rubber head

I’m in the minority about Chowder!  I guess people see sweet and nice and thi—–HEYYY  WAIT A MINUTE



People see sweet and nice and think “Hufflepuff” because people think Puffs are a “lot o’ duffers” and like… I’m a Hufflepuff myself, we’re a great house with a lot of great qualities, and maybe Chowder has them?  But I haven’t seen them. Maybe loyalty, in his commitment to his super stressful fighty friends, but there’s another house that’s a far stronger contender.

To my mind, anyone whose highest ambition in life is to stand there while people fire a large rubber bullet at his head at 100mph and then try to catch it? Is a fucking Gryffindor.

Jack is complicated because he’s so ambitious (a Slytherin trait) that he ignored his essential nature (which is “nose to the grindstone” Hufflepuff) trying to be the apex of achievement and bravery (Gryffindor) and then, when that blew up in his face because he WAS a Hufflepuff trying to be Gryffindor, he found refuge in his intellectual abilities (Ravenclaw).

So with Jack you boil down to, “What does it mean to Sort someone?” Is it who they “innately are”, is it who they perceived themselves as being at ten years old (Jack, like me at that age, would have clenched the stool, gritted his teeth, and begged to be put anywhere but Hufflepuff), is it who they chose to be, or is it who they grew into being in adulthood?  With some people, like Jack, each of those questions will get you very different answers.


This picture is making you crazy, right? Yeah, me, too. See, here’s the thing…

This is the same man who blushed when he met Miss Piggy.

This is the same man who doesn’t put spaghetti in his Spaghetti Bolognese.

This is the same man who nerds out over tennis and Shakespeare.

This is the same man who elatedly cradled a baby clouded leopard.

This is the same man who had to take a break from reading the script for The Avengers and make himself a cup of tea because he was so excited.

This is the same man who is like a 5 year old with a lollipop when someone is foolish enough to hand him a microphone.

This is the same man who put a Princess Leia rubber duckie on his head.

This is the same man who did a Robert De Niro impression in front of Robert De Niro.

This is the same man who put on a gorilla suit to promote his new film.

This is the same man who disguised himself in a Jango Fett costume so that he would be unnoticed traveling to ComicCon.

This is the man who is your doom.

 I watched that segment when he was in Sesame Street and I wanted to draw an icon for it and it got out of hand lmao

Also there’s already a speedpaint bc I had alot of time on my hands



Not my review.

Went by tyra in her prime now she is washed up. Her picks are old. Shes saying she 25 but in mid 30s. Saw her once seemed nice on the phone got there she tryd to switch the convo up and try to fuck me RAW. THAT immediately drew a red flag. I just put on a rubber and got head and jacked off. Waste of money.


Summary: Four in the morning is the poster child for loneliness, earth’s betrayal; Dan Howell’s never been good at falling asleep at night. Because being alone in an empty house becomes suffocating, Dan finds solace in a cashier working the night shift at a grocery who’s afraid to fall asleep: Phil Lester. Maybe some questions are better off unanswered, or maybe Dan’s just afraid of the response.

Words: 8.1k

Warnings: Swearing, self-injury (bruising), depression, insomnia(?)

Author’s Note: **READ THIS** Between each scene, a week has gone by, except for the space between the park scenes.

Insomnia (noun) - habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep

3:49 AM.

Each time Dan closes his eyes, he feels like fire is spreading through his lids, coursing past his optic nerve and digging into the recesses of his brain. It’s cold, silent, like the clicks of his keyboard are nonexistent and there isn’t a nagging in the back of his mind that he should go to sleep, and that maybe there’s something wrong. All he can think is that he’s never been good at going to bed.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Taehyung daddy smut partition beyoncè 😊

Daddy’s Little Kitten- V(Requested Smut)

Partition- Beyonce(Audio)

//daddy has some new toys for his favorite little kitten//

Originally posted by parkjmn

daddy kink warning obviously, so proceed with caution nonnies;)

I walk out the bedroom door, surprised to find Taehyung sitting at the table, loosening his tie after a long day. “Hey babe, why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” He smirks a little, jaw slackening a bit when he sees me. “What are you wearing that in public for?” He demands slowly, licking his lips sensually.

My dress is tight and black, settling in my curves and down my mid thigh. I grip the wall as I lift one leg to put on my blue pumps, meeting Taehyung’s eyes as they roam over my body while it’s shifting and moving under the fabric.

“Kitten…” Taehyung purrs, leaning forward on his legs.

“I have a meeting in an hour, Tae.” I block his intense eye fucking session, putting on my other wheel before skirting around the opposite side of the table and into the kitchen. Searching through the drawers for our granola bars, I feel Tae ride against me as I bend down. 

“It should be illegal for you to go out like this.” He murmurs, bending over my hunched figure and breathing onto my neck.

“Tae.. I-”

“Shhh, hush little kitten.” He applies the slightest pressure with his fingers along my sides.

“Tae I really need to get going.”

He hums. “You said an hour.” His tongue flicks across my skin, eliciting shivers down my spine. “Don’t you know all the things daddy can do in that time?”

I swallow thickly as his long fingers lace through my hair, pulling my head back and moving closer against me, rubbing through the thin material of my dress. “But-”

“You’re going to make daddy angry if you keep resisting. Don’t you want to see the surprise I brought for you?”

I nod, straining against his grip. I’d spent forty five minutes getting dressed up and I wasn’t even going to make it out the door on time. Taehyung gives my ass a little pinch as I stand and break from his clutches, spinning around to meet with rock hard chest.

His tie is off, spinning it between his agile fingers before cocking his head. “Give me your hands, kitten.” He orders, tying my wrists together with a firm knot, the silk stretching against my skin.

My core is slowly heating, the feeble fabric of my thong soaking, only worsening from the friction as he leads me to the bedroom, legs rubbing as I walk. I’m not sure what kind of surprise Taehyung has, or whether I’ll even be able to walk after he’s done showing it to me. Because once he’s gotten fired up, it takes him a long, long time to come back down.

He tells me to sit on the bed and I do so, trying to stay patient as he reaches up in the closet for a rectangular black box, my stomach churning nervously as he saunters back over, opening the sleek, reflective lid.

A long black vibrator sits inside, a little pink collar sitting on top of it, a little heart on the collar branding me as Daddy’s Little Kitten. A small whimper escapes my lips, rubbing my thighs together to try and get more between my legs.

“Daddy…” I moan quietly, loving the intense look he gives me.

“What do you want, kitten?” He asks, leaning over me to fasten the collar around my neck, stepping back to admire my form. “I’m just about willing to give you anything looking like that.”

I lick my lips, tasting the cosmetic of my red lipstick. I’d love to see it over Taehyung’s face, painting his plump lips in a deep rogue. “I want you.”

He hums in assent, taking the vibrator from it’s box and rolling it between his palms, heating the cool rubber. “Daddy wants to play with you first.”

Leaning me back against the pillows, the pads of his fingers shimmy up the hem of my dress, pushing the stretchy material up the smooth expanse of my thighs until it’s pooled around my hips, underwear darker where my arousal has soaked through.

“Oh, Kitten.” Taehyung’s exaggerating voice enthralls me, deep and guttural in my ears. “Does Daddy really get you this excited?”

I whimper as he rubs a finger along my inner thigh, sensations ripping through my core at his barely there touch. “Ngggghh, yes.”

Slipping his fingers under my panties he pulls them down from the center, nails just lightly grazing my clit before he’s gone, leaving me a mewling mess in his wake. “You look so pretty laid out for Daddy like this.” He murmurs against my calves, lips working their way back up my skin. “Close your eyes.”

I do as I’m told, nails digging into my palms as he gets higher and higher, my body arching at the sudden sensation of his surprise toy against me. He moves the rubber head up and down along me in slow circles, not even turning it on and knowing it’s enough to drive me insane.

“Hmmm, let me hear you, kitten. You seem awfully quiet.”

He flips the switch on the side of the vibrator, a low purring sound coming from the black toy and high pitched moans tearing from my throat as it stimulates my clit in a cacophony of pleasure. My hips are rocking of their own accord, broken cries falling from my lips.

“Daddyyy… I-” My throat works as I struggle to keep my composure, fighting an uphill battle. “Daddy, please, I’m already about to-”

“Hold it.” He growls. “If you cum now, you’re going to be in very big trouble, Kitten.”

I roll my eyes, throwing my head back against the mattress and trying to squirm away from the toy, which only drives Taehyung to hover over me, trapping me as he turns it up higher. Before I can cry out he catches my lips in a kiss, swallowing the orgasmic sound whole.

His tongue slips along mine with ease, overtaking me in an instant as my legs begin to shake as I push away my approaching orgasm. I can’t breathe or focus or comprehend anything but the raw ecstasy that he’s put me under, careening under his demanding control.

“Daddy I-!” Falling headfirst into my orgasm I can only barely recognize that Taehyung has pulled from my lips, staring down at me with that deep, deep rogue spread across his lips and cheek. He looks so kissable, so fuckable, so sexy.

His groan turns into a growl as he watches me orgasm, writhing and rocking my hips up into the vibrator as it works me shamelessly and rocks me from head to toe. “You were a naughty kitten.” Taehyung’s voice is dangerous and low as he leans in, the room now quiet without the buzzing. “Now Daddy is going to have to punish you as soon as you get back home.”   

His words reach through the euphoria, shaking my head. “No, no, I’m sorry. I’ll be a good kitten, Daddy, I promise. I don’t want punishment.”

His smile is a wicked sympathy, his large hands beginning to pull my dress back down over the curve of my ass, slapping it roughly as I arch. “Bad kittens don’t get rewards.” He states, getting up from his spot above me with dark eyes. “And Daddy still has more surprises in store for your return.”

daddy tae got me feelin some kind of way…

~Admin Eggplant