We Shall All Be Healed- The Mountain Goats

Liner notes:

  • I let the mice chew through the bandages. One of them was this brown and white mouse who approached the whole task with a wonderful sense of play. Sparkling little eyes so lightheartedly intent on their work. Magnificent. Every little bit helps. I would lie there, in the boiling afternoon, watching the mice come and go, and I would fondly think of you.
    • Albums recovered from the trailer in Riverside
      • Curtis Mayfield “Curtis / Live”
      • Lou Reed “Blondes Have More Fun” (Bootleg, Australia 1974)
      • The Complete Works Of Bad Company
      • Jerry Jeff Walker Self-Titled
      • Ready for the World “Long Time Coming
  • I began to compile lists in my head. I remembered having read someplace that making lists was a way of calming the nerves. For me it only makes things worse.
    • Persons thought to have disappeared into the cavalcade of monsters
      • Rosie
      • You
      • Me
      • Tracy in Portland
      • Emil
  • I would reach for the telephone and then suddenly retract my hand as thought I’d nearly grabbed hold of a snake. That was me: letting it slide. Watching unthinkable things on the stolen VCR hooked up through no small effort to the cheap bolted-down TV. Eating Milk Duds all day. Milk Duds and Charritos. And Royal Crown Cola in bottles. You could get it cheap up at the Viva. For real.
    • Champions of the World
      • Chavo Guerrero
      • Ox Baker
      • Al Madril
      • Eddie “the Continental Lover” Mansfield
      • Black Gordman
  • In the great heat of the old motel I could feel the part of me that had been resisting the final disconnect beginning to wither. The kind of shrinking we practice turns us into invisible towers of strength. I’m sorry I brought you into this mess but I’m sorrier still that I’m not dumb enough to sink my arms in past the elbows. I have this sick feeling there’s something really great just past the point of no return. Stupid, huh? I let the mice chew through the bandages. I sat back and let the go about their joyful business. Ripping and tearing. They were setting me free.

West side riders know how we hold it down

My dearest, dearest T,

Remember that night on the balcony where I asked you to tell me something you’d never told anyone? You wore that old silver-blue jacket that mirrors your Atlantic eyes and the town’s skyline glittered on the horizon. You were cold. I was terrified.

“I forged my mom’s signature once,” you said. “On a homework assignment. Now tell me something YOU’VE never told anyone.”

“I love you,” I said. 

And you got so scared you started shaking. Because love is terrifying. But you jumped right off that cliff after me.

“I love you, too. Forever and always.”

Look, I’m sorry my parents won’t let us date. Terribly sorry. I’m sorry it’s over theology. I’m trying so hard to please them enough to change their minds. But I’m also trying so hard to make you stop being so scared. You’re terrified I’ll leave. You think you’re awful and awkward, and sometimes you are, I’ll admit it, but let me tell you something.

You’re amazing. You’re strong and brave and patient to put up with my parents’ crap. I guess they just forgot what it was like to fall in love, on the same campus as we did, no less. I love when you part your hair to the side and when you wear your Ohio State hoodie and you get excited over passing trains and your kisses taste like Royal Cola and sunshine. I love that look on your face when you find me hiding in the library after your late night class. When we’re up in the lounge, when we forget to watch Star Trek on your old laptop because you’re too busy running your long, gentle musician’s fingers through my curls and pressing me against the cold wall, whispering past your kiss that you never want to let go.

I loved you even when you cried in the library beside me, utterly broken over my parents’ words from half a continent away: never, ever. And how you held me when I cried and promised to drive half a continent in your dad’s old pickup just to stand up to them if need be. 

“I’m standing in a dark hall, trapped without a door,” I whispered, my face buried in your shoulder. “I know you’re beside me, but you’re even more scared than I am, and I’m not even allowed to hold your hand.”

“Then we’ll break our way out,” you said. You made me look you in the eye and you said, “Whatever happens, I will always, always love you.”

Thank goodness my parents are starting to warm up to our sunshine.

But, T, you have to stop. 

I’m the only one on the face of this tearstained planet who knows about your addiction. I’m probably the only girl who’d forgive you for it. I have. Except you relapsed. 

At least you told me. At least you apologized. You tried to stop.

You didn’t beat it.

You have to. 

Am I not enough? 

Apparently not.

Words are my love language. I gave you a jarful to take home over break, since we can’t call each other, with a note for each day until next semester. I just hope it’s enough motivation. I just hope I’m enough motivation.

Because as much as I love you, I cannot stay with you if you can’t beat this. And it will break me to leave you.

They say when you find the one, it’s like gluing two pieces of paper together: if you tear them apart, they’re irreparable. 

Don’t do that to me. I know you don’t want to.

I’m fighting my parents, my church, and my world I had before you, for you.

Please, the least you can do is fight yourself for me.

I love you, forever and always.


anonymous asked:

Hi,first of all I love your blog and I want ask a question. I started listening 1D not that long ago and now my friend's job is just telling me how disappointed she is, how they can't sing (she told me she listened few live performances) etc. Well technically I don't care but yeah, I want to prove her she's wrong or something like that. I don't want to destroy our friendship but it's just pissing me off like they sound really good? Louis' voice is like pure heaven? Anyway thanks for any responde

don’t worry nonnie. I’ve got your back. (can only insert 5 videos the rest are links, enjoy)

Story Of My Life acappella
18 First Live Performance
One Direction Best Vocals 2010 - 2014
Best Song Ever San Siro
What Makes You Beatiful San Siro
Little Things San Siro
Little Things TV Special
Story Of My Life TV Special
Use Somebody
Girl Almighty TV Special
Teenage Dirtbag (from This Is Us)
One Way Or Another Brits
I Would (from This Is Us)
Change My Mind (from This Is Us)
Moments (Teen Awards)
You & I 
Harry Styles Don’t Let Me Go
Ready To Run
Don’t Forget Where You Belong (skip to 2:20)
Night Changes (The Royal Variety)
Clouds (Coca Cola Mexico)
Right Now San Siro
Through The Dark San Siro
Happily San Siro
Better Than Words San Siro
Midnight Memories San Siro
Wembley Stadium Concert Complete
Take Me Home Tour Paris Complete Concert