I went in, was all routine
Open legs; the swab goes in
I leave;

I go home again
Enter cocoon, so young then
Go home like I really can
It’s always the same there
Stale old fights hanging on walls
Frail old nights echoes of calls
I leave,

Fly back to our life
Frantic message, another
A letter and another
I must come back in, they say

Routine broken, something wrong
I was so very young then
And maybe that’s what they’d say
She was so young! What a shame!
A life barely begun then

I go to the hospital
Check me in, put me under
I wonder if I’ll come back
I awake feeling the same

I go back to the same routine
They got it; they got it all
But warn me it could come back

It still hangs over my head
I was young then; I’m so young
I wasn’t done then; I’m so young

So this is now my routine
Wonder if something I don’t feel
Will one day spread inside me
Undetected and silent
All the things that could kill me
Will it be silence that does me in?



New year new meeeeeee! Guys I’m so excited I cleaned my apartment and set up a little place at my island bar area a little bujo station! I don’t really have a big enough desk to spread out like I like to and the desk I have now is just a corner tower desk that already has my PC desktop on it 😅 I’m so excited to start the new semester. I’m gonna be taking an Intro to Criminology course!!! :D Dream course.

Hope you all are doing well <3 Stay safe and beautiful :D



tips for flawless skin:

(note: everyones skin type/genes are different! this may not work 100% for everyone but this is what i do to maintain healthy skin!)

- stay hydrated. this is probably the most important one! not only does staying hydrated make you feel better and improve your health drastically, over time, your skin will feel more plump and smooth due to the boost in elasticity from the internal hydration.

- exfoliate! 2 -3 times a week!! this is also super important ! exfoliating takes away Dead and dry skin cells, leaving the fresh and new layer of skin beneath ! your skin will be glowy and clear, while unclogging your pores and reducing chances of acne as well

- moisturize ! a huge step that shouldn’t be missed. moisturizing will replenish your skin with needed nutrients and hydration. remember to use a moisturizer based on your skin type !

- use a gentle face wash. use one that isn’t filled w harsh chemicals that can dry out your fragile skin or cause irritation. remember that your facial skin is thin and needs to be handled gently !

- change out your pillowcase once a week! pillowcases can trap all kinds of nasties like dirt and oil. this causes acne and clogged pores! this will also reduce the excess oil on your scalp !

- use face masks. these can remedy a slurry of issues such as redness and puffiness. use one up to three times a week !!

- do a simple fav massage in the am! It helps circulation and reduces puffiness. with your fingertips, in circular motions, gently massage from your forehead all the way down your neck, focusing on your jaw and neck. 5 minutes is recommended but a quick sweep is ok too!

- find a routine that works best for you! going to a dermatologist is recommended, but for those on a budget, you can do tons of online research! your routine can be as simple or as complex as you’d like. and beforall, remember to tea new skincare items on a patch on your arm or neck!

if u have any more tips feel free to add!

Maybe one day I will learn how to prioritize myself. Restitch the sagging weight under my eyes and pin it up so that I actually look alive. Eat on a schedule structured by the celestial bodies in the sky instead of an arbitrary set of times that fall in between work and the busy affairs of life. Maybe one day, these mechanized arms will feel bones sprout through their wires, and breathing will come more easily, sparing the smoke. I say one day like it’s something I can afford to put off. I wonder how many more tomorrows it will take before I decide that one day will be too late.
—  And the days go on
how to start your day out right
  • get up early. yes, it’s super hard. yes, it’s painful. but it will help you start your day with enough time to have breakfast and do your morning routine without being rushed.
  • eat breakfast!!! many experts agree that this is the most important meal of the day. it tells your body that it’s time to get up and start going. if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t skip breakfast. it’s actually beneficial to eat breakfast because your metabolism will be get going and be faster for the rest of the day! eat a healthy breakfast, though– you want to give your body good fuel. you wouldn’t try to make your car run on water or something, and the same principle applies to your body. try to eat some fruits or vegetables with your breakfast!
  • HYDRATE HYDRATE HYDRATE!!! I get that you might feel nauseous in the morning, but force yourself to drink a glass of water. headache? drink a glass of water and wait half an hour before you take an ibuprofen. a lot of the time, you’re actually just a little dehydrated. if you can’t eat and are going somewhere later, grab an apple or banana and put it in your bag for later. while you’re at it, fill up a refillable water bottle and put it in there, too. try to drink throughout the day!
  • look at your face in the mirror. is it greasy? does it have dried things around your eyes? does your skin feel gross? did you forget to take off your makeup last night? wash your face! even if none of the above are true! the water will wake you up and it will help clear your pores from all the stuff that built up overnight.
  • now look at your hair. greasy? clumping together? when was the last time you showered or took a bath? unless you showered last night, get in there and clean yourself off. work that shampoo into your hair, making sure the parts near your head get all soaped up, too. maybe even wash your hair twice, if you feel like it. (I like how it starts to make squeaky clean sounds after two washes!) when you’re done, get out of the shower, blow dry your hair, apply lotion to anywhere that needs it, put on some makeup/chapstick/etc, and feel ready to face the day!
  • well, sort of. time to get dressed, right? check the weather on your phone. what’s the highest temperature for the day? choose your clothing length accordingly. look at your calendar and check what you’re doing for the day to decide whether you want to dress formally or not. personally, I check the weather and calendar and set out clothes the night before so that I don’t have to do as much in the morning.
  • check what you have in your bullet journal or planner so far and make a mental plan for your priorities. (you can write it down if you’d like!) make sure you have an idea of how you’re going to manage your time.
  • go outside if you can! getting outside light in the morning helps reset your body’s clock and get you back on track for going to bed at night. also, vitamin D is really important! doctors recommend that we humans get at LEAST ten minutes of sunlight per day, at least where I live! check the stats for your local area and try to meet that goal every day. if you can’t, ask your doctor if you should take a vitamin D pill every morning.
  • take your meds! if you’re on a cumulative medication, such as antidepressants, it’s extremely important to try to take them at a similar time every day so that the levels in your body can stay regulated so that they can do their best to help you. if you haven’t, take a minute to look at your med’s requirements so that you know how you should take it. some say that you should take it with food, and others say to make sure you drink a full glass of water when you take it so that it can dissolve properly. whatever the requirements, try your best to meet them so that the meds can best help you!!!
  • another thing that can help you wake up is a little bit of exercise. you don’t have to run a marathon every morning– you can even just do a few simple stretches or yoga poses every morning. anything will help!

good luck!
♥ theo

anonymous asked:

girl leak your workout routine

This is what I started with. I switch up the numbers a lot

Flat-Bench Dumbbell Chest Flys: 2 sets of 10 reps
Flat-Bench Dumbbell Bench Press: 2 sets of 8-10 reps
Single-Arm Dumbbell Row: 2 sets of 10 reps (each arm)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown: 2 sets of 10 reps

Leg extension: 3 sets of 15 reps
Standing Calf Raise: 3 sets of 12-15 reps
Decline weighted crunch: 2 sets of 10 reps
Plank: 60 seconds
Side crunch: 3 sets of 10 reps (each side)
Toe touches: 3 sets of 10 reps
Russian twist: 3 sets of 10 reps (each side)


Bicep curls: 3 sets of 10 reps
Hammer curls: 3 sets of 10 reps
Triceps Extension: 3 sets of 15 reps
Bench Dips (triceps version): 3 sets of 10 reps

Dumbbell Front Raise: 3 sets of 10 reps
Seated Dumbbell Lateral Raise: 3 sets of 10 reps
Dumbbell Shrug: 3 sets of 10 reps
Incline-Bench Dumbbell Press: 3 sets of 10 reps
Bicycle crunches: 2 sets of 15 reps
Reverse crunches: 2 sets of 12-15 reps
Double leg raise: 2 sets of 12-15 reps

Leg adduction: 2 sets of 15 reps
Leg abduction: 2 sets of 15 reps
Leg press: 2 sets of 15 reps
Alternating walking lunges: 2 sets of 20 reps (10 reps each leg)
Leg extension: 2 sets of 15 reps
Standing Calf Raise: 2 sets of 12-15 reps
Wide squats: 2 sets of 10 reps (squeeze on the way up)
Glute Bridge or Single Leg Glute Bridge: 2 sets of 10 reps
Donkey Kicks: 2 sets of 10 reps (each leg)
Chair Kick: 2 sets of 10 reps (each leg)


(I also go on YouTube for random ab workouts haha and walk A TON!)

You thought that being young would be many things. Skipping school and running through fields, sitting in the sun with friends, going to parties, coming home late and not remembering it the next day, taking buses and trains, not caring where you go, as long as you were with those few special people, kissing cute boys, and dressing up to go on first dates, sitting in coffee shops, talking about everything and nothing. You expected adventures, stories that you could tell your grandchildren one day.

You didn’t expect to be stuck in the same monotonous routine, going to school, having to face people you strongly dislike on a daily basis, feeling worthless, and so used to being tired that it’s now a part of you and you can’t remember the last time you felt awake. You feel pressured, trapped, like there will never be a way out, and most of all, you feel alone.

—  Unknown