Who Could Be Scared of a Little Rain?
Band Member: Luke
Type: Relationship AU.
Description: Luke was your summer romance and that’s all you ever thought he would be, but maybe love wasn’t done with you yet.
He’d dreamt about you again.
You were leading him to the beach, your hair blowing behind you in the breeze like a bridal veil. He’d have married you right then and there last summer, he was that enchanted by you. Your smile as you looked back at him felt almost like it was happening, like it was all real again but Luke knew it was a dream. That was all he had left of you anymore. You’d slipped through his fingers when summer came to an end. He didn’t want to believe you were gone but you had kissed him for the final time and Luke could still taste you on his lips. He ran his hands through his hair, his teeth tugged at his lip ring. You haunted him like a rain cloud that followed over his head.
You had said you were a hurricane, and he’d asked who could be scared of a little rain.
At the start of July, you’d sworn to yourself that you were done with love. Your now-ex had already announced their intention to have a wild raging summer before university started up in the autumn. You’d been devastated but then you realised that gave you an entire summer to meet new friends before you headed off to start your degree.
Yet here you were, Luke’s arm draped around your shoulders as he drove and smiling at how he bobbed his head to the music. Luke hadn’t been a conscious decision, you’d just fallen into this romantic thing you had. You knew it was never going to work out but that was part of the appeal. That’s what made it so easy to fall so hopelessly in love with his smile, his eyes, his laugh. He was somebody so different. But looking back, even if you knew how it was going to end, you’d have done it a thousand times over and never change a thing.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked you, his eyes hidden by the sunglasses you usually stole from him.
You shrugged, stretching your arm out of the window to feel the breeze against your skin. You were thinking about a thousand possibilities but none of them mattered because you were here with Luke.
“How impossible this whole thing is,” you said with a laugh. “I’m here with the Luke Hemmings and he’s driving my car. That’s a miracle in itself.”
Luke chuckled and pressed a quick kiss against your temple. “You’re funny, shortcake.”
You lapsed into silence until you nudged his leg. “You’re supposed to say what you’re thinking.”
He shook his head lightly but the smirk on his face said it was something you wanted to hear.
“I’m wondering how I got the prettiest girl on the beach that day,” he told you as he took the turning for your house. “And how the hell I’m going to keep her interested in me.”
You rolled your eyes at Luke, he was always sure you were going to disappear. But oh how right he was.
You heard his name on the radio again today. You wanted to turn it off and act like his name no longer made your heart skip a beat. You knew it was your own fault, you’d been the one to walk away but that didn’t change how you felt about him. Your friends kept asking about your mysterious summer romance but you’d laugh it off and change the topic because even thinking about him hurt these days.
The voicemails he sent built up until you had to listen to them just to delete how desperate he sounded. You’d always pour a large glass of something alcoholic and drink every time you wanted to cry at his pleading. The way he looked at you that night was all you saw as the tears streaked down your cheeks. Those baby blues that still haunted you at night. The memory of his husky laugh and his cold hand mapping out constellations on your back as you drifted off to sleep wouldn’t leave you alone. He was the wave that drowned you after numerous drinks and you’d start humming the song Luke had said belonged to you. So in the mornings you were still left picking shards of him out of your skin because you’d heard his voice.
Hey… it’s me again, I just wanted to know if you’re okay.
What happened to us? We were so good together.
I know you’re never going to pick up but just know I still love you.
Hearing him again always brought you to your knees. You’d always hate yourself even more afterwards. Yet you’d made your bed and you had to deal with the fact you would never be part of his life, not in the way he wanted you to be. You were a force of nature. Walking out of people’s lives before they hurt you, it was what you did. And Luke had been your biggest risk yet.
You had said you were a hurricane, and he’d asked who could be scared of a little rain.
The night you’d told him had been perfect. You’d walked down the beach and he’d given you a piggy back as he threatened to throw you into the shallows. You almost left without telling him. Almost. You took his face in your hands, reaching up on your tiptoe just so you could savour the moment before it all came crashing down.
“Luke, I move back home tomorrow, I have university—”
“We can make this work, I promise,” he said before you finished. “I know we can.”
You shook your head lightly and dropped your hands to his chest.
“I don’t belong in your world, Luke. You’re a successful guitarist and singer in a band I listen to, I’m a student who hasn’t achieved anything that remarkable.”
Luke’s eyes widened as he realised what was happening. “No – no – you’re perfect for me, okay? I don’t care if you’re not famous. You’re good for me.”
“Yeah, your fans won’t see it like that,” you sighed. “I’m not strong enough to get the hate or to have photographers sat outside of my door waiting for an exclusive.
“I’d protect you, I swear.”
You smiled at him. “I know. But we’re too different, Luke. This summer has been the best of my life but I guess all good things come to an end, right?”
“I don’t – I can’t watch you leave,” he stuttered. “You can’t change my life then walk away.”
He was so unlike his usual calm self. The panic across his face was so clear, it hurt you to see him like this and you knew you could stop it.
“I told you before this became whatever it is,” you said as you traced the print on his t-shirt. “I told you I run away because I know I’ll get hurt and how can I not? You’ll be halfway around the world for almost half a year, Luke. You won’t hurt me but the distance might, how are we both supposed to stay sane if we’re this wrapped up in each other?”
“You can’t leave me like this,” he protested sadly.
“I don’t want to,” you mumbled. “Believe me, I don’t.”
You pressed your lips softly to his before you stepped back. He moved to follow you but you shook your head.
“It’s better if you let me go, Luke,” you told him as your voice began to crack. “I’m sorry.”
Your friend had been hyped up about something on the lead up to your birthday. She’d got you to book time off and told you to pack a suitcase. You’d done what she’d told you, you weren’t really in the mood for arguing. But when she’d stood in front of the arena and you started to see their logo everywhere, you felt sick.
“Your favourite band!” she cheered. “I know how much you wanted to see them live and it’s the first show of the tour!”
You tried to force a smile as you realised you were in the sound check. You hoped there would be a sea of faces for you to hide in, you knew just seeing Luke would ruin you. All the time you’d spent trying to forget that summer would’ve been wasted. But part of you wanted to see him again, even if it was just to prove to yourself that you were right because so far, you hadn’t been. You’d just been miserable, you had hurt yourself more than Luke ever would have.
So you sat there, nervously waiting to see if he noticed you. You didn’t know which you wanted more. Your friend chatted away about how she’d had to stay awake to get you the tickets and how she’d had this planned since last summer. You wanted to laugh like it was one big joke the universe had decided to play on you.
They walked onto the stage with a roar of applause and screams, you felt your heart begin to race when you saw him under the lights. He still looked the same and that made it harder. The flashes of the last moments on the beach made you feel even sicker than before.
“Are you okay?” she asked you quietly once she’d seen your expression.
“Just the shock of seeing them in person,” you muttered back.
She grinned at you and looked back at them. Luke’s eyes scanned the crowd and they fell upon your face quite clearly. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. He leant over to Calum and muttered something, pointing in your general direction. Had he told them about the girl who had broken his heart over a summer? You tried to tell yourself you were okay, you’d chosen to finish it all so you had no reason to feel like this towards Luke. The questions blurred into one another, you tried to listen but all you could think about was walking outside and being able to breathe again.
“What did you guys do this summer?” one fan asked.
Summer. You watched the colour drain from Luke’s face and prayed he wouldn’t announce to the world that what he did that summer was sat right in the audience. You almost laughed at your own thoughts but it was true, you didn’t want everybody to stare at you like you were insane for walking away from Luke because you already knew you were.
You stared at Luke, waiting for his answer. That was the only one that mattered.
“I spent my summer with this amazing girl that kept telling me she was a hurricane. I thought she was being all deep and shit but she was. She turned my life upside down and then left without a trace. I miss her.”
The shouts of comfort began to hurt your head, making it feel like it was swimming in a world where you were the villain. You muttered something about needing to head to the toilets and got up before your friend could ask what was wrong. You walked out of the back of the crowd, not turning back to see if she was chasing you.
Luke stood up, realising that his final chance to speak to you again was slipping out of his fingers.
“Not this time,” he mumbled to himself.
He told the others to cover as he sprinted off stage, hoping that you’d just want to go outside for air. He’d dreamt of this moment, finally seeing you again and forgetting about the hurt. He started running down the corridors, by security guards who threw him dodgy looks but let him go anyway when he told them it was okay. He pushed open the main doors and immediately saw you sat on the wall, your legs dangling over as you told your mum about how bad today was going. She’d been the only one who had known about Luke after she’d found you crying while listening to his voicemails. She was cooing you when you felt somebody sit by you. You glanced over and saw Luke staring out over the city while he waited for you to finish.
“Mum – I’ll call you back,” you said slowly. “Luke is actually sat next to me right now.”
“Are you okay?” she asked.
You looked at him again and sighed. “Yeah, I think this has to happen. I’ll call you later after the show.”
You ended the call and looked back out across the skyline.
“You haven’t answered any of my calls,” Luke said.
“I thought it’d be easier that way,” you admitted.
“It wasn’t,” he told you. “I didn’t know what I’d done to make you leave after that summer we had.”
Your fingers tangled themselves together as you tried to find a way to say you’d been wrong. Luke pointed to a tall building in the fading light.
“That’s our hotel,” he said mindlessly. “Cal has already broken the curtains and Mikey has ordered way too much food. It’s a mess and it’s only our first show. Imagine how the rest is going to go if this is how it started—”
He looked at you like it was the first time he’d ever heard his name uttered from your lips. His eyes were exactly how you had remembered them.
“I fucked up when I left you,” you confessed. “I placed too much value in not getting hurt but really all I did was wreck myself more than you ever could have done. I’m sorry.”
“That’s what love is, isn’t it? It’s getting hurt but there are good things too,” he said quietly. “But what about the rest of it? The fans, the tours, everything.”
“I guess I needed a reason to feel less crazy for leaving. I really did love you.”
“You did?” he asked.
You nodded but dropped your eyes to the floor. He moved closer when he noticed you shivering from the cooler breeze.
“What about now? Do you still love me?”
His breath was soft against your ear. It made you feel warm again but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was asking because he’d managed to forget you. He’d said he missed you, that wasn’t the same as being in love with you still.
“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Yeah, I do.”
A smile spread across his face as his arm wrapped around your waist. He looked relieved like he’d been waiting to hear it for a long time. You frowned at him but he shook his head.
“You warned me it’d be hard,” he said with a light shrug. “But I know you’ll be worth it. Just promise me you won’t disappear again?”
You nodded slowly. “I promise.”
“Then I guess I can kiss you and play a show without feeling like shit.”
You laughed and rested your head against his shoulder until he lifted your chin up so he could kiss you. You felt like you had on the beach, breathless and amazed that you were here with Luke Hemmings again.
“Uh – Luke, we – urm – have to do the sound check,” Michael said as he tried not to sound embarrassed.
Luke looked at you and sighed. “If I go do this sound check, will you still be here?”
You rolled your eyes, knowing this would be his new thing.
“Maybe this hurricane found a home,” he said with a smile.
“I hope so,” you replied as he helped you back over the wall and led you inside.
@irrelevantpiratelaughter, your professor is wrong and I’m your new one. I love you. And your work.