“I can’t get near you. You’ve got agents on you at all times, plus bugs in your apartment and a tracker on your bike.” Steve felt rage rising up in him—how dare they, who the hell did they think they—and Bucky’s gloved hand landed on his arm. “It’s me.” Bucky’s mouth twisted unhappily. “It’s me they’re trying to protect you from.“
i. eventually we find our way- trent reznor & atticus ross
"Act normal,” Bucky told him. “We’re being watched by one, two—at least three agents.”
ii. flicker- lorde
Steve didn’t pay a lot of attention to his environment—he walked around in a bubble, separate and a little lost. It worked the other way, too: Steve should have been a conspicuous figure, six foot two and handsome as he was, but the eye sort of slid over him; people walked around him like he wasn’t there, didn’t exist.
One ghost would attract another, she thought.
iii. bahnhof rumble- the chemical brothers
“I want that picture,” she told the guard. “Get me a printout of that,” and then she was opening a secure line to the team and giving the order, “Bring it down to a four minute window. Rogers goes off the grid for more than four minutes, I want to know about it—and I want a team standing by, armed and ready to take the Winter Soldier down."
iv. kiss and swallow- iamx
"I need you,” Natasha said into her phone, and twenty minutes later there was a knock on her door and he was there.
v. lurk- the neighbourhood
There was something about being in New York, though: he felt it the second he stepped onto the platform at Penn. Above him, paint peeled away from rusted girders that had been there long before he’d gone into the ice, and he realized with a start that he felt competent again, and confident; Bucky’d given them the home field advantage.
vi. the gentle hum of anxiety- trent reznor & atticus ross
“He’ll come to you,” Barton said flatly. “If he hasn’t already. Has he?”
Steve was ready with a question of his own. “This job of yours—it’s me, isn’t it,” and Barton’s poker face was much, much better than his, but no matter. “It’s all right,” he told Barton, and meant it. “I understand. Really I do.”
vii. bloodsport- sneaker pimps
“I looked for you,” Steve muttered over his shoulder. “I looked everywherefor you.”
Bucky’s mouth was almost on his ear. “I know,” he said. “I was watching. I wanted to see how you were.”
They rode along in silence for a minute.
“Turns out there’s lots of people watching you,” Bucky muttered.
viii. black noise- nine inch nails
“I’m telling you, it’s best if Steve never finds him,” Natasha said. “It’s best if Barnes just goes away.”
ix. stop me- natalia kills
Compared to that maze, Grand Central’s layout was simple.
The only tricky part was that Bucky’d directed him to maps from three different years, and he realized that Bucky wanted him to superimpose them, in his mind—to see where the dingy corridors of yesteryear lay within the shiny restorations of today. Like so much of the city, Grand Central was composed of layers upon layers, not just in space but in time: tunnels and service corridors and boarded-up delivery entrances to stores long gone: all the barbershops, haberdasheries, and soda fountains replaced by fancy boutiques and the Apple Store.
He thought he had it, though. When he closed his eyes, he could see the whole station laid out in front of him.
x. hidden in the snow- trent reznor & atticus ross
Steve wasn’t trying to bring the Winter Soldier in.Steve was trying to get out. He wasn’t looking to pull Barnes out of his hole; he was looking for the hole Barnes was in so that he could jump inand disappear with him.
Peggy Carter had told her this, she realized a moment later—and damn it all, she should have listened to Peggy, because Peggy really knew them, both of them. He’s going to rescue Steve, she’d said, and Natasha pictured the tense, unhappy face framed on Peggy’s nightstand; pictured Steve’s empty apartment, his strange half-life of a life. Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky—and here he was: James Barnes, back from the dead and coming to save him.Except they weren’t going to make it. She knew, better than anyone, how many agents were on Steve.
xi. i would for you- nine inch nails
Steve looked down at the paper cup. It was from Whole Bean, and it said STEVE in black marker on one side, and on the other, written smaller: We shouldn’t do this. This is a mistake.
“I’ll kill him,” Steve said, without thinking. “I am going to—” and then he was crouching down again and pleading, “Where is he? The guy who gave this to you.” The man just stared at him. “I need to see him,” Steve insisted. “Please. He’s my best friend, and he was my sergeant, and he’s making a very big mistake,” and the veteran frowned for a moment, maybe weighing Steve’s pleas against whatever information Bucky had given him.
“Track 125,” the man said; his eyes were clear and serious. “The service hall.”
xii. crazy in love- sofia karlberg
—but there was Bucky, staring at him with his mouth open and a surprised look on his face, and Steve grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the hall and through a rusted metal door that looked like it had been peeled back with a giant can opener. An electrical way-station, with transformers humming and a vaguely metallic taste in the air, and Steve wheeled on him and pointed at him and said: “You do notget to make this decision! Do you hear me? I’m not letting you do this again: you can’t make decisions for both of us. You don’t have the right, Buck.”
xiii. all that I want- dawn golden
Tony was looking at him with a funny expression. “But you don’t feel the effect.”
“No, but I still like the taste.” Steve took another sip and shuddered, his eyes closing. “It tastes like a memory.”
“A good memory?” Tony murmured. Steve didn’t answer.
xiv. boris- lo-fang
“They’ve been watching you for ages,” she told Steve. “I only got involved because I thought he might actually fucking killyou.” She lifted her chin and dared him to give her an argument. “Which was not an unreasonable conclusion, Rogers.”
Steve didn’t argue; he’d let anger slip off his shoulders like a robe. “It’s not.” He collapsed down onto the sofa beside her, toed his shoes off, and stretched his legs; God, he looked tired. “I know it’s not,” he agreed, twisting to look at her, “but—Natasha, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t.Even after everything they did to him, he wouldn’t have been able to—”
She tightened her jaw. “You’re a terriblejudge of character, Rogers.”
“No,” he said, and looked at her. “I’m not,” and she turned away fast.
Her eyes found the shield; he’d hung it up on the wall like a decoration. “You’re really going,” she said softly; it wasn’t a question.
xv. elastic heart-sia
He’d darted into Whole Bean’s employee–only area and out the back door before anyone could question him, emerging on the loading dock for Tracks 105-106. And then he was running for his life, taking the metal steps at the end of the platform four at a time and then racing down a series of corridors, because there were eight stories and five doors between him and Bucky Barnes and the whole rest of his life.
xvi. hold you in my arms- ray lamontagne
“Where are we?” Steve asked.
“Pennsylvania,” Bucky answered. “We’re not staying, but we needed to stop. It’s safe here—isolated, no cameras,” and Steve felt relief and a kind of exhaustion rolling over him: he and Bucky were finally alone, with no mission, no one to reportto, nobody trying to killthem—and he let his shoulders drop and tilted forward until his forehead thunked down on Bucky’s shoulder, and Bucky cupped the back of his neck. He thought he could sleep for a year.
“Go on,” Steve mumbled, breathing in Bucky’s familiar smell: 1943, Brooklyn, home. “Keep talking.”
Bucky’s whole arm came around him and then they were squeezing each other, tight tight.
xvii. meltdown- lorde, pusha t, q-tip, stromae, haim