lock, both trying to convey your feelings for each other. When you separated, you were both smiling immensely and you leaned your foreheads against each other.
“You look really cute when you blush.” Remus said, smiling. You smiled back and gave him a chaste kiss.
“You’re really cute when you stutter.” You said softly, smiling up at the boy you so desperately adored. He leaned down and placed a kiss on your nose, causing you to giggle.
You brought your lips to his again, and while the other kiss was forceful and passionate this one was much sweeter and delicate. Not wanting to stop kissing, you both butterfly-kissed each other until the need for oxygen became too great.
You both returned to your normal height and smiled at each other, you hands interlocking. You stood on your tiptoes and placed a butterfly-kiss on his cheek, before saying, “Go to Hogsmeade with me.”
He chuckled before placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Of course, Sweetheart.”
Sounds cool, maybe I'll get back into it. Also while Samurai Jack is a great show I might recommend only watching a few episodes to understand enough to watch the new season, the show was extremely episodic and you could probably get away with watching the 3 parter into and select other episodes to be up to speed. This is mostly just if you want to cash in on the new season's hype before it ends though.
Naww, it’s okay, we want something to fill up ours time anyway