rugen

A veces me pongo a pensar, mientras contemplo la puesta del sol o la lluvia caer, como es que todo tu ser logró enloquecerme a la altura de no saber ni la manera en la que mi cuerpo se debe de mover. Alteras todas y cada una de mis terminaciones nerviosas, la conexión de mis neuronas se desploma y las palpitaciones de mi corazón rugen furiosas. ¿son acaso tus besos? ¿El olor de tu cuerpo? ¿Las caricias que me incitan a creer que todo estará bien? No lo sé. Porque las mejores cosas son así: inexplicables. Como los milagros que no son visibles, tangibles... Soy afortunada de poder estar segura que eres real y a mi lado decidiste estar.

-Margaret Salvador.

Princess Bride Recasted

WESTLEY:


Originally posted by thesarcasmcentral

Recasted as: RYAN GOSLING

BUTTERCUP:

Recasted as: DAISY RIDLEY

INIGO MONTOYA:

Recasted as: OSCAR ISAAC 

FEZZIK:

Recasted as: Shaquille O'Neal

VIZZINI:

Originally posted by tedywestside

Recasted as: CURTIS ARMSTRONG

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK:

Originally posted by peregrint

Recasted as: EDDIE REDMAYNE 

COUNT TYRONE RUGEN:

Recasted as: CILLIAN MURPHY

THE ALBINO:

Recasted as: SETH ROGEN

MIRACLE MAX & VALERIE:

Originally posted by tedywestside

Recasted as: JAKE JOHNSON & ILANA GLAZER

THE GRANDFATHER:

Recasted as: ROBERT DE NIRO

and finally, THE GRANDSON:

Recasted as: JACOB TREMBLAY

8

“My mind said, Mandy, if you get that part, and you play that guy, and you get that six-fingered man, and you get him, that’s cancer, and if you get him, your dad will come back.” —Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya) [x]

4

The Princess Bride cast reunion by Art Streiber (Entertainment Weekly, 2011)

(L-R) Wallace Shawn (Vizzini), Billy Crystal (Miracle Max), Carol Kane (Valerie), Chris Sarandon (Prince Humperdinck), Cary Elwes (Westley), Robin Wright (Buttercup), Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya), and Christopher Guest (Count Rugen). Also featured are framed pictures of Peter Falk (The Grandfather, the film’s narrator), who died in June 2011 and Andre the Giant, (Fezzik) who passed away in 1993.

IMAGINE A PRINCESS BRIDE AU

• Marinette living on a farm in the country and falling in love with Adrien the farm boy
• Adrien going off to seek his fortune only to be killed by the infamous pirate Chat Noir and Mari being heartbroken
• CHLOÉ AS PRINCE(SS) HUMPERDINCK BECAUSE SHE’S GAY FOR LADYBUG
• Hawkmoth as Count Rugen of course being super sinister
• MIRACLE MAX AND VALERIE AS NINO AND ALYA ACTING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE
• “LIAR! LIAAAAAAR!”
• Mari and Adrien fighting their way through the fire swamp
• MARI PUSHING CHAT DOWN A HILL AND THEN PANICKING WHEN HE YELLS “ASSSSS YOUUUU WIIIIIIIISSSSHHH” AND FALLING AFTER HIM
• Not sure where Vizzini, Indigo and Fezzik fit into all this
• IMAGINE A PRINCESS BRIDE AU

What I really wanted from Mauls death:

Obi-Wan: Hello, my name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. You killed my master and my love. Prepare to die.

[they begin to fight]

Obi-Wan: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my master and my love. Prepare to die. 

Obi-Wan: Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! And my love! Prepare to die!

Maul: Stop saying that!

[The battle heats up]

Obi-Wan: HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! AND MY LOVE! PREPARE TO DIE!

[Obi corners Maul, knocks his sword aside, and slashes his cheek.]

Obi-Wan: Offer me money.

Count Rugen: Yes!

Obi-WanPower, too, promise me that.

[He slashes his other cheek]

Maul: All that I have and more. Please…

Obi-Wan: Offer me anything I ask for.

Maul: Anything you want…

Obi-Wan: I want my Qui-Gon and Satine back, you son of a bitch! 

[Kills him]

5

I 100% blame shanology for this one because during one game of CAH she just kind of mentioned how the princess bride could totally work as a stucky au and that thought would not leave me alone

so, why the hell not?

Election 2016 meets The Princess Bride

* Trump = Vizzini. Sleazy, bad hair, and convinced that he’s smarter than everyone around him. Losing the election? Inconcievable!

* Hillary = Inigo. Willing to work with whoever will have her until she’s able to achieve her final goal of defeating the vast right-wing conspiracy.

* President of the USA = Dread Pirate Roberts. Westley/Obama holds the office now, but will soon ride off into the sunset and leave it to Hillary/Inigo. Meanwhile the previous holder is living like a king in Texas.

* The American people = Buttercup. Can’t believe her life is in the hands of all these jokers.

* Bernie = Miracle Max. Didn’t want to help Hillary/Inigo at first, but now tells us to have fun storming the castle.

* Tim Kaine = Fezzik. Looks more like a proper Dread Pirate Roberts to some people. ?Quiere alguien un cacahuete?

* Mike Pence = Count Rugen. As a more traditional conservative, he’s the kind of person who’s been Hillary/Inigo’s nemesis for years. Also supports child abuse.

* Putin = Humperdinck. Hired Trump/Vizzini to do a job for him.

* Gary Johnson = Priest (“Mawwwiage …”). Forgot to have them say “I do,” which was kind of an Aleppo moment.

* Jill Stein = Old woman (“Boooo! Booo!”).

* “Deplorables” = R.O.U.S.es. Some people don’t believe they exist.

* “Bad hombres” = Screeching eels. A handy threat to make you think you need Trump/Vizzini, but we gotta keep them on the other side of the Cliffs of Insanity.

* This whole election = A battle “to the pain.”

OH MY GOD LISTEN Y’ALL i can’t believe i haven’t made an Official Legit Post about this masterpiece of creation au but here i am ignoring my computer science homework adn GIVING U THIS BLESSING shoutout to @hansolosbutt for her ages-ago yelling w me and @sonseulsoleil for tellin me to make this post

B99/PRINCESS BRIDE AU

- amy santiago as the mysterious yet charming (wo)man in black

- jake peralta as the beautiful princess buttercup

- rosa diaz as the unbeatable latina swordsman inigo montoya

- terry as fezzik the gentle giant who loves rhymes

- miracle raymond and his witch (husband) kevin

- madeline wuntch as the evil humperdink

- the vulture as her slightly less evil right hand man count rugen

- jackie danger as vizzini

- charles boyle as the slightly-weird yet generally quite helpful albino who tends to westley’s wounds and feeds the animals in the zoo of death

- gina linetti as the crazy old woman who screams “FILTH AND GARBAGE” in buttercup’s dream

- seth dozerman as the captain of the guard dude i forget what his job was but u feel

- THE DREAD PONTIAC BANDIT

some quotes:

“terry loves rhymes”

“well, actually, he was originally a man named doug judy. and then when he retired, he passed it on to a guy named carl, and then when carl retired, he handed it over to this dude named dante thunderstone, and he decided to retire and hand it to me.”

“oh, well, partly-dead amy’s a bit of a pervert”

“and on that day, jake realized that when amy called him a butthead, what she really meant was, ‘i love you’”

(”and YOU can die too for all I care!” “BBBUUUUUUUUTTTTTTHHHEEEEEEEEEEAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddd!”)

([to the tone and pitch of Loud Carl’s voice] “AMY MY SWEET LOVE WHAT HAVE I DONE”)

[hysteric, high-pitched jackie danger voice] “never go against the federal postal service when DEATH is on the line!”

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