rude but hilarious

  • Me : *washes my face frequently*
  • Me : *washes my makeup off completely*
  • Me : *uses face masks to care for my skin*
  • Me : *drinks water to stay hydrated*
  • Me : *moisturizes*
  • Skin : *allows one tiny pimple to show*
  • Me : You ungrateful fucking child. How dare you. After all I've given you, this is how you repay me?
instagram

That one rude ass person we all know

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anonymous asked:

reddie and stenbrough as parents hcs!!!!!

- bill and stan would be the cutest dads in the world oh my god

- they adopt twin girls and they’re the smallest most precious things in the world

- bill would teach the girls piano from a young age and they play every day for him

- stan explains the jewish faith to them but tells them they can follow whatever path they want, he just wants them to know more about their dad

- they call bill ‘dad’ and stan ‘papa’ 

- their uncle george is literally their favourite person ever, minus their dads obviously

- bill and stan got married after they adopted and their girls got to be the flower girls and they wore matching dresses and little flower crowns and stan cried so much when he saw them

- the girls would be SUPER close with the other losers, especially their godfather’s eddie and richie

- speaking of…

- guess who adopted a little boy and a little girl? its reddie

- the girl ends up exactly like richie, cocky and rude and hilarious and eddie loves her just as much as he loves richie

- the boy was a little shyer, like eddie, and would stick by his side constantly

- the kids keep giving eddie nicknames because they grew up hearing richie call their dad every nickname he could possibly think of

- their personal favourite is ‘popsicle’

- richie is just plan old dad, but he loves it because he feels totally more masculine

- he’s also constantly making dad jokes that make everyone cringe

- their little girl grew up way too fast and started dating early and eddie was so happy for her but richie was ready to beat this boys ass

- “no boy is going to break my little girls heart, eds”

- all four of the guys had play dates with their kids every weekend and the four kids bonded so well and were basically the new losers club

- bev and ben were the ‘cool aunt and uncle’ that always had chewing gum and movies to watch

- but uncle mike’s farm was a fucking blast and that’s how one of the twins got into horse riding and realised she wanted to become a vet

- eddie and richie’s little boy likes bird watching with his uncle stan

- babygirl tozier loves video games just like her dad and beat his high score when she was 9; eddie never let richie live that down

- the kids would always have sleepovers together and always fall asleep in bill and stan’s living room, and their dads would just watch them fondly and wonder how they got so damn lucky

9

Face Casting: Miles Heizer as Noah Czerny (thanks anon!!!)

“Noah made a rude gesture, a hilariously unthreatening act coming from him, like a growl from a kitten.”

7 Years - BadBoy! Jeon Jungkook x Reader - Part 6

It’s so late at night here but as always here’s the next part to 7 years. Hope you guys enjoy it. <3

PS:

There’s a BTS song reference in here somewhere. I wonder if you can find it lmao

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6 - Here  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10.1  Part 10.2  Part 10.3  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20 - Final



Falling asleep after reading Jungkook’s note proved to be easier said then done and you found yourself staring at your ceiling, deep in thought. You couldn’t deny that lately you’ve felt a shift in your feeling towards Jungkook and his jealousy wasn’t helping you one bit. It secretly made you happy when he got frustrated over you and, now, who you hung out with.

When you finally admitted to yourself that you felt something more for Jungkook, sleep slowly crept in and the next thing you knew it was the next morning. You weren’t in a particular rush to meet Jung-Hoon and the fact that you were having a good hair day caused you to not even bother with makeup.

When 1:30 arrived, you left your house, bidding your sister and mother goodbye. The sun was out and it was late spring which meant that you could appreciate the warmth and your surroundings by walking to your destination. Arriving, you found Jung-Hoon seated at a table by the window, two drinks placed in front of him.

He seemed to notice you immediately as he waved to you and beckoned you over, sliding one of the plastic cups towards you.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I ordered you a caramel iced frappé.” Your eyebrows creased for a split second before you regained your cheerful mood.

“Well, you managed to order my favourite drink. Have you been watching me?” For some reason, Jung-Hoon stiffened at your joke and you blinked twice in confusion.

“Relax, Jung-Hoon. I’m just joking.” He let out a nervous chuckle and alarm bells rang in your head.

“I know you’re joking. It just caught me off guard.” You made up your mind. If anything weird happened you were definitely leaving. You knew when something wasn’t right and right now Jung-Hoon was making you extremely suspicious.

“Okay… so why did you want to hang out?” He paused at sipping his drink to look up at you through his eye lashes. Shooting you a dimpled smile, he rubbed the back of his head.

“I just think you’re a great person and wanted to get to know you better.”

Slowly nodding, you took a sip out of your own drink, watching him with slight caution. He seemed like he didn’t have any hidden motives and after you came to this conclusion you allowed yourself to relax a bit, resulting in an hour long conversation. Soon both of you held empty cups in your hand and Jung-Hoon stood from his seat, grabbing your cup.

“I’ll go throw these out and get their special dessert.”

Grabbing his hand, you stopped him from moving away.

“You don’t have to, I can pay for myself.” You received a shake of the head and a grin.

“No, don’t worry. I called you out so I should pay.” Taking your hand off his arm, he made his way to the bin and then the counter. He seemed to be genuinely nice but you felt that something was off.

Deciding to trust your gut feeling, you began to think of an excuse to leave. When Jung-Hoon approached your table, you opened your mouth to speak but was interrupted when he suddenly sat beside you leaving little to no space between your bodies.

“Um… what are you doing?” The blank stare you gave him did nothing to the sly smile that was currently present on his face and his hand landed on your thigh.

“Don’t worry, you’ve been so stiff this whole time. Just unwind…” he leaned in towards you and the puckering of his lips caused something inside you to snap.

So that’s what this was.

Smashing the palm of your hand into his face, you pushed him back, much to his surprise.

“Listen, I don’t know who you think you are to try some stupid shit like this but I’m not an easy girl. So I suggest you turn the fuck around and go back home Jung-Hoon.”

Apparently, he didn’t like that.

He snatched your wrist and pulled your hand off his face, leaning in once more. When you went to push him with your other hand, he restrained you.

Where the fuck was everyone in this café?

“No, you listen to me. Just fucking give me a kiss and stop being so stuck up. Then I’ll have no use for you and I’ll leave you alone.”

No use? What were you a fucking wet wipe?

“Let me go before I break your neck, you jerk.” You had no chance to follow through with your words because within a second, Jung-Hoon disappeared from in front of you.

It took you another split second to realise he was on the floor and someone was on top of him, fists raining down on his face.

“You worthless piece of shit! Who are you to touch my Y/N!” The possessive voice belonged to none other than Jungkook, who was mercilessly punching Jung-Hoon with every word.

To be honest, you had never seen him get into a fight so your shock caused you to freeze for a good minute or so. When you snapped out of it, you leaped out of your seat and proceeded to grab under his arms and pull him off the almost motionless body underneath him.

“Jungkook stop! I think he gets it!”
He ignored you and scrambled back to his target, grabbing his collar and bringing his fist back. Launching yourself at his back, you clung onto his arm, restricting him of any movement.

“Jeon Jungkook fucking stop!” When his full name left your mouth, his whole body froze and the hand that held Jung-Hoon’s collar slowly released its grip on it. He soon got back on his feet and grabbed you by your arm, hauling you up. It was only then that you noticed Namjoon standing before two boys that were clearly friends of Jung-Hoon.

“Hyung let’s go.” Namjoon snapped his attention to the both of you and shoved his hands in his pockets, stepping over Jung-Hoon’s body.

Jungkook dragged you out of the café and away from the watchful eyes of the bystanders. When you had made it down the street, he halted his movements and turned to face you.

“You alright? He didn’t do anything else did he?” Shaking your head, he visibly sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair.

“How did you know?” Returning his attention to you, he glanced at Namjoon then back at you.

“We were in the café the whole time, sitting at the back. His friends were on the table beside us and I heard them start talking about some bullshit bet they made and that’s when he tried to fucking kiss you.”

You made the connections in your head as Jungkook waited for your reaction. Normally, you would have been annoyed that he had followed you but it’s not like you actually wanted to be out with Jung-Hoon in the first place. So instead of snapping at him and walking away, you stepped forward and gave him quick peck on the cheek. Sure, you were acting out of character but his intentions were so innocent, even if he ended up beating someone to a pulp.

You also wouldn’t admit that the small crush you had on him that had been gradually growing caused you to want to give him a kiss on the cheek.

He didn’t seem all too shocked by it, if anything he seemed to be smug, the evidence being the smirk plastered on his face.  "Looks like your jealousy was helpful for something.“ Namjoon chuckled whilst Jungkook shrugged his shoulders.

"But Namjoon why did you come with Kookie today?” He slung his arm over your shoulder and pinched your cheek affectionately.

“Well you see, since Seagull over here is like a little brother to me, that automatically makes you my little sister.” You burst into laughter at the nickname Namjoon had used and Jungkook’s eyes widened in embrassment. He once again grabbed your arm and all but wrenched you from Namjoon’s firm grasp.

“Come on, Y/N. We’re going back to mine to hangout with the others.” Rolling your eyes at his possessive nature, you allowed him to tug you down the streets, Namjoon following close behind with a dimpled grin.

-

Spending the rest of the day playing video games with the boys was more fun than it sounded. Taehyung’s constant whining whenever he lost against Jimin on Black Ops caused Yoongi to throw hilariously rude insults at the boy. It became worse when they bet on the line distribution of a demo song called ‘Cypher’.

The poor boy almost ended up in tears.

When the evening had crept in, they all began to bid their farewells  one by one leaving only you and Jungkook. Your initial plan was to head home but Jungkook had other ideas.

“I called your mum and she said it was fine for you to stay over.” You let out a huff of annoyance, navigating around his tall frame. “That’s not the point, you idiot. The point is I never said I was staying over, heck, you didn’t even mention it!”

Making your way to his front door, you slipped your shoes back on and grabbed your bag only to be stopped by Jungkook’s body blocking the exit.

“You’re not leaving. It’s too late for you to leave.” Glancing at your watch, you then raised an eyebrow at his pathetic attempt to keep you at his house.

“Its nine thirty.”

“Yeah! I’m not letting you leave this late.” He challenged your blank face with a glare. You were getting nowhere with this conversation until he switched tactics.

Out of nowhere, he dropped the glare and pouted. Not a playful pout, oh no, a sad pout he matched with 'puppy dog eyes’. You felt your resolve weaken and before you knew it you were dropping your bag to the floor.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay.” Suddenly, you were lifted up into the air and thrown over his shoulder. You let out small shriek at the sudden action and watched as stairs suddenly came into view. He only dropped you when he had reached his room and began searching through his drawers.

“Don’t worry, I have spare clothes you can wear and a spare toothbrush.”

“Oh really? Well do you happen to have spare underwear too?” You thought you had caught him there and you mentally patted yourself on the back. Your celebration was short lived, however, when he craned his neck and gave you a sly bunny-like grin.

“Oh my god, that’s so creepy, never do that again.” Your only reply was a fresh pair of underwear thrown at your face. Snatching the matching underwear duo from your face, you shot him a look that expressed how creeped out you were.

“Y/N, you didn’t actually think this was spontaneous did you? I’m 18, I know what I need to know.”

Why did It sound like he was quoting lyrics?

“Okay, as your friend I think it’s my duty to let you know that you’re as weird as it gets.” He only shook his head in mild amusement before handing you a pair of shirts and an old t-shirt. Taking both articles of clothing, you made your way to his bathroom whilst giving him a genuinely concerned look, to which he brushed off with a snicker.

Once you had changed, you exited the bathroom to find he had set up a bed on the floor which he was currently occupying. Not being one to turn down the opportunity of a bed, you stepped over him and climbed under his bed covers.

“Hey! Don’t you know that if you step over someone they get shorter!?”

“Jungkook, shut up.”

It wouldn’t be a real sleepover without snacks and a movie, so you both opted to watch Sin City and brought out bowls of popcorn and ice cream. If there was one thing you knew about Jungkook it was that the later it got, the more nonsense he spoke and apparently this hadn’t changed at all since the last sleepover you had all those years ago. When the movie had ended and you spent the next few hours speaking, you made the not so hard decision to make him go to sleep. As funny as it was to hear him spout crap, you knew he was going to embarrass himself.

“I think you need to sleep now, Kookie.”

“But I don’t want t-”

“Go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

“…”

“…”

“We should get married, Y/N.”

“Shut up and sleep.”

“I’m being serious our kids would b-”

“Jungkook.”

“What?”

“Fucking sleep or I’ll burn your IU albums.”

That effectively shut him up.


Who Is That On Your Instagram?

Jace looked at the photo one more time, a huge smile making his jaw almost ache. He’d been smiling so much more than usual lately and he knew the reason why. Making sure he copied it before he cropped it carefully, he made a small adjustment to the brightness and posted it to his Instagram with the caption ‘there is no stopping this smile’ adding the wink emoji as a secret message.

He hoped it was vague enough to not rile suspicion, Jace wasn’t ashamed, not in the least, he just wanted to keep this bit of happiness to himself for a little longer. Two minutes later his phone was ringing.

“Iz?”, he answered, “Everything alright?”

“Who is that?, she blurted, her voice full of accusation

“Who is who?”

Jace had no idea what his sister was on about now, but she’d always been the nosy one. His mind hadn’t found the connection to what he’d done to warrant her question, that was until she connected the dots for him.

“Who is that on your Instagram?”.

Oh boy, he thought, so much for keeping it to himself. But how did she notice, he was sure he was being so slick. It must have been that caption, he was so stupid and mentally kicked himself. 

“What are you talking about, Iz? I posted a selfie”, he tried to redirect her playing innocent.

“And the arm around you?”, the accusatory and curious tone back. 

Okay so it wasn’t the caption.

“It’s a friend”.

“And you cropped them out why?”

“To be polite and not post their photo in case they don’t want to be on social media”.

“So considerate”, she patronized, and he knew she had to be rolling her eyes. “Do I know this friend?”

“NO”, Jace spoke a bit loud but it was too late now. 

“Oh really, that’s funny because Clary could have sworn that watch your friend is wearing is the one she bought for Simon last Hanukkah. And I’m pretty sure I got him a checked blue button down for his birthday, I think your friend is wearing a similar shirt. How funny is that?”

“Hilarious”, Jace deadpanned although his stomach felt nervous like it was flipping around in his gut.

“Even funnier is that Simon told Clary he was going on a date last night. When she asked if it was a first date he said no, and told her he really likes the guy a lot. Also pretty hilarious is that you’ve been kinda busy lately, and - um - smiling more”, she sounded so very smug in her assessment. 

Check and mate, Izzy knew it, her tone of voice said as much, he knew it too. Busted, no way out now, perhaps it was time for him to let everyone in on why he was so happy lately. It wasn’t a bad thing, he really cared a lot about Simon, he even let himself think the word ‘love’ once or twice. 

“Okay”, he huffed in resignation. “It’s Simon”

The squeal on the other end of the phone had Jace pulling it far from his ear. 

“I knew you were seeing someone, but Simon? Oh my god this is too cute”.

“Can you calm down please, Iz”, Jace sighed. 

“So it is Simon?”, a third voice came muffled over the phone from Isabelle’s end.

“Let me guess, Clary is with you?”. 

“Of course”, Isabelle answered like he was ridiculous.

“Okay so I’m glad you two figured it out, but can you keep it to yourselves for now. I really like him too, and I just want to enjoy this before everyone starts freaking out over it”.

“Too late”, Clary giggled in the background.

“Too late, what? Iz what did you do?”.

“Your notifications are about to blow up. Alright bye love you see you later”

“Iz? Izzy? Isabelle what do you mean?”.

It was too late she’d ended the call, and then Jace’s phone started buzzing and chiming incessantly. He had a bunch of missed texts from Alec, Magnus and Raphael, but his Instagram was going off. 

Opening the app he checked his last post and saw Izzy’s comment. 

Oh fuck she didn’t.

‘Hi Simon, you two are so cute. Congrats big brother you landed a good one’ To add extra emphasis she plastered two lines of different color hearts and the heart eyes emoji .

The resulting comments were his friends and family in varying states of shock or delight, a bunch were congratulatory, some hilariously rude, and then there was Simon’s comment. It was life buoy in a sea of insanity, and Jace couldn’t help but let the smile take over yet again. 

‘Cats out of the bag, huh Jace? Congrats to me, I landed a gorgeous one’ with the kiss emoji following. 

Jace ignored every other comment and only answered one, the only one that mattered.

‘There is no stopping that smile because you’re so damn cute ’

The annoying ‘awwwwwwwwww’ Clary commented with right after made Jace roll his eyes but he didn’t care because he’d be meeting his boyfriend, Simon for a lunch date in thirty minutes. But before he could leave, Jace decided to make another post, this time he shared the full photo. Simon was looking at him with the sweetest look on his face, and that is what made Jace smile.

headcanon about law and sanji discovering they share the same north blue mother tongue

veenia  asked:

Hey Audric, I was rereading Naruto Gaiden and I had realisation that Sasuke is a very rude person which is hilarious. But I don't think he is intentionally rude I think he is just being Sasuke.

Lol, I wouldn’t really describe Sasuke as rude, he’s just very blunt :)

Hehe, well it’s as he said isn’t it?

Sakura’s not some damsel in distress who can’t take care of herself ^_^

A few of the many reasons why you should all read the Gentleman Bastard books.

  • Gorgeous Mediterranean-inspired fantasy setting.

  • The main character, Locke Lamora, is the most hilarious, rude little shit/conman/thief who’s specialty is to bullshit his way out of trouble and into far worse trouble. Every word which leaves his mouth is pure fucking gold. 

  • Incredibly clever and well written dialogue filled with snark and insults so imaginative and ridiculous you’ll be wheezing. 

  • Diverse, interesting and complex female characters who are not sexualized. Includes badass woc pirates in the second book(!)

  • Close male friends don’t feel the urge to shout “no homo” after every sign of affection.

  • In fact being queer is not really frowned upon at all in this setting, and while there’s only been one confirmed gay (female) character whom I can recall so far (along with very brief mention of a pair of lovers who are both male), the author has said there’ll be more. 

  • Important big/overweight character who’s both intelligent AND strong and is not used for comic relief more than other characters. 

  • Character development. So much good character development! You get to see the main character at many different ages, currently ranging from early childhood to late 20s.