You and Jude have a lot of fun memories with your babysitter. By now, probably more racked up with her than you have with MOM and PA combined. You always saw her as a cool and fun older kid, a role model to strive to be like one day!
Until you finally got old enough to realize she’s a pretty sucky role model. Still fun and all, but so bad at grownup stuff. Kinda sad. You suddenly wonder what sort of adult role models she’s had in her life? That’s probably a thing that would be too awkward to ask, so never mind.