Every runner has their own rituals while preparing for a mission.
When Five prepares for battle mode, they shave their head. They used to do so in private, at MMB, but there is no privacy in Able. Runners are buzzing around them like a hive, having their own little rituals.
Yao’s there, too. His ritual is to join them, because he likes to see their faces before sending them off.
If he’s not there, they seek him out. Because their rituals aren’t the same anymore, without one Sam Yao in it.
Some really quick (not so quick) Zombies Run fanart of Runner 8 and 7
I’ll get around to figuring out what in the hey Sam looks like (still not quite happy with my other sketches) and what my style is eventually. Also I’m so glad everyone headcanon’s Runner 7 as Idris Elba bc that’s my head canon too (still working on making him look like him more >_>)
Before and after photos from this morning’s big 20-miler downtown with all CES locations. It was a pretty hot one once the sun came out, but overall went well.
You’ll have to take ~45 secs off the total because I forgot to pause my watch at one of the water stops. I was supposed to pace 7:00 runners, but no one seemed interested at the start. By mile 5, another guy was ready, so we zipped through the rest together with two long surges.
This was slower than the last couple years, probably due to the conservative start. Would have been a better test of my own abilities to gun it the whole way, but I’m happy with the faster segments and also healthy!
The similarities are equal, regarding feelings. The ‘runner’ experiences the same heartfelt sensations, and also constantly think about his true love, but ‘confusion’ plays a part here too: their peace and quiet of their comfort zone is taken away from them. And when restlessness and / or losing control is involved, the Runner rather retreats within himself.
Also, the Runner rather has little to peck at, than surrender to love. Intense feelings are absolutely there, but words like: love, relationship, commitment, obligations and phrases like ‘I want to see you’, or ‘I am longing for you’ cause the Runner to petrify in fear. Fleeing or retreating is his only (thinkable) solution.
Fear torments feelings, and silences love. And that makes him frustrated, to the bone. You see, even the RUNNER would want nothing more than to be with you (the aware one), to experience that unity -in the physical-. But as soon as they have decided to get in the car (to actually go and see you), they turn around within five minutes, in a matter of speaking. They hit the brakes. And the urge to hit the brakes overcomes the urge to step on the gas.
Spontaneous time spent together are not possible, it will cause every hair on his neck to stand up straight, because ‘he won’t be able to prepare mentally’. A time needs to be announced in advance, and he will only follow through with it if he feels 100 % centered in his strength (a pimple, cold sores, or bad hair days will cause him to cancel immediately).
Frustration, fear and confusion is what the Runner feels almost daily.
The feeling of ‘WANTING, but now knowing HOW and WHEN’ drives them insane. It makes them unsure, and sad.
Runners suffer, because they know they are cutting themselves short. They know they are lying to themselves. But they don’t see a way out, simply because the truth HAS to be a lie.
He loves you with all his heart, but he truly has no idea what to do. Runners cling to their safe life, because it’s clear to them; recognizable, manageable and passable. Anything outside of this safe frame is ‘not done’, and so the daily worries like work, keeping a family going (etcetera), are safe. That’s where the Runner finds his rest, from his mind, from him taking action to be with you. However, during these daily worries his true love takes over his head. So even you, as the aware one, are in his thoughts 24 / 7.
The Runner dreams about you, so he keeps getting connected to you. But then, he wakes up and he shouts: “go away” or “I don’t want this”, and then follows through with “I love you, but I don’t want this”.’.
Fear and anger also create the opportunity to hit you where it hurts. The harder, the clearer. They truly don’t want to lose you, they just want everything to feel safe. And the only way to achieve that, is to push you away, with all his might. And afterwards, he regrets his actions, but well.. He will continue to do so until he has come to accept himself being even more safe with you than in his safety zone.
In short, the Runner gets flooded daily with shame, insecurity, frustration, fear (to fail). Not realizing in the moment that he is failing but not allowing himself to follow his heart. He wants easy answers, safe answers, but on the other hand he longs for you intensely.
Actually, the Runner wants to make love to you every moment of every day, but taking responsibility for a relationship (the so called ‘committing’) of surrendering to love? NO WAY, that is not safe.
How Runners think? “I would rather jump out of an air plane in a parachute, than taking a leap of faith with my true love.”
The runner will need to slow down, stop allowing himself to run when his safe zone begins to feel breached. Taking the necessary steps forward to assure his confusion begins to know what his heart is already telling him, before he completely destroys the purest love he will ever encounter.