Saudade [ 1.5 ]
A/N; I am currently re-writing Saudade’s second part because I felt like it was too messy and I wanted to calm things down. So here are a few key point memories readers might need as the story keeps going. I ended up screwing things up and making this messy as hell but Enjoy :)
〉 ғᴛ. ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴɢ
May 15, 2009
How did you get here? Your head hurt and your eyes could barely comprehend the lights and people. Out of all people, you, had been dragged into a party hosted by one of the major fuckboy’s at school. You had heard his name around a few times here and there. Still, you didn’t have any classes with him so there was so point in knowing.
After being dragged by your friend, Jane, you had no choice. For about 40 minutes, you sat in the same chair at the same table in the corner. You clutched onto the untouched drink, changing position when your hand became a little too sweaty.
“Hey, why’re you all alone?” You heard from in front of you. You looked up, surprised to see none other then Jeon Jungkook. He was one of Jane’s ‘friends.’ You didn’t know too much about him but you knew he was handsome enough to be another fuckboy aching to get his hands on you or any other girl in this room.
“I’m not good with parties.” You shrugged, talking above the music. The boy pulled up a chair, staring at you the whole time.
“The owner of this place is one of my best friends. He has a mini movie theater upstairs, we could just watch a movie if you like?” Jungkook asked, taking a sip from his own drink.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll just sit here a bit more.” It would be a lie if you said you really didn’t want to go upstairs with him. He seemed peaceful enough and those features were hypnotizing. Still, you didn’t know just what else Jungkook had up his sleeves.
“I know you’re bored. Just come with me, please? I’m not in the mood to fuck and I just wanna pretend I’m leaving with you so everyone will stop bothering me.” He sighed, throwing his empty cup across the room. You thought for a minute. He seemed reasonable enough.
“Alright. But don’t try anything funny on me.” You warned him, standing up. Jungkook nodded like a little puppy, springing up from his seat as well. He led you upstairs and to a dark room. The room had a movie player, a box of CDs, snacks and drink boxes, and blankets and pillows. You were taken back, the room was simple but so full.
“What do you wanna watch?” Jungkook asked, looking through the box of CDs.
“Anything is fine. You can pick whatever.” Jungkook nodded at your reply, instantly picking out a cd.
“Iron man.” He revealed, causing you to chuckle softly. Jungkook put the cd into the player and set everything up. Jungkook seemed to have been familiar to everything. He knew where the coziness blankets were, the best snacks and drinks, the perfect place to sit, and he even knew how to control the volume just enough so no one could hear the movie outside. Halfway through the movie, Jungkook turned to you.
“Y/N? Why don’t you trust me?” You turned to him, surprised. Had you really made it obvious when you hesitated to join him downstairs?
“Well…” You started, “I guess it’s because of your reputation. Sort of. I mean-” You were cut off as Jungkook kissed you, you were taken aback. Luckily, you reacted quickly a pulled away.
“Jungkook, what the hell?” You stared at him, shocked. Jungkook laughed softly.
“Y/N, I really, really like you. I’ve liked you from the day my eyes laid on you. So will you be my girlfriend?” The words escaped Jungkook so easily. You looked away, taking a deep breath.
“Jungkook, I want my first relationship to be with someone I love. Not someone who will use me.” The words seemed to surprise Jungkook. Then there was hurt that flashed in his eyes.
“How do you know I’ll use you?” Jungkook’s time had changed. You looked up, watching Jungkook’s expression darken.
“T-that’s not what I meant-” you were cut off as Jungkook leaned in. He didn’t kiss you but his face was just centimeters away.
“How do you know I’ll use you?” Jungkook repeated, making you open your mouth to say something, though nothing came out.
“I don’t.” You whispered reluctantly. Jungkook let out a satisfied grin, his playful behavior coming back.
“Be my girlfriend for one week. That’s all I ask.”
June 12, 2012
“Jungkook, shouldn’t you be out looking for your mate? Why would you spend time with someone as random as me?” You knew you were testing waters as you drove the conversation into a serious subject. It was a touchy subject for Jungkook. He didn’t like the idea that one day, he might have to leave you for some stranger. Or at least that’s what he said.
“Y/N. We talked about this.” Jungkook rubbed his face, sighing into his hands. Tonight was supposed to be special. Both of you were laying the grass in a dark forest a few miles from Busan. Visiting Jungkook’s hometown had been fun but he’d definitely wanted to try something new. So he planned to run away with you at midnight. Just for a few hours. So here both of you laid, staring at the glimmering stars.
“Jungkook, we can’t keep avoiding it.” You heard him wriggle in uncomfortableness. There was a pause for a few seconds. You hard the faint noises of night creatures from around the trees as Jungkook silenced.
“I know,” he started “But I don’t know about mating right now. After all, we’re both young. I still have time.” You nodded, although you wanted to keep pushing. Before any other statement was released into the awkward air, Jungkook rolled over and hugged you.
“I love you.” He whispered, making your heart race. “You know that, right?” You merely let out a nod, receiving a kiss. The soft kiss made your body heat up, you were thankful the night was dark and Jungkook probably couldn’t see your blush well.
August 27, 2013
“Jungkook? I’m home!” You called out, knocking on the door of your apartment. You’d expected him to run to the door and open it but there was only a silence that greeted you. Then you remembered: It was Jungkook’s heat. The boys had texted you about it, advising you should probably not go into the basement when you came home. You chuckled to yourself, grabbing your keys from your bag. You quickly opened the door and took your shoes off, yawning softly as you did so. Then you saw it.
There was a shoe you’d never seen before. Both you and Jungkook never really brought a lot of shoes and you doubted these heels were his.
Maybe one of the boys’ girlfriends came over to check on Jungkook for them. Your heart was racing. You slowly took out your phone, entering the group chat both of boys and you kept together.
[ Sent; 3:14 ] - Guys, is anyone’s girl coming to check on Kook? There’s an unknown shoe here… You desperately wished they would reply with a yes, however, all you earned was shock.
[ Sent; 3:17 ] - Tae Tae - Fuck. Y/N. Stay there. Don’t move.
[ Sent; 3:17 ] - Joon - We’re coming. Stay put.
You ran a hand through your hair, trying to think optimistically. After what felt like forever, the boys arrived. One by one, they knocked on the door and you invited them in. No one had their regular smiles though.
“I’ll go check on Jungkook, I’m sure he’s fine. It may just be his mom. We told her he was on heat and she didn’t reply but she did say once, she’d come down to see him one day.” Taehyung reasoned, the boys nodded but you could see Taehyung was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you.
“I’ll go with you.” As you heard protests rise, there was a girl’s voice. Somewhere, it was muffled but it was enough to get you running upstairs.
“Y/N, wai-” Someone tugged your wrist, forcing you to face them.
“Taehyung, what if he’s really up there making out with another girl?” You could already feel the tears threatening to fall down.
“It’s fine, Y/N. Jungkook would never do that. You’re special to him. We all know that.” You blinked the tears away as Taehyung soothed you.
“H-how do you know I’m special to him? I’m just a girl-” Taehyung cut you off as he laughed. You looked to him in confusion.
“You’re not just a girl, Y/N. You’re the one he loves. You’re the girl he wouldn’t leave for anyone or anything. You’re special Y/N. You truly make him happy.” The words made you smile softly.
“Thanks, Taehyung. You always know what to say.” Taehyung gave you a gigantic box smile and walked up the stairs with you. Looking back, you should’ve stopped. Maybe you should’ve kissed Taehyung there. He was obviously better then anything Jungkook could ever be. Taehyung opened the door a crack then stopped.
“What is it Tae? Is Jungkook in there?” Taehyung turned to you and nodded slowly. The color seemed to have drained from his face. You stared at him, anxious.
“What is it? Let me see!” You fought to open the door but Taehyung was taller then you. He blocked you from swinging the door.
“You’ll hate him.” Then it hit you. The words that Taehyung had said, they disappeared from your brain.
“I-is it enough for you to hate him?” You asked, stuttering whilst talking. The brown haired man just nodded.
“It’s okay, Taehyung,” you softly mumbled. Taehyung lifted your chin with his fingers.
“I might kill him.” Taehyung muttered, staring into your eyes. You closed your eyes and let out a small nod. Taehyung immediately turned and swung the door open. Both of you stared as Jungkook broke away from the unknown girl.
“I can’t believe this.” You gasped, blinking several times. The sight was so unbelievable. You barely saw a Taehyung as he flung himself to Jungkook. You heard the girl scream and your mind went blank for a moment. Quickly, you reacted and help the girl up, sending her out of the door. You heard Taehyung crashing into the wall and you yelped, backing away. You crawled over to Taehyung, trembling.
“T-Taehyung, you’ll be fine. Just don’t move, I’m sure the boys are coming-” you were cut short as Jungkook grabbed your wrist.
“Don’t. Touch. Anyone. Else.” The words made you furious, you chuckled unhumorously.
“That’s rich coming from you, Jungkook. You just cheated on me while I was out on a business trip in our own house.” Talking to wild Jungkook was sort of like talking to a wall. There was a short silence then Jungkook’s grip loosened. You took the chance to run.
“Namjoon! Jin?! Guys!” You yelled from upstairs, legs jello. They couldn’t hear you though. With no choice, you took out your phone and searched your contacts, looking for one of the boys. You could feel Jungkook coming back, he could come out of that room and jump on you at any given moment. The thought terrified you. You clicked on Namjoon’s number, praying he’d pick up.
“Hello?” The familiar voice made you sigh in relief.
“J-Jungkook. He’s wild.” You whispered, you whole body shaking. The call ended as soon as you whispered those three words. In minutes, Namjoon and the boys were upstairs, holding Jungkook back. And all you could do was watch you cheater boyfriend struggle and fight.
August 27, 2015
“Y/N? Why aren’t these files finished?” Your boss’s face was pink as she did her best to maintain the anger. You blinked, taking a moment to comprehend the words.
“Huh? Oh- I- I’m terribly sorry. My mind is somewhere else today, I just-” your boss cuts in as you jumble on.
“Y/N, it’s always August 27.” To another person, the words may have been confusing and oddly placed. To you, the words made perfect sense. They made more sense then the weather man who would always talk about the morning skies with words you could not understand.
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled. What else could you say? There was really nothing else to be said. You had no reason to be like this. Especially because the breakup was two years ago. The wound in your heart should have mended but why did it feel so fresh?
“Just,” your boss started “Just leave. You obviously can’t work on the 27th of August for some reason. You’re lucky you’re considered a favorite of mine. I’m letting you go today.”
“Thank you, Ms. Kim.”