ruining lives everywhere

The Signs As Stupid Things I've Said to My Boyfriend
  • Aries: Good luck at your soccer game. Kick some major balls!
  • Taurus: I am going to look for Oreo Oreos and we will eat them and enjoy the irony of life.
  • Gemini: It wasn't me I swear! It was Eduardo and his loyal followers. They're out to ruin the lives of kids everywhere... #StopEduardo2k15.
  • Cancer: Idk maybe like you were hurt and nobody could help you but- WAIT- I have a car! And I was the closest and could drive you to the hospital. Or what if something bad happened here and I needed a safe place to stay why would I go to my friend's house when I could go to you!
  • Leo: May the theatre gods bless you with energy, a happy cast and an infinite supply of water. And m&ms. Yes, all powerful theatre gods, to you we sacrifice our sleep and sanity.
  • Virgo: I'm so excited to finally vacuum my carpet!!
  • Libra: Hope you had a great day off and best wishes for a hella sexy Tuesday.
  • Scorpio: gneeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
  • Sagittarius: I'm busy stalking your Tumblr right now, I found some pretty cool things... (One week later) I'm busy stalking your Facebook right now *sends pictures I found, adds weird quotes*
  • Capricorn: Hope she doesn't die.
  • Pisces: Goodnight my cute little penguin I love you and had such a fun time today!! <3