because your loved ones have not, let me say it for them. or rather, let me say it for myself, because you owe them no allegiance.
i love you. you are loved like first snow and the spring rain. you are loved like mountains love sky. i don’t have to know you to say this, much like i don’t have to know the name of every dog to understand that if i was to lay eyes on it, i would smile instantly. i don’t need to know you. i know you think you are flawed or broken or that maybe there is something inside of you that is too much poison. it is okay. that lived - or maybe lives - inside of me too. that is okay. nobody blames nature when she is cruel. i still think you are awe-inspiring, because what can you be but nature’s offspring?
i am proud of you. i am proud of every small kind thing you did, especially when no one was looking. i am proud of you for everything you worked for, and i do not fault you for the mistakes you made. none of us are are perfect. it’s okay. i am proud of you just the same.
and i believe in you. i believe that if you want something, it should be yours. i believe that you are fighting battles beyond the ones i can see. i believe that you are strong, that you are courageous, that you are capable of winning. i believe that you hold a future in your hands that will amaze me to know. i believe that you mean so much already and you will change this world in incredible ways. we never really grow up if we don’t want, but i know that as you grow older, who you will become will inspire others.
please don’t give up. i know it is hard. i know it is. but you have already come so far. one day you will look back on this moment and say “finally, the worst is over” and it will be. you will only become stronger in this storm, and one day, the clouds will clear and all will be sun.
and again, because i cannot say it enough: i love you, little one.