today I am going to go see someone about getting different medication, and then things will go from there I guess, I don’t really know. my dad thinks therapy would do me some good as well. I don’t disagree, I’m just a little hesitant about the four-hour-round-trip drive this would entail for every session.
probably I am putting too much weight on this appointment. I know no one thing is going to make me feel better right away. but it’s difficult not to bring a lot of insecurities into it. I really want things to get better, but what if they don’t? what if I’m just like this?
…also, even if, objectively, you completely believe in using psychiatric medication when necessary, which I do (obviously), there is still something a little intimidating about the whole prospect of “right, go tell someone a bunch of personal details about yourself, and then we’ll give you some drugs that will make your brain work differently.”
what I’m saying here is I’m pretty nervous right now.
not that it takes much, really.