Throne of Glass characters rated by Big Dick Energy

(in no particular order)

Chaol - 4/10 - I mean, he started off the series at like a…. 2/10. Maybe he could be a good guy, but he just let the King of Adarlan make him a tool while skipping around with his bro Dorian. He’s improving. Slowly.

Lorcan - 5/10 - BDE only counts if you know how to use it, am I right??

Maeve - 8/10 - We’ve gotta be real, she’s the biggest threat to peace in this series. I mean the whip. The iron. Telling Aelin about the thousand years with Rowan. The woman knows how to hurt her enemies.

Erawan - 2/10 - What even is his point, why does he exist except to be useless in his attempts to get Maeve back to his world. Coulda used you being useful decades ago, buddy.

Manon - ???/10 - Manon could literally give two shits about how much BDE you think she has.

Aedion - thinks he’s a 10/10, is more like a 7/10 - He has that whole Wolf of the North thing going, but chivalry kinda died when he called Lysandra a bitch.

Lysandra - 10/10 - perfection. The girl knows how to survive. She’s a chameleon and will seduce you just so she can slit your throat in bed. Don’t say she never tried to let you down easy.

Abraxos - cinnamon roll/10

Arobynn - I’d rather not talk about his BDE, and neither would Aelin or Lysandra, thanks.

Yrene - 6/10 - Much like Chaol, she’s learning. She’s just gotta take some more time to grow into her BDE.

Elide - 8/10 - she is smol but contains much BDE. Don’t underestimate, because if she doesn’t kill you, Manon will.

Nesryn - 12/10 - The size of one’s bow is not proportional to the amount of one’s BDE. She wouldn’t be able to carry it if it were.

Rowan - ???/10 - Wait, is Rowan a male Manon??? Anyway, he will kill you without breaking a sweat. And we have to admit, the boy has some self-control, not sexing up Aelin for months when he thought it was… ya know I forgot why they waited so long but it was some hot, hot sexual tension.

Dorian - 69/10 - Look, we all thought he was like a solid 7/10, until he hooked up with Manon.

Mort - unclear/10 - Is he alive? I dunno. But he had the guts to sass Aelin, so I’d say he has some measurable amount of BDE.

Aelin infinity/10 - actually you know what, let’s just say that she and Lysandra both have Bad Bitch Energy, ok? Aelin will out-kill you and out-snark you and even out-dress you, and with very little effort.

Those moments when you read something that’s so fucking badass you need to stop reading and just take a moment to compose yourself because you’re shaken to the core

*2 characters have to stay in an inn/motel overnight*

*there is only one room left*

*there’s only one bed*

*the bed is really small and it’s cold and they have to cuddle for warmth*

This actually happened…

Me: *casually reads smutty fic in the living room*

Grandma: So, what are you reading?

Me: Um, well, see its this really deep and emotional novel…You gotta think long and hard about each sentence

Grandma: Whats it called?

Me: *sweats profusely* The bible? Thought I needed a bit of jesus in my life

Me trying to wrap my head around the fact that some people read but don’t get emotionally attached to characters

Originally posted by haikyuutiehowyadoin

REMEMBER

Remember when we thought Aelin was Celeana and she was just some badass assassin who just had a bad day and got thrown in prison but when she won the competition she’d just go on cool missions and that would be Throne of Glass HAHAHAHAHAHAHSHJDBCDSC same

By “relaxing with a book” I actually mean that I’ll be crying and sweating and having heart palpitations and basically just stressing the fuck out but y’know details

8

lit covers | Kingdom of Ash

Captured by the Queen of the Fae, Aelin is trapped inside an iron box in a secret location, with seemingly no hope for escape. As she endures months of torture, her friends scatter to different fates. Without Aelin to protect them, soldier Aedion and shapeshifter Lysandra need to defend their homeland at all costs. Also left to forge their own paths in order to change history are Chaol, the witch Manon, and the golden boy Dorian-while Aelin’s mate, the fae male Rowan, searches the world over for his lost love.

As Aelin gathers the strength to save herself and fight the ultimate battle of her life, all of their destinies hang in the balance. Some ties will bond even tighter together, others will be severed forever, and mysteries will be revealed in this action-packed, heart wrenching series finale.

october 23rd 2018