You feel insecure and start to doubt your relation with Peter ever since Wendy shows up, but Peter reassures you you’re his.
Warnings:Smut, cursing,self conscious,
Everything was perfect, you had Peter, Peter had you, then one day, everything changed, all because of Wendy Darling.
When it was just you and Peter it was perfect, he was perfect, sure he could be an ass sometimes, but he was your ass, and you loved him for it.
“Y/n!” he would yell
“Yes Peter!” you would yell back , chatting it up with the mermaids
“I need you love.” he would yell
“Coming! Sorry girls, the king is waiting” you would wink at them as they all ohhhh at you because that’s just what girls do.
Finally you get in Peter’s view and he instantly smiles, looking at you up and down, ready to devour you in seconds.
You smile and nod at all the lost boys, they were like your little brothers, and they all looked up to you and Peter.
“You look lovely today.” he says as he kisses you on your neck, uh oh.
When Peter kissed you on the neck, that means he wanted you, like wanted you.
“Peter..” you would moan a little , not wanting to make it obvious in front of the boys.
“Don’t act like you don’t like it love.” he says as he stares into your eyes.
It was simply hard to say no to Peter, he would look deep into your eyes and it was like as if he cast a spell on you
“To my cabin, now.” he said in the most stern but sexy voice you have ever heard in your life
“Yes my king.” you smirked as you walked away, not looking back but swaying your hips in a way that would make Peter look, you could almost feel him burning holes in you.
“Felix, look after the boys, me and Y/n have some things to discuss.” he smirked at him
Felix nods, “Aye captain, whatever you say.”
Peter nods as well and starts to walk away
“You dirty dog.” Felix whispers, knowing exactly well what was about to happen
Peter smiles but doesn’t look back he just walks to his cabin , as you wait for him.
He opens the door and there you were, on his bed, which you both shared now ever since you two both became a thing.
“Are you going to keep staring or?” you said to him, almost teasing
He gets on top of you and starts to kiss you , roughly grabbing every inch of you, Peter never liked to make love, he liked to fuck.
It would be like this almost every night, and you easily fell in love with him.
It wasn’t hard at all, the way he touched you, felt like how the wind touches the tree’s , so soft but roughly. The way he kissed you, your lips would melt, like how chocolate melts on a hot day, and how he holds you, just like how the clouds comfort each other in the night sky, that, is why it was so easy to fall in love with him.
One day you woke up, like any other day, got ready for the day , and walk outside.
You were a little confused, the boys were all in a circle, looking down, including Peter.
“What the hell?” you whispered as you walked towards the boys.
Peter turns to look at you, with his finger on his lips, signaling you to be quite, you did so, pushing the boys aside, it was a girl , a pretty girl at that. Oh no, you say in your head, you already knew where this was going.
“Who is she?” you ask Peter.
“We don’t know, it’s been about 10 minutes since we found her.”
“Well send her back to wherever she came from.” you say with a little attitude
“It’s not that easy love.” he shakes his head as his eyebrows nit together in confusion
“Well why is it so hard?” you asked
“Because she landed on my island, she’s lst, I just can’t abandon her.” he looks at you , and you start to worry. You nod your head.
You go and talk to your mermaid friends because you needed to be reassured that you were over thinking, well this was the most baddest idea ever.
“Oh hell no.” a mermaid said
“Nah girl she gonna ruin everything!” another said
“She gonna try to take your man!” the other said
You put your hands in your face and sigh
“Ugh, I knew it.” you say, dreading every second of the day left.
You go back to the campsite and see that she has woken up, you roll your eyes as the boys are practically hovered over here, typical, but then you stop in your tracks to see that Peter is there as well, laughing and smiling with the rest.
“Oh hell no.” you say as you walk up to Peter
“Hi Peter.” you say as your rub his chest and kissed his cheek, looking at the girl, marking what’s yours.
“Hi Y/n, uh this is Wendy , Wendy Darling, Wendy, this is Y/n.” he said as he looks a little nervous
“Nice to meet you!” Wendy said, she had a high pitched voice, perfect teeth, perfect hair, and her body, don’t get me started.
“Nice to meet you as well!” you say with the most fakest smile, holding in all the anger.
“Well, let’s have breakfast shall we?” Peter said
Everyone cheered and agreed.
You all eggs in a biscuit, Peter’s favorite.
Knowing that Wendy would try to sit next to Peter you tried to sit next to him but Wendy was too damn quick. She sat next to him, all close and what not, Peter seemed a little annoyed but he didn’t seem to mind
“So tell me , how did you get such strong arms.” she asked
You rolled your eyes, Felix walked next to you, watching what was about to go down.
“Well , uhm I do a lot of arm work outs I guess.” he said , really wanting to eat his food
“Well I bet they’re good for other things.” she winked
Peter spits out his drink almost chocking on it
“Oh my are you okay?” as she bats her eyelashes
“I gotta go, excuse me.” he said avoiding eye contact
“Can we talk? Now!” he asked
“Y-yeah sure.” you say as you walk with him
As you and him walk deeper into the woods you start to become sad
“She’s gonna take you away from me, isn’t she?” you asked as you turned to him
He shakes his head, “I promise you, she won’t, I’m yours, do you understand that love?” his british accent getting stronger
“Yes Peter.” you say, not fully trusting what he has to say.
He grabs your head gently with his muscular hands, and puts your forehead to his, “Please, don’t do this, not right now.”
You knew Peter was stressed , he’d been stressed, with everything, the lost boys, the island, the food, the supplies, a lot goes into Neverland, and you could see his frustration coming out, not wanting to make him anymore stressed, you nod.
“That’s my lost girl.” he says as he kisses your forehead
You go to bed that night in tears, as Peter holds you, you just knew that it wouldn’t be the same, and you were right.
Wendy would constantly flirt with Peter, and it would annoy you to the point were you wouldn’t even go outside because you hated seeing it.
Peter would beg you time after time after time to come out but you refused, unless it was for a special occasion, you would go out when everyone would be asleep.
Well today was a special occasion, one of the lost boys had a birthday, Rufio, and you wanted to be there for him.
You decide to go out and bake a cake and yummy treats for everyone, it was good being outside, you got to say hi and talk to all of the lost boys, they all huddled in the kitchen, even Rufio came I and sat on a chair to talk to you.
“I miss you Y/n, we all do.” he admits
“I know, I miss you all too.” you say as you mix something in a bowl
“Why don’t you come out anymore?” He asked
“Oh.. it’s just…” you try to ignore the question
“He doesn’t like her, you know that?” he looks at you, seriously
“But yet she’s still here.” you fold your arms, showing your emotions
“She’s a bitch dude, we all hate her, all of us, she can never take your place, I assure you that.” he said as he gets up
“Everyone is saying that, they reassure me, but I can’t help it. you put your head down
“I’m one of Peter’s best friends, trust me, you have nothing to worry about.” he said as he lifts up your chin with his finger
“Now, hurry up and make my cake.” he says as he laughs
“You got it!” you smile and continue to bake and cook
After what felt like days were only a couple hours you asked all of the lost boys to come help you carrying out the food, they gladly accepted wanting to get away from Wendy.
They all placed the food on the table, licking their lips, eyes gazing, it all looked so delicious.
“Okay I would like to say something!” Peter raised up his cup, filled with whatever rum was being served that night
“Rufio is my best friend, my best mate, my brother from another mother, so we have to celebrate like we have never celebrated before! I love you buddy!” he yells with his cup in the air, everybody yells too and starts to eat and drink the night away.
You all dance and drank the night away, Peter had his arms wrapped around you most of the time, not really caring what Wendy did, or thought, he was yours, and he was going to keep that promise.
Not much later around 1 or 2 in the morning the boys started to tell scary stories, very bad scary stories, they weren’t scary at all, matter of fact, they were pretty hilarious.
You started to drowse off and fall asleep on Peter, that was fine until Peter had to take a piss, he slowly took you off of him and lay you near the campsite, he would bring you back to bed when he was done.
He started to walk into the woods, well guess who followed, yup, Wendy.
After he takes a piss he hears a giggle, being a little drunk he ignores it, and puts away his stuff.
As he starts to walk he was pushed on a tree, by, you guessed it, Wendy.
“What the fuck.” he says as his vision becomes more clear and see’s Wendy
“Hi Peter.” she says sexually
“You are to call me Pan, only Y/n is allowed to call me Peter.” he said in a stern voice
“I don’t give a fuck.” she says as she kissed him
He quickly pushes her off of him, “What the bloody hell? You know Y/n is my girlfriend!” he says as he starts to walk away
“Is she even good in bed?” she asked
He shakes his head in disbelief, and walks away
“You know I can treat you way better, so much better, I have the body, the looks, the personality.” she walks with him
“How did you even get on my island? Are you even lost? Lost boys and lost girls come to my island because they’re lost, or they feel lonely, not because of whatever the fuck you’re trying to do, you’re leaving first thing in the morning!” he yells
“Please please please! I beg you Peter! I love you, I beg you , leave her and be mine.!” she yells
Peter looks at her one last time, and shakes his head, “You’re fucked in the head laddie, you need help.” he turns around and leaves and head towards the campsite
Getting to the campsite he see’s you and smiles in relief, but you’re awake, and you’re pissed
“Where were you?” you asked
“He was with me.” Wendy poked out of the woods
Peter’s eyebrows knitted in confusion, “What?”
“Don’t deny it Peter, it’s not good to lie.” she smiles
You looked at Peter, with tears in your eyes
“Save it! You clearly want her, so have her.” you said
“It’s not like that!” He yelled at you, he was pissed, pissed at the fact that Wendy tried to tell such a disgusting lie, and pissed that you actually believed her.
“Whatever!” you yell and run to your cabin, well yours and Peter’s.
“I want you out of my island now.” he turns to Wendy
“Oh stop it, you know you like me.” as she puts her hand on his face but Peter grabs it roughly
“Ouch!” she screams
“Don’t you touch me, don’t you EVER, touch me. Shadow, take her way.”
The shadow comes and takes her
You could hear her scream in horror, begging Peter to let her stay, you just cry, knowing that she is gone , was like a weight lifted off your shoulders, but still, you were mad at Peter.
Minutes later Peter comes in the cabin, you’re there on the floor with your knees to your chest, not wanting to look up.
“Love?” he asked
You didn’t respond
“Baby girl.” he sat down and rubbed your arm
You flinched back not aware that he was that close
“Hey hey hey, it’s me, it’s just me.” he says
“What do you want?” you asked
“I want to go back, pretend that this was all a dream, I want to apologize for even letting her stay this long, it was my responsibility, and i take full blame for it.”
“I need to ask you something.” you say
“Anything.” he said as he looks in your eyes, but you quickly looks down
“Did -did you ever, at any point, get feelings for her? Or thought she was pretty, or anything like that?” you said
He lifts up your chin with his finger “Not even once love, I told you, you’re mine, and I’m yours.” he smiled
“I just felt so ugly, so worthless “ you begin to cry
“Well you’re not, you’re so damn beautiful and you don’t even know it.”
“I’m not sure..” you still shed tears
“Let me reassure you.” he says
He grabs you and puts you on top of his so that your legs are straddled around his waist, he starts to kiss you and your lips simply melt into each other, then kisses your neck and starts to softly rub your body, unlike the other times.For tonight, it was different.
He picked you up and put you on top of the bed, and gets on top of you, he lays on his elbows so that he isn’t laying on you and starts to kiss you ever so softly, he then makes you moan allowing his tongue to sneak his way unto your mouth, your tongues are now dancing with each other , like lightning dances with the clouds, so beautiful yet terrifying all at once.
He takes off his shirt and he takes off yours, exposing your bra, but that’s quickly off as well.He softly rubs your breast quickly turning you on more and more.
He then takes off your pants, and starts to kiss your other lips, and you start to moan more and more.
Peter loved when he heard you moan, it was like music to his ears, and when you started to get a little twitchy, and your legs would start to shake, he would rub your legs, reassuring you that you were okay, and he wasn’t going to hurt you.
It always worked
He then softly goes into you and you were pretty sure all of Neverland could of heard you. Peter didn’t mind, he never did.
As he thrust into you his pumps never got rough, they got faster, but never rough, this wasn’t like Peter, for like I said, he liked to fuck, but he wanted to reassure you, that you were special, and you weren’t just a good lay, you were his girlfriend, and he felt you needed to know that.
“I love you Y/n, do you understand?”
You just nod, not being able to say a word, he always left you breathless at these times, he kissed your forehead and then whispered sweet nothings into your ear.
You start to cry , because you realized what he was doing, he was making love to you, he wasn’t just fucking you, he was showing his emotions, and that made your heart be filled with joy.
You start to scratch his back with your finger nails, leaving red marks , and as you do that he leaves red blotches on your neck, and all over your body, it was , he was clearly marking what was his, as he always did.
“You’re so beautiful.” he would tell you
He then went full on and his thrust became sloppy, signaling he was close, and you were too.
“Oh fuck.” he said as he was about to
“Right there, right there
You both screamed at the same time, he rided you out until your high came down, he then kissed your lips, and your kissed him back.
“I love you my lost girl” he said “I reassure that.” he winks at you
“You just smile and giggle “I love you too Peter.” you kiss him back
SO THERE I WAS. TAP TAP TAP. I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING A LOT OF FUN PLAYING WITH MY NOSTRILS. AND THEN I STARTED SCREAMING. I SCREAMED AND SCREAMED AND WOKE UP EACH AND EVERY METAPHORICAL NEIGHBOR WITHIN SOAKING DISTANCE BECAUSE I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT JAKE THE DOG FARTING. BUT WAIT, WOULD THAT NOT MEAN THAT I AM ALWAYS SCREAMING EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY? NO. LET ME FINISH SPEAKING. DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE WILL BE NINEEPISODES OF ADVENTURE TIME APPEARING ON OUR WATCHING BOXES IN MERELY TWO WEEKS TIME? IF YOUR ANSWER WAS YES, YOU ARE EITHER LYING OR YOU ARE VERY DEPRESSED. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? THE VACANT VESSELS RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING THE WORD ABOUT THESE NINE EPISODES HAVEDECIDED THEYWOULD RATHER SPEND ALL DAY FONDLING THEIR UVULAS (OF WHICH I AM STILL MISSING) INSTEAD OF EVEN PRETENDING THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE THESE EPISODES KNOWN. ANDI WILL NOT HAVE IT. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MINISERIES JAKE HAS FARTED IN? ALL OF THEM. THATS RIGHT. ONE. HUNDRED. PERCENT. AND DID YOU KNOW THAT EIGHT OF THE NINE EPISODES THAT ARE APPEARING ON OUR WATCHING BOXES IN TWO WEEKS TIME ARE PART OF A MINISERIES? DO YOU SEE WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS? DO YOU SEE WHY I AM SCREAMING? THOSE CHUNKY CHARLATANS ARE GOING TO LET MILLIONS OF PEOPLE MISS OUT ON JAKE THE DOG FARTING BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO ENTRANCED WITH THE EBB AND FLOW OF THEIR UVULAS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. WELL GUESS WHAT? WE ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. US. TOGETHER. THE BANNED RUM. ONE DREAM. ONE PURPOSE. AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE DOING YOU ASK? OH I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ASKED ME THAT QUESTION BECAUSE I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ANSWER IT.
YES, TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THESE WONDERFUL NEW EPISODES IN WHICH JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN, I HAVE THOUGHT OF A FANTASTIC ACTIVITY THAT WE COULD ALL PARTICIPATE IN TO PROMOTE THESE WONDERFUL NEW EPISODES IN WHICH JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN. AND GUESS WHAT THAT ACTIVITY IS? YES. WE ARE GOING TO DRAW HOW WE THINK JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN THESE EPISODES IN WHICH JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN. AND UNDER OUR DRAWING OF HOW WE THINK JAKE IS GOING TO FART, WE WILL PUT A BIG AND BOLD AIRDATE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW WHEN THESE EPISODES WILL BEGIN, ALONG WITH THE #FARTIMERSTAG SO ALL MAY BASK IN THE GLORY OF OUR COLLECTIVE CONVICTION.
YES. BECAUSE AS USUAL, THIS IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY. AND WE WILL NOT LET THE WORLD DOWN. MY FRIENDS, CONSIDER THIS A BANNED RUM CHALLENGE. TOGETHER, WE WILL FIGHT THE SILENCE. TOGETHER, WE WILL MAKE THESE EPISODES KNOWN. TOGETHER, WE. WILL. DRAW. JAKE. FARTING.
OH? WHATS THAT? YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I THINK THAT JAKE WILL FART IN THESE NEW EPISODES IN WHICH JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN? WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED SO NICELY, I WILL SHOW YOU HOW JAKE WILL FART IN THESE NEW EPISODES IN WHICH JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN. TAKE A LOOK WITH YOUR FART VIEWERS
AND BE SURE TO TUNE IN ON FRIDAY, APRIL 21STAT 7:45/6:45C AND THEN ON MONDAY - THURSDAY, APRIL 24TH - APRIL 27TH AT 7:30/6:30C
ON CARTOON NETWORK TO SEE THE WONDERFUL NEW EPISODES IN WHICH JAKE IS GOING TO FART IN. MARK. MY. WORDS.
Imagine meeting Dean at a bar and having explosive sex in the bar bathroom:
You strut into the bar with confidence made for an intentional model. Men have their chins half way down the floor, turning their heads in such unnatural ways in order to take a glimpse. You radiate like a love goddess with a force to be reckon with but all you care about is an ice cold beer. The bar stools are particularly empty, expect for a fine looking gentlemen at the end of the row. He seems more enthralled with his drink than with you and that just doesn’t sit right. “Rough night?” You call out to him. He looks over at you with wild eyes but quickly turns into a smirk as he lays them upon you. “Yeah, you can say that”, he replies. “Let me buy you are beer”, you smile. Hiding behind a devilish intent. “Bartender, I’ll another rum and coke and for my friend over there, whatever he wants”, you ask. Winking at the husky old man as he begins to pour the drinks. “Yes, ma’am”, he quickly replies. The man across the bar inches closer to you until you can smell his scent hoovering above you. “What’s a bad place doing in a good girl like this?” He ask, smiling a most telling smile. You take a sip of your drink, watching as he watches you, slowly letting the liquid trickle down the back of your throat. You notice his thighs spread apart as if something was growing inside his Levi jeans. “If you must know, I’m here on business”, you finally reply. “Oh, what kind?” He asks. Intrigued by the direction of the conversation, he looks at you with arched eyebrows. “My, you ask a lot of questions for a man with a gun”, you say as your eyes focus on the silver revolver. He looks down almost surprised by the slick observation. “Well handsome, I’m heading off to the ladies”, you begin pausing for a second to bend down to his ear. “If you wanna know my business I can surely tell you somewhere much more personal”, you explaining whilst eyeing the bathroom door. Without looking back you slowly walk towards the bathroom, making sure all the right stuff hangs in just the right spot. The bartender looks at the man and gulps, “if I were you I’d run faster than a chicken at dinner time”. This statement is enough to send the man flying towards the direction you walked in, leaving all since of reason out the door.
“Took you long enough, handsome”, you say standing the near the doorway. “My name’s Dean”, he replies with such hunger in his eyes. He holds you up against the wall showing off his upper body strength. Wasting no time on the rest of the introductions, you begin to unbuckle his pants. He moans deeply in you mouth as he kisses you and you hold his growing cock. He tugs at the waist ban of your jeans, unbuttoning them with one motion, indicating this isn’t his first rodeo. He pulls them down as far as he can whilst kissing your neck. You finish the job, wrapping your legs around his waist. Fully ready to go he steams forward inside you, pressing you harder against the wall. “Uh!” He moans. Your breath quickens as the excitement falls over you. Grabbing his ass with your hands you pull him closer, softly biting his shoulder as he thrust. The beat increase as you soft whisper, “harder”. He complies and pushes forward, sending waves of pleasure down your spine. You can feel yourself reaching the edge as he keeps up the rhythm. He moans on your lips begging for sweet release and as you passionately kiss him back, he feels the rush. “Come for me, baby”, you heavily whisper. As if your words were magic he comes undone, collapsing onto your shoulder. After a few seconds of heavy breathing you lightly say, “Well cowboy, it’s been fun but mamma’s gotta get some business taken care of”. You softly push him away, picking up your jeans and quickly getting dressed. He stops for a moment shocked at the casualness of the situation. “That’s usually my line”, he smiles. Pulling his jeans up in the process. “Really? Maybe now you’ve met your match”, you wink. Heading out the door, leaving Dean to wonder when and where he can met you again.
“Prague is a magical place,” said my family and friends. I thought by magical they meant fairytale-like structures… and weed. Apparently there was something else too.
Some people claim not to believe in the supernatural, yet you see them going to church or reading their horoscope. Not me. I’m an empiricist through and through. So when I encountered the supernatural in Prague last week, I exhausted all the logical explanations first before I concluded that “maybe”, just “maybe” the natural is not the only thing there is.
One evening in our hotel room, I heard my friend watching a YouTube video about local restaurants. The host said, “In the city center, a bottle of Coke costs 100 crowns. But in these restaurants, your 100 crowns will buy you a full meal!"
We just finished a tour, so I was preparing to take a nap. Before I fell asleep, the last thing I heard from her phone was, "This place is such a hidden gem that not even all the locals know about it. It’s very hard to find, but once you’re in the area, it will draw you in.”
Later that night, my friend, her map and I, along with two other guy friends, set out to find it.
When we got to the area, there was a huge red restaurant with swings outside. The guys and I were already debating whether we should eat outside or in. (It was 3 degrees Celsius.) But my friend with the map led us instead to the adjacent alley… which was the first red flag. Because in addition to her map, my friend had screenshots of the YouTube video on her phone, and they clearly show the red place with the outdoor swings, which was lively, with lots of people. Not this quiet, abandoned alley. But since I knew my friend did the research while I just slept, I thought it was unfair to question her authority. Maybe she watched more than one video and took more than a few screenshots.
It was a basement-style restaurant. The signage wasn’t in English so I didn’t bother to read the name. When we were outside the second door (vs. the main entrance), the two guys were hesitant to go in. “Looks like a tavern, not a restaurant,” they said. They were right. All I could see inside were people holding beer. But I was so hungry, so I told them, “For sure there’s food on the menu too.” I was right, of course. Nobody sells just beer.
As we were walking inside, everyone was looking at us. Which back then I thought was fine. We’re obviously tourists, while they all looked Czech to me. It must’ve been a “local” place. Plus, it’s only natural instinct to steal a look at the new group whenever you’re at a bar or something. It was a young crowd. Men and women in their early 20s.
There was a short origin story printed on the back of the menu. The place did use to be a tavern. It was supposedly owned by a very beautiful woman murdered by her husband, who mistakenly thought she’d been serving her customers more than just beer, if you know what I’m saying. The story said that if you touch the woman’s portrait in the restaurant, she’ll help you with your romantic problems. The piece was badly written, in my opinion. It didn’t help that the accompanying image looked like an edited photo of Angelina Jolie. “How amateur,” I remember thinking.
The food was okay. I’d say it’s bland, but maybe Czech food is just like that — not fatty, not salty. So instead of bland, I’ll just call it different. Looked healthy, though. And I liked it. Not as much as I like steak and pasta, but I liked it enough.
A few minutes later I started feeling dizzy and weak. I was afraid that maybe it was all that Trdelnik (local dessert) I’d been eating. I ate like three in a day every day, each time we passed by a stall while touring the city or shopping. My mom had diabetes. I thought maybe I was on the verge too.
Then I was like, “No, you’re just sleepy. It was a long flight, followed by hours of walking tours.” I almost convinced myself. But then I remembered that I just napped for three hours, from 8 pm to 11 pm. (It was around 11:30 pm.) Besides, sleepiness is gradual. This was sudden.
In front of me, one of the guys was frowning, massaging his head. “Are you okay?” I asked. He said he was dizzy too.
The other guy started taking off his jacket. “Why is it so hot in here? And my neck hurts!” he said, sweating. But like I said, the food wasn’t fatty. It couldn’t have been hypertension, for him, the other guy or me.
And so it was that with our plates still half full, my friend with the map suggested, “Let’s get the bill?”
While leaving the restaurant, I wanted to go straight back to the hotel and lie down. But the moment I stepped out of the main entrance, my energy came back to me. Suddenly I wanted to walk around Old Town and eat another Trdelnik.
The frowning guy started telling jokes again, and the sweating guy started freezing again.
Our friend with the map, who up until then said nothing about how she felt, finally spoke. “We had to leave,” she said. “They were all staring at us. Didn’t you notice? One person per table was always staring at us. And whenever that person looked away, another took his place.”
The rest of us were like, “What the fuck?!”
“And I don’t know if it was just psychological,“ she continued, "but the moment you (she pointed at one of the guys) said you were dizzy, I felt dizzy too.”
“I was feeling dizzy even before he said he was,“ I replied.
The guy who was sweating said, "I started feeling weird after I noticed that everyone at every table was wearing greenish jackets and drinking the same beer. Like, what the hell?”
Realizing it too, I butted in, “Fuck, they were all so quiet. None of them was talking. If they were, they must’ve been whispering.”
Everyone agreed. The other diners were big groups of friends, drinking beer. You’d expect laughter and yelling. There was absolutely none of that.
The rational person that I am, I said, “Yesterday, we had hot chocolate with rum, and pork ribs with beer. Maybe our food had alcohol too?” My friends all disagreed. The menu always states if there’s alcohol in the food. Besides, we all knew that alcohol makes you feel good (at least in the beginning), not sleepy and weak. It doesn’t make you hallucinate either.
Couldn’t have been weed too, because weed makes you feel even better than alcohol. That much we knew. Besides, Prague isn’t Amsterdam. There’s weed, but you have to find it. They don’t serve it in cafés and bars. Plus, why would a restaurant be lacing their food with weed, when they sell a meal for less than 200 crowns? Weed is not that cheap in Prague. It’s not legal either.
But we were in an exquisitely gorgeous city, and the wind was cool, and the night was young, so we left it at that. We didn’t know what happened, and at that moment, we didn’t really care much. There’s more to eat, more to see and more to enjoy. And all that we did.
On the flight back home, I was sitting beside my friend who found the restaurant. I finally said, “You know, your screenshots showed the red restaurant. Why did you lead us to the other one?”
There was a pause before she replied, “I don’t know. We were there in front of Restaurant Mustek, but something inside me felt empty.”
“Empty how?“ I asked.
"You know that feeling when you’re reaching inside a bag of chips, and it turns out you’d already eaten the last piece?”
“Well, I felt like that when I saw the red restaurant. It’s like, there was disappointment. I craved more, and something inside me told me to turn right and keep going.“
I felt a chill run down my spine. I remembered the YouTube video. "This place is such a hidden gem that not even all the locals know about it. It’s very hard to find, but once you’re in the area, it will draw you in.” I didn’t find it weird when I heard it. But it’s taking on a new meaning now.
It seems something led us to it. Could it have been the Angelina Jolie look-alike? Was she even real? If I ever set up a restaurant, I’d make up a fake origin story too. It’s Marketing 101.
I asked my friend to show me the video she had been watching on YouTube. (The airline offers a limited amount of free Wi-Fi during the flight.) The restaurant we went to wasn’t in the video. The line I overheard right before sleeping, about a bottle of Coke costing 100 crowns, was there, yes. But the line about the hidden gem was not. Could I have imagined that? I mean, three agnostics and an atheist are an unlikely group to be inventing a synchronized supernatural story.
My friend and I had no clue about the name of the restaurant. We shouted over to our two other friends who were seated three rows in front of us. They didn’t remember either. So we searched instead for Restaurant Mustek on Google Maps, and from there, traced the one we dined in. It’s called Restaurace U Provaznice. The Google description on the side says “Classic Czech beer restaurant serving traditional dishes in a historic, supposedly haunted space.” The caption on the map itself says “Traditional restaurant steeped in myth.”
But we didn’t know that. So we couldn’t have constructed a supernatural experience subconsciously, based on that information. We couldn’t have based it on the Angelina Jolie look-alike story either because I was the only one who read the back of the menu (and I thought nothing of it).
Who was it then that I heard on my friend’s phone talking about a hidden gem of a restaurant that will draw you in? What was it that led us astray from the place we were actually looking for? Why were we feeling dizzy, sweaty and weak? How come the other diners were all wearing similar jackets, drinking the same beer, staring at us systematically, and not making a noise? Were they waiting to hurt us, or like the back of the menu said, to help us? …At least for now, it seems like I’ll never know.
I’ve had seven hours of sleep last night and a good meal this morning, but I’m feeling very sleepy and slightly weak as I write this. I’m sure I’ll be fine afterwards.
I wanna thank a 60%/40% you and mass effect andromeda for making me realize i am in fact at least a little gay (ok maybe u AND ur followers confessing crushes and andromeda) and also rum for letting me anounce to everyone on my tumblr (including friends from when i thought i was 100% straight ace) And i hope u have super good luck in your school i wish id done biochem but instead i did computer art and am gonna be an xray technician now life is wild, good luck, thank u for being u!
!!! thats so awesome!! im so happy for you friend!! thank YOU!!
I did some drinking last night, and by some I mean a lot, and I don’t normally drink at all, but I found out they are moving me to a new location at work and I’m trying not to stress about it until it actually happens and I just wanted to have some coconut rum and watch HTGAWM and yell at my friends, so I did.
I also apparently ate every piece of the garlic bread in my house (??), and made ranch dip out of all of my sour cream (???), and made a salad for my lunch today ( ?? drunk me is apparently nicer to future me than sober me is). I think I may also have cried about an avocado tasting really good?? but I didn’t recall that until I opened the avocado at work today. I somehow diapered Beep and got all of the outside birds locked up okay, and found a pea egg (?? how did I not drop it ?? i do not know, but it was sitting on my counter intact this morning, and it’s not Beep’s). I seem to vaguely recall giving the cat a mouse that Beep didn’t want to eat. I really hope she actually ate it.
ANYway, thank you to those of you who kept me company last night and are somehow still here this evening.
my weekend consisted of going up to my friends’ beautiful house in the redwoods to celebrate 4/20 and make pizza and drink wine and watch dumb stoner movies high off our minds; then driving with the top down through the mountains in the sun; then celebrating M’s birthday by making enough Indian food for an entire village probably, playing with a puppy, practicing handstands and getting drunk off mango lassi mixed with an entire bottle of coconut rum. I 💛 my dumb friends. And today is @knockmeforsix birthday!!! And I have a friend coming to stay this week!
“ ‘Make the move to Pansaw’, they said, ‘The people are interesting and the work is more rewarding. LAPD is nothing in comparison.’ All a crock of grade-A Mierda de caballo.” Santiago murmured to himself as he made his way into the Starz Club, walking up to the bar. New cities were always a struggle. “You think I can get a rum and coke?” he asked the bartender. “And whatever my new friend here would like” he said looking toward the other there.
HEATHERS: THE MUSICAL SENTENCE MEME ❝CANDY STORE / FREEZE YOUR BRAIN ❞
’ Why now are you pulling on my dick? ’ ‘ Are we gonna have a problem? ‘ ’ I like looking hot, buying stuff they cannot. ’ ‘ Let your mommy fix you a snack. ‘ ’ Or you could have a rum and coke, in my porche with the quarterback. ’ ’ That freak’s not your friend. ’ ’ If you lack the balls, you can go play dolls ’ ’ I like killer clothes, kickin’ nerds in the nose. ’ ’ Time for you to prove you’re not a loser anymore. ’ ’ Forget that creep and get in my jeep. ’ ’ You can live the dream, or you can die alone. ’ ’ Step into my candy store. ’ ’ I’d normally slap your face off, and everyone here could watch! But I’m feeling nice, here’s some advice: listen up biotch. ’ ’ Color me stoked. ’ ’ I like drinking hard, maxing Dad’s credit card. ’ ‘ Maybe Sesame Street is on. ‘
’ No point in planting your roots, ‘cause you’re gone in a hurry. ’ ‘ Who needs cocaine? ‘ ’ Does your mommy know you eat all that crap? ’ ’ Swim in the ice, get lost in the pain. ’ ’ You’ll go to some college, and marry a lawyer. ’ ’ All I can trust is this concrete oasis. ’ ’ Happiness comes when everythings numbs. ’ ’ Shut your eyes tight, till you vanish from sight, let nothing remain. ’ ’ But the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls, so you better start building some walls… ’ ’ Shatter your skull, fight pain with more pain. ’ ’ I don’t learn the names, don’t bother with faces. ’ ‘ Care for a hit? ‘
So I can’t mock mc because I’ve actually done this before. Going to a bar where there’s no drink menu is actually really freaking intimidating. So I ordered the first thing I could think of. A rum and coke. It was the nastiest freaking drink I’ve ever had. My friend wouldn’t let me waste the alcohol and forced me to finish that one first before ordering another.
That was my only drink of the night. It took me over 2 hours.