roxane gay

I buried the girl I had been because she ran into all kinds of trouble. I tried to erase every memory of her, but she is still there, somewhere. She is still small and scared and ashamed, and perhaps I am writing my way back to her, trying to tell her everything she needs to hear.
—  Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body, by Roxane Gay
10

Have you seen Lemonade? Did you cry (sob)? Have you been thirsty ever since? Here’s our Lemonade-inspired (in no way extensive) reading list. We love these brave, strong, smart, ever-inspiring queens. 

Warsan Shire’s Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth forthcoming.

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I’ve worked a lot more with female directors than male directors. That’s kind of more what I know, actually!

-Gugu Mbatha-Raw

Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s directed by women filmography

Belle dir. Amma Asante - 2014
Beyond the Lights dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood - 2014
9 Kisses dir. Elaine Constantine - 2014
Jupiter Ascending dir. Lilly & Lana Wachowski - 2015
The Whole Truth dir. Courtney Hunt - 2015
After the Storm dir. Jessica Oyelowo - 2016
August 28: A Day In The Life Of A People dir. Ava DuVernay 2016
A Wrinkle in Time dir. Ava DuVernay - 2018
Fast Color dir. Julia Hart - 2018
Irreplacable You dir. Stephanie Laing - 2018
Summerland dir. Jessica Swale - 2019

I keep waiting to be treated badly. Does anyone else do this? Literally every day I think, Today is the day when things will change, when I will overstay my emotional welcome, when this person will decide that treating me well is beyond what I deserve. Every nicety, every act of kindness feels like something I need to lock in a vault. It all makes me realize that my threshold for being treated decently was desperately low for like, all of my adult life. I am full of great advice and lofty standards for my friends. Do this, don’t put up with that. When it comes to myself, it’s like, well, you’re garbage so the rules aren’t the same for you. I get mad at myself when I realize this, when I realize how passive I can be, how I try to be invisible in my own life, how I try to not take up space or require anyone else’s attention or energy.
—  Roxane Gay, “The Kale Was Talking Shit to Me
2

my daily to-do lists are shorter this summer because i’m working full time, so i’m experimenting with spreads a little. last week’s was “3 things i’m proud i accomplished each day.”

This is what most girls are taught—that we should be slender and small. We should not take up space. We should be seen and not heard, and if we are seen, we should be pleasing to men, acceptable to society. And most women know this, that we are supposed to disappear, but it’s something that needs to be said, loudly, over and over again, so that we can resist surrendering to what is expected of us.
—  Roxane Gay, Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body
What goes unsaid is that women might be more ambitious and focused because we’ve never had a choice. We’ve had to fight to vote, to work outside the home, to work in environments free of sexual harassment, to attend the universities of our choice, and we’ve also had to prove ourselves over and over to receive any modicum of consideration.
—  Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist: Essays