The Met Gala women's fashion that men should've taken a risk in.
The only reason I ever want to be famous is so I can show up to red carpets and events in Not A Fucking Suit. Menswear silhouettes are so BORING and every man at a red carpet event is a clone of the next one.
Oooh, so you changed the pattern on your Box Shaped Outfit? You made the coat ever so slightly longer or shorter on your Box Shaped Outfit? You switched out your bowtie for a *gasp* REGULAR TIE with your Box Shaped Outfit?
It’s so boring. It’s been boring for generations. We used to wear powdered wigs and feathers and butchers’ heels and ruffles and now everybody is in the same funeral suit at every event. Over it. If I was a man going to the Met Gala, these are the looks I would’ve wanted to wear.
Full disclosure: This is ugly. But I can imagine a man in it. Just getting it out of the way up top because I obviously wouldn’t be caught dead in this.
Killing the Box Shaped Outfit with an intense train? Here for it.
Pharrell tried a Relaxed Box, but it’s still the same shape. Would’ve much rather seen him in Helen’s outfit instead and that big ass hat he used to wear would actually work with the oversized silhouette and the shoe.
Take the chains and run them shoulder to shoulder across the back and I’m wearing it to the Grammys.
Bring the collar all the way up to a mock turtleneck, hair up in a topknot, switch out the diamonds for simple platinum or black leather cuffs, and turn the shoe into a cuban heel, and I want this.
Would totally wear. Have you seen my legs? Bye.
On the left (yes I can still tell them apart), same exact hair and length and styling. I can see so many waifish men in this outfit from Ezra Miller to, duh, me.
I’m pretty sure I can put that outfit together right now from my closet and get ready for lunch.
Tracee Ellis Ross
This is The One though. That’s the red carpet I’m going for. If I ever won an award for anything, that’s exactly what I want to be wearing, but longer because I can’t picture any shoe on a man that needs to be showcased at all with this outfit.
Year after year I hope for some dude to forreal step outside of the box at these events – not you wore cropped pants or a white tux or added a metallic blazer, but forreal left the Box Shaped Outfit at home – and nobody ever does. Masculinity and expression is so rigidly boring. I need to step up my sewing game real quick.